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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my ds is complaining about something that will be fine

112 replies

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:26

Ds starts a new college which is one and 15 minutes by car. His days with start at 10.30 am and finish at 16.00pm he's saying it will be draining for him and he won't cope. Aibu to think it's not that bad.

OP posts:

Whatshallidonowpeople · 21/01/2018 21:28

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:29

I feel he could be doing similar when he starts work due to our current location.

OP posts:

Leeds2 · 21/01/2018 21:30

No, not that bad at all.
Is he driving himself? Could he get the train, or bus, instead if he is worried about the driving aspect?
Will it be every day? The DC I know who are in College don't have a full timetable, and usually seem to have at least one day a week at home.

NancyJoan · 21/01/2018 21:30

Why did he even apply? What is his suggestion??

NancyJoan · 21/01/2018 21:31

My London commute used to take almost that, and for a MUCH longer day.

Jamhandprints · 21/01/2018 21:31

One and 15? If you mean one hour and 15 then that does sound exhausting. Isn't there anywhere nearer?

Pearlsaringer · 21/01/2018 21:31

Well he won’t know till he tries it. He may think differently once he makes friends.

andpeggy1 · 21/01/2018 21:31

Poor boy, I do hope you'll make him
Lunch and a flask of tea for the road, to help him cope with his ordeal

Original poster

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:32

I mean one hour and 15 minutes each way obviously that's without traffic.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 21/01/2018 21:32

There’s no way I’d commute for two and a half hours a day, it really would be exhausting. I think your son has a point.

Pearlsaringer · 21/01/2018 21:32

Is he angling to move out nearer to the college and you want him to carry on living at home?

NoSquirrels · 21/01/2018 21:33

I used to do a bus ride to sixth form college that took that long - and I needed to be in by 9 most days. Up to him, presumably?

Original poster

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:33

No he's not mentioned anything about moving. He loves where we live and has lots of friends here so I doubt he will ever want to move from here.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 21/01/2018 21:34

Is he driving? It’s a long daily commute to drive...

MsHarry · 21/01/2018 21:35

Why did he choose it then?

MrsJayy · 21/01/2018 21:36

An hour and a bit travelling jeez he is being a wuss. 1 of mine had a bus and 2 train commute to college she knew this before she applied.
assuming your son knew the distance he will be fine,

Glumglowworm · 21/01/2018 21:37

I used to travel an hour to sixth form, and did 9-5 four days a week so out the house from 7.45-6.15ish by the time I’d walked to/from the bus stop and waiting for the bus. Most of us had part time jobs on top.

Assuming the times you’ve given are his hours in college, 9.15 to 5.15 including travel time is not an unreasonably long day. If the times you’ve given include travel time then that’s barely school hours and he’s beinb ridiculous.

Plus... he chose this college! He surely knew what he was getting into?!

Unless he has SEN or health issues which make him tire easily then HIBU. I’m sure he’ll be tired the first couple of weeks, but he’ll soon get used to it.

Most jobs require more hours than that in a day. He had better get used to it!

MsHarry · 21/01/2018 21:37

If it's what he'll have to get used to given your location then he'll have to get on with it. I laughed to loud last week when I told my DDof 17 to walk to the post office 10 mins walk away to return her own asos order and she replied "But it's so far!"

WeAllHaveWings · 21/01/2018 21:38

So he’s leaving the house at 9 and getting back at 5:30, that’s completely reasonable. What is his alternative suggestion?

When I was at college I left the house at 7am and never got back until 6pm then worked 2 evenings in a pub and a Sunday morning in a supermarket. Maybe get him to a GP if he’s overly tired, does he eat healthily/exercise?

Original poster

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:38

No he will need to be there by half ten and won't leave till 16.00

OP posts:

Mummaofboys · 21/01/2018 21:39

One hour 15mins is a long commute for a student, He’s not going to be able to be a young care free teen he’s going to be knackered everyday. Why did he not choose to be local college?

grandmanotmummy · 21/01/2018 21:41

Sitting on a bus and a train is a bit different to driving. Plus the inevitable late nights doing college work and fitting in a part time job, if he has one is quite a lot for a teenager!!

Original poster

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:42

He has no job so that's not an issue in this case

OP posts:

Oldraver · 21/01/2018 21:44

Laughing my friggin head off at an hour commute being too much.

My DS used to have to get the 7.30am bus (20 minute walk to the bus first) to be able to get into Oxford for 9am. Its usual for people round here

SuperBeagle · 21/01/2018 21:46

I commuted 2+ hours each way to uni for 5 years, but I'm Australian and that sort of commute is typical here. Most people do not live on campus here, nor rent near their universities, even if their families are wealthy.

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