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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my ds is complaining about something that will be fine

112 replies

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:26

Ds starts a new college which is one and 15 minutes by car. His days with start at 10.30 am and finish at 16.00pm he's saying it will be draining for him and he won't cope. Aibu to think it's not that bad.

OP posts:

FurCoatFurKnickers · 21/01/2018 23:23

He's probably just anxious about the course and the drive there and back if it's new to him (I doubt he's familiar with the route).

Tell him to give it a chance and then decide whether to leave the course. Ignore the competitive commuting posts - just because someone's child got up at 3am and travelled 100 miles on a donkey to primary school it doesn't mean your child would cope with it.

csigeek · 21/01/2018 23:33

Poor little snowflake!
What does he expect from the real world?

Sl33pDay · 21/01/2018 23:36

Suggest he investigates car share for people who work or go to the same college. At that age I studied, worked part time and volunteered and had loads of energy. Many people commute longer and work longer. Welcome to the real world. You want something Egypt qualifications, then y have to put some effort in.

Sl33pDay · 21/01/2018 23:38

Ignore Egypt ! Some predictive text grrr

blueCanvas · 21/01/2018 23:46

I go used to got to school 7:20am to 8:00pm

lauryloo · 21/01/2018 23:49

My 2 year old manages a 2 hour round trip to her specialist nursery

We live in a pretty rural location and that’s just the norm for us unfortunately

SpaceDinosaur · 21/01/2018 23:50

To @User700800's DS

Welcome to the real world princess.

ColonelSandars · 21/01/2018 23:59

Yes it is draining and not sustainable for someone at that age..he'll be tempted to chuck it in and his heart won't be in it*

*maybe

TheFrendo · 22/01/2018 00:15

Our son leaves at 7.10 to get in for 9.00. College finishes 3.30 or 4.30, he gets back at 5 or 6.

That's a normal day and not overly onerous.

Lalliella · 22/01/2018 00:18

YANBU. HIBU. Kids round here from the age of 11 leave on the bus at 7am for school and get home 5/5.30pm. What’s he going to do if he gets a job in London with a 2 hour commute each way? He needs to grow up.

Ginkypig · 22/01/2018 00:21

I used to have leave at 7-15 to get the 7-30am bus to make it to school on time. Then get the bus home after 4 and still had work at the weekends. If I could do that as a very young teenager I'm sure he will manage, he just needs to get into the routine of it.

GrockleBocs · 22/01/2018 00:25

A 9 hour day, door to door? Presumably with a lunch break? It's as good as it's going to get for the next 50 years.
With 8 hours sleep he still gets an evening to himself and needs to get a grip.

CrochetBelle · 22/01/2018 00:32

Unless he's walking it, he needs to dry his eyes.
Welcome to the real world, princess.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 22/01/2018 00:47

I used to drive a similar distance when I went to college. It was annoying being caught in rush hour traffic but I soon learned to get up and set off earlier in order to avoid it. I used to love the drive - I'd have one of my favourite cds on and would sing along at the top of my voice.

How is he not going to have any time to himself? Most adults work much longer hours and with fewer holidays, many are further away from their place of work and most come home to look after their children and then do all the household chores. It probably won't get much easier for him than it is now!

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/01/2018 00:55

DD's uni is an hour away and she is doing medical training with all the shif twork etc that that implies. She moved to a shared house over the road from the hospital despite not wanting to move because something had to give. She didnt whine about it.

Offer to take him shopping for some big girl pants

crunchymint · 22/01/2018 00:56

I am more shocked at those commenting on the thread that he is right

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/01/2018 00:58

He will be tired at first and the drive will take getting used to.

MyDcAreMarvel · 22/01/2018 01:04

He is being pathetic. My 12 year old dd leaves the house at 7am to catch two buses to school. ( rather than going to the rubbish one twenty minutes away) She gets to school at 8am, and has her breakfast, school starts at 8.30.

parklives · 22/01/2018 01:06

Ok, it's a longish commute....but what's he suggesting as an alternative?
Is there a nearer college, does he want to get a job instead?
What's the plan b? stay at home rent free playing computer games, with mum doing meals and laundry and paying for his phone and anything else he wants.

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 22/01/2018 01:10

My ds is as college, has to be in before 9 and walks 1 hour to school.
Being in a car means protection from the elements and listening to loud music for an hour. Many would be jealous.

RhodaBorrocks · 22/01/2018 01:31

Being in a car means protection from the elements and listening to loud music for an hour. Many would be jealous.

That's the best part of my commute to be honest. My DS doesn't like loud music, I like my ears to bleed.

OP, do share with us what his suggested alternative is. Does he want to get a job? Because he could find himself out of the house longer that way. Or is it as parklives suggested? Because I had a cousin like that and he was still sponging off his Mum in his thirties . Or is it just anxiety over the whole "not being a child any more" thing? Because I can understand that and still have moments even though I'm mid thirties now.

Whatever it is, he's got to suck it up and make it work the best he can. What is he studying at college?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/01/2018 01:32

What utter bastards moving the college!

🤣😂

Seriously, why the hell did he apply? He won’t be leaving until 9 & will be home at 6, presumably doesn’t have kids to sort out, but feels he will have no time to himself? Fucking hell, he needs to take a peak at the real world.

Pinga · 22/01/2018 01:35

Poor diddums.
My son will start 6th form in September - will need to walk 3 miles/one hour to get there by 9. Finish at 3 or 5. One hour walk home. He will manage just fine.

lostpigeon · 22/01/2018 01:37

really...really is this real??

ObscuredbyFog · 22/01/2018 01:40

On top of the one and a quarter hour car journey each way, His days with start at 10.30 am and finish at 16.00pm

So less lunch break and tea breaks, he'll be listening to teachers for about 4 whole hours per day. Oh poor kid, how could you let him strain himself to do that five days per week OP.

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