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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my ds is complaining about something that will be fine

112 replies

User700800 · 21/01/2018 21:26

Ds starts a new college which is one and 15 minutes by car. His days with start at 10.30 am and finish at 16.00pm he's saying it will be draining for him and he won't cope. Aibu to think it's not that bad.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/01/2018 01:40

Is this the right time for references to my FIL down a pit at 14? I always wonder when the right time for going on about the youth of today is...

thebewilderness · 22/01/2018 01:51

How bad the commute is often a matter of traffic rather than time. My eldest just changed shifts working the same place and his commute time went down by a small amount but his commute stress dropped like a stone because the traffic is now so light.

thebewilderness · 22/01/2018 01:56

It probably will not be as bad as his anxiety is telling him it will. I hope not.

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/01/2018 04:42

2.5 hours of driving each day is quite a bit. If I had a job with that kind of commute I would be wondering about changing either where I live, where I work or how I get there. It's 12.5 hours out of "good" time out of his week - that's two nights of sleep for me, so I don't see it as insignificant. But if that's what he has to do, it's what he has to do and many people do do that, or worse. It will only be for a few years, so he'll just need to suck it up unless he can find somewhere to live nearer or someone to share the commute with.

Wallywobbles · 22/01/2018 04:55

Sorry he's being pathetic. Our kids leave at 7 back at 7. School day is 8 til 6 and an hour commute. Been doing this since the youngest was 7. It's pretty normal in France. Half days on Wednesday.

elsmokoloco · 22/01/2018 05:13

Maybe he should take advantage of commute for revision, or social media so that when he actually gets home he studies. He's getting to the time in his life where he needs to start making adult decisions, and long commutes to college/University/Workplace are part of that transition for many people. He is being a bit whiney but he will just have to suck it up or go elsewhere.

FrancisCrawford · 22/01/2018 05:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/01/2018 05:51

Maybe he should take advantage of commute for revision, or social media If he's commuting by car I assume that means he's driving? If so - please do not encourage him to use social media while driving!

elsmokoloco · 22/01/2018 06:46

Sorry BoomBoomsCousin I didn't take it that the commute was the OP's DS driving himself to College., OP was asked a number of times by PP if her DS was driving, but did not directly respond. Obviously, if he is driving then My previous post in not applicable. Comment on attitude applies regardless.

Idontdowindows · 22/01/2018 06:54

It will be draining, I'm sure, But such is life. His choices are move closer to college or choose a closer college.

He can think of it as a sacrifice he's making to get the education he wants.

CrochetBelle · 22/01/2018 08:27

Does he want you/someone to drive him? Is that what he expected when he applied to the college?
Or is he hinting for a car?

Original poster

User700800 · 22/01/2018 13:34

No he will be driving himself no way he can get public transport

OP posts:

babybubblescomingsoon · 22/01/2018 13:37

So leave home at 9, back for 5.30? I would love a day with those times.

MrsJayy · 22/01/2018 13:57

What do you expect your son to do? This is where he has chosen to study and it is 6pm he gets in hardly late if you are rural then this is 1 of the pitfalls stuff is far away

FluffyWuffy100 · 22/01/2018 13:59

I think that is a lot of driving for a young driver actually. Very different to commuting by train/bus/walking.

2h30 of driving every day could be draining, especially depending on the types of roads. Also expensive on petrol!

MrsJayy · 22/01/2018 14:00

Urgh meant what did your son expect

FluffyWuffy100 · 22/01/2018 14:01

So leave home at 9, back for 5.30? I would love a day with those times.

You work I assume? When you were at school and uni I bet you weren't out of the house more than that.

glitterbiscuits · 22/01/2018 14:05

We live in the middle of nowhere my children leave the house at 7.40 am to get the bus to school, that takes over an hour to 15 miles, then the same back again and they are in at 4.50.

They’ve had to do this since they were 11!

Drainedandconfused · 22/01/2018 14:12

It is a long commute but I’m sure he will be fine, my DD used to do an hours commute each way to college on a moped, she survived.

babybubblescomingsoon · 22/01/2018 14:14

fluffy I wish. I've always had crazy communtes. I'm from the countryside so nowhere was nearby. Eventually I had to leave home at 14 to go to a boarding school because I lived so far away from any good opportunities. I wish I could have commuted for 1h15m each way!

SendintheArdwolves · 22/01/2018 14:17

Look, whether or not some people would find that a long commute and others used to hop sixteen miles to attend school in a disused mine shaft, etc isn't the point - what does your son propose as a solution?

Is he suggesting attending a different college, moving closer to it, staying over in the week, or what? Does he expect you to magic up a solution without any input from him,. or his he sincerely asking for helpful suggestions and support?

Or is he just having a whinge but doesn't really want things to be any different?

FrancisCrawford · 22/01/2018 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carefreeeee · 22/01/2018 17:15

It's too far IMO. Different if it was public transport but that much driving is tiring, bad for the environment, and quite possibly dangerous depending on what he's like.

But surely it's up to him to decide what he wants to do? If he is desperate to go to that college for whatever reason, it might be worth it. If he can do something else instead more locally/move closer to the college of choice/think of some other option himself, you should let him do that instead

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 22/01/2018 17:24

Sorry but this is ridiculous. He'll be fine!!! It's not exactly an early start. Is he a snowflake about much else?

Pinga · 24/01/2018 01:54

How will he cope in the workplace if this is too much of a struggle for him?
I know of loads of secondary age school kids who leave at 7 30/8 every morning and not back till 5 or 6..

As for free time - well thats what evenings and weekends are for.

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