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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What lies does your ex tell people about you?

124 replies

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 07:53

I'm evil apparently.
I left him in thousands of pounds worth of debt and about to be evicted.
He tells this to his mates, anyone we jointly know, his family, strangers and the doctor (apparently)

In reality the reason we were in debt is that he kept walking out of jobs lying they had laid him off or leaving because they made him do something he felt beneath him because he wanted to game all day and my wage alone wasn't enough to manage on.

He has been paying £5 a month off in debt.
I have paid thousands off because he's never worked since I left and I have.
I've finished paying off a £££s loan for stuff that is still in his house and he definitely wasn't about to be evicted as housing benefit accidently made a payment of nearly 2k to his landlord after I left and his landlord doesn't have to pay it back but I do.

Funnily his fiance prior to me also left him in debt and 'emptied him out'

His new girlfriend has recently told me she's been told all about me.

Knob

OP posts:

Nikitasol · 02/02/2018 12:12

That I'm mad, owe him 46k, am limiting access to dc although he's not made the effort to see him, I've taken all his furniture ..... none of this is true.

Nikitasol · 02/02/2018 12:14

I got a court summons yesterday for debts he'd put in my name

Bluelonerose · 02/02/2018 12:14

Omg where do I start?
The best is I'm stopping him seeing his child. (Got a message from new gf telling me I was a shit mom for stopping him)
Ehx dm picks ds2 up from school every Friday and depending on weather exh can be bothered to turn up at his mother's or not depends on weather he comes back Friday night or Saturday lunchtime.
Absolutely stumped how I'm stopping him
Answers on a postcard please

LunchBoxPolice · 02/02/2018 12:27

I see you have all met me ex husband same shit here, 3 years later and he still maintains that I was cheating on him. He slept with a prostitute using money from our joint account when I was 7 months pregnant with HG.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/02/2018 12:28

My ex and DD's dad told his the girlfriend after me that he only proposed to me because I was pregnant. Funny that, seeing we didnt get engaged til she was about 15 months old.

He also told said GF, that they would get married and she would be DD's mother. (Cruel, considering she had fertility issues)

He told his parents that he was paying me £150 a month in CM. He hadnt paid me in over a year at that point and I told them that.

I dunno what other shit he's told about me, but I really dont care. He's another woman's problem now.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/02/2018 12:31

Oh and he too, would slag off his ex wife. She was nuts, wouldnt let him have female friends. What a twat I was, considering he was behaving like loves young dream with a exgf from 2 years ago.

Now, any hint of ex bashing and I'm done.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/02/2018 12:31

Sorry, that was 2 decades ago!

Loyaultemelie · 02/02/2018 12:40

I had had 2 affairs, one with a woman. (I hadn't, he however was found out to have been with 2 18 year olds).
I was on benefits but working. Nooo I was working crazy hours in a business we were both meant to own while he lounged around at home.
I was clearly "crazy" and needed help. (Yes possibly or I wouldn't have stayed in an abusive relationship for so long)

ohreallyohreallyoh · 02/02/2018 12:45

Sigh. That I 'raped him to get pregnant so he wouldn't leave me'. This included plying him with drink and handcuffing him to the bed. I was just pregnant when he left so presumably he wanted the OW to believe 'we never have sex' line.

I was also physically abusive and mentally ill as well as unable to manage money.

Pure projection.

DeliberatelyAwkward · 02/02/2018 12:51

My own ExH is actually brilliant, and I don't think he's ever said a negative thing about me

OH's ExW is less discerning I suspect, but we stay away from any social media shite and don't really share friends. The big whopper that reached us was that she'd bought OH out of their house (nope). And when I was introduced to the DCs - 2.5 years after they'd separated - she decided I was the OW (there has never been a OW, split not due to affairs, just a deterioration of the relationship!). But she really believed that I think. Properly convinced herself. And for a while I felt sorry for her, tried to empathise with how much it must hurt to see your Ex move on and why you might seize on such an idea. Turned out it was a big, red, flag.

holdmybeer · 02/02/2018 12:56

Oh this is fun!
I too am a psycho who he thought was cheating on him and I left him with nothing.

The reality was that I had depression, probably due to living in a controlling and loveless marriage he was the one out cheating and the finances were split 50/50 in the divorce after he walked out on me and our 1 year old.

UpstartCrow · 02/02/2018 13:00

I'm a psycho, who hated his new GF. As soon as I found out she was waiting round the corner when he come to see the DC's I rushed out, said Hello and invited her in for a cup of tea.
She ditched him soon after and he told people he ditched her for being a psycho.

LakieLady · 02/02/2018 13:12

That I "made" him marry me - it was entirely his idea

That he ended our marriage because I was shagging my now DP - I had ended our marriage 3.5 years earlier, but the fucker wouldn't move out

That I only gave him 3 days notice that I'd raised the money to buy him out, and he didn't have time to pack up his stuff, and I threw it all away (I gave him 10 days notice, and he would have had several weeks if he'd consented to having the matrimonial rights notice lifted so that I could remortgage - we had to beg, borrow and practically steal to get the money together, including taking out 2 credit cards and borrowing £5k each on them to get the last £10k)

I deliberately held the divorce up for 4 months, when it was delayed because of 2 cock-ups on the part of his solicitor, for which his solicitor apologised to me.

We still live in the same small town, and there are people I knew for years before we married who look away rather than risk me speaking to them. Twats.

Some of the best lies were actually in the divorce petition: things like "deliberately" waking him up by hoovering when he was trying to have a lie-in at weekends (I never hoovered before midday, and I only did it then if I was going out), and that I didn't like his family. In fairness, some of his family were pretty unlikeable, but he didn't like them much either. Not liking them certainly didn't constitute unreasonable behaviour!

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 02/02/2018 13:28

It is a massive red flag that is taught on the freedom programme if someone slates their ex in many of these ways.

One of thw first things i would look for in a future partner is how they speak of their exes

FlurkenSchnit · 02/02/2018 13:30

I am a fat lazy slob, he "let me have" our house and all the furniture out of the goodness of his own heart and that he cannot possibly tell me where he lives or his land line number else I would harass him endlessly. He is apparently dad of the year and would do anything for his kids.
I was the one working, doing all the housework and looking after our ds as he refused to get or keep a job, would do nothing in the house and would take ds to his mother''s house for her to look after him instead when I was working.
I bought the house with my own mortgage in my own name based solely on my earnings as he had a bad credit rating and also did not contribute financially.
I didn't care where he lived, I just wanted to know where he was taking ds and how to contact him in an emergency as he would often ignore his mobile. Of course that was back in the days when he bothered with ds. He has no contact with ds now, he will sometimes go to exmil's house when ds is there and sometimes talk to him. This apparently counts as contact....however he blanks ds in the street and didn't even give him a card, let alone a present, for Christmas. He also refuses to pay maintenance, had under £200 off him in 11 years but he's Father of the Year don't you know!
I've no doubt that he has said a lot more about me that I have yet to hear but he has similar derogatory things to say about his 2 ex-wives (1 before me 1 after) whereas the fact that he is an abusive (psychologically/financially/physically) twat seems to be dismissed. He has recently become engaged to a new girlfriend and I dread to think of the absolute shite he must be telling her about us all.

britespark1 · 02/02/2018 13:39

That I used to hit him. I may have got shouty when I found out he’d been cheating on me but I never ever touched him. Luckily he told this to mutual friends who told him to do one and haven’t spoken to him since. I love them.

Lettucepray · 02/02/2018 13:45

That I'm crazy, that I'm alienating his daughter from him.....that I was abusive......oh It's laughable. This is him with 36 convictions for drunk and disorderly, assaults, affray, assaulting a police officer etc....numerous crisis team involvement, lost 2 tenancys, debt, doesn't work but yeah I'M the crazy one lol. They all have one thing in common.....they are cunts!!! Oh and many have narcissistic personality disorder.............

Bambamber · 02/02/2018 13:46

When my ex found out I was in a new relationship over a year after I left him, he did a lovely Facebook post claiming I was a whore with a smelly fanny. I had him blocked but a mutual friend brought it to my attention, It did give me a chuckle

SwanVests · 02/02/2018 13:50

That I’m mad. That he only stayed with me for so long because I kept threatening to kill myself if he left me. That I’d lied that I was on the pill because I was a gold digger and I wanted him to support me for the rest of his life (our child was planned for a long time). That is cheated on him while I was pregnant and he wasnt sure the baby was his which is why he didn’t see his daughter for 5 years as I refused paternity testing (he cheated on me during our entire relationship, then ran away to Thailand when ds was born).

It’s annoying because I’ve recently moved back to my home town and ex, his wife and all their cronies are there. People seem surprised I can string a sentence together without breaking down in tears so god knows what else he’s told them .

TeatimeForTheSoul · 02/02/2018 13:57

Used to work with my exBF then I moved away. Thought we had a good relationship still and would go back weekends as we were still friends and professionally linked.
Both at work one day, had a lovely telephone chat about me visiting that weekend: are you sure it’s Ok (me) ... yeah totally it’ll be lovely to see you (him) ... really? Yeah, what shall I cook (him) etc ...
He didn’t notice a friend of mine could here everything, and heard when he went back to his mates f-zing and blinding that I wouldn’t leave him alone, fed up of my clingy ness and worse. She also let me know he’d lost some money and was claiming I’d stolen it! (impossible, I was in another country FFS). This was to our professional colleagues!
Had an interesting last chat that w’end ...

flissfloss65 · 02/02/2018 14:01

This thread is so relevant for me today.

Yesterday my ds told me of a conversation he had with his dad last Saturday. His dad thinks I just live off the child maintenance, sponged off him when we were married, am lazy now. I have always worked.

He walked out when ds was six weeks old and I have always tried to be positive to ds about him. I can’t understand how he has all this pent up anger about me nearly 18 years down the line. Pisses me right off as we shielded ds from any disagreements and now he’s slagging me off to ds. Result is ds says he will distance himself from his dad.

Original poster

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 14:16

Funnily enough my ex was obsessed about me bad mouthing him to the kids. He threatened that my parents who hate him need to keep their mouth shut too.

We never have. We have ways made excuses for him. Meanwhile I'm a psycho bitch clearly...

OP posts:

handyforpicnics · 02/02/2018 19:10

I'm also a psychobitch, spookily similar to this one I'm told:

laura65988 · 08/02/2018 12:07

Where debts in both names and who's name was housing benefit in if you speak to landlord about over payment as it is ures if u had told landlord u were moving out on a set date as he accepted a benefit for u no longer living there this happened to me I phoned landlord and I got my money back I would refuse to pay this benefit back as it's a clear over payment not ures by council giving it to landlord

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