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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband said he would be back at 8pm - AIBU?

255 replies

Abcd12345 · 20/12/2017 00:23

As he left for work this morning my husband said he would be back a little later (around 8pm) as he was going for a drink. It's now midnight, i have heard nothing from him and he is still not back nor is he answering texts or calls.

Most times he goes out he does this eventually rolling in drunk after getting the last train. It does my head in! Not so much the coming in much later than he said, more the not answering my calls. As I have no idea if he is okay. He then gets annoyed by me being annoyed.....

So who is BU? He genuinely believes I am but it's him, right? Would love to know what other people think.

OP posts:
SisterLocation · 20/12/2017 01:47

The night watch are going to be busy Xmas Grin

BulletFox · 20/12/2017 01:47

Oh they were addressing you Shoes, haha, I thought they were getting lyrical!

You've obviously bonded :)

ShoesHaveSouls · 20/12/2017 01:48

BulletFox Grin

Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 01:48

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bigsexywalker · 20/12/2017 01:49

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ShoesHaveSouls · 20/12/2017 01:49

I really shouldn't play with them, should I? It's just so easy though. My 9yr old is harder to argue with than them.

Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 01:50

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ShoesHaveSouls · 20/12/2017 01:51

I have reported them - they're spamming the boards. Obviously nothing better to so - go to sleep boys. Now! Santa's watching....

laudanum · 20/12/2017 01:52

On dear. Replies to this thread are what happens when men are left unsupervised. Someone fetch the tranq darts.

happymummy12345 · 20/12/2017 01:52

I agree op.
Once my dh said he was going out with a close friend for a few drinks. He told me he wouldn't be late. I of course had no problem at all with this and I said I wouldn't disturb him at all. I only asked him to let me know he was okay at some point during the evening, and to let me know when he was on his way home, which I didn't think was unreasonable.
I didn't hear from him. Eventually about 4am I got a text from the partner of one of the men he was with, saying that dh and his mate had met up with more friends (said text came from a girlfriend of one of them) and that he would be home soon.
He finally turned up, out of it. I had to put him to bed.
I was more annoyed that I had no idea he was okay than how late it was and how drunk he was. My dh didn't understand the issue. I explained that I had no idea where he was or even if he was okay, and that was the big problem.
So no I don't think you are being unreasonable.

Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 01:53

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BulletFox · 20/12/2017 01:55

Aww, yerma and shoes loves one another then therapy. Pronto.

ShoesHaveSouls · 20/12/2017 01:55

Good luck with that yermapants.

Now - lights out, I said. You'll be all grumpy in the morning.

Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 01:57

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Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 01:57

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laudanum · 20/12/2017 01:58

With reference to the actual post - an ex of mine would do this. This was pre mobile phone, so when he wouldn't stop being an inconsiderate wanksock, (he was also a violent drunk) i up and left, but very kindly filled the locks with superglue, along with gluing the doors to all the kitchen appliances shut.

ShoesHaveSouls · 20/12/2017 01:58

It's pants, yerma, you know it, I know it.

paxillin · 20/12/2017 01:58

Probably can't walk in this state, the bigsexywalker. Not very sexy, either.

OP, YANBU. I would get pissed off with the lies. He needs to tell you if he means 2am.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2017 01:59

The problem I have always had with this type of thing, and the reason why I always check in myself, is because it leaves the other person unsure of when to worry.

Is he out on the lash and being a complete selfish prick or is he dead in a gutter? You dont know. But the reply is inevitably " I was fine, whats the problem?!" and they refuse to acknowledge that you didnt know that at the 0time

I wonder what his reaction would be if the OP did the same. In fact I dont wonder, I know.

Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 01:59

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ShoesHaveSouls · 20/12/2017 02:00

Sure you will sweetie.

BulletFox · 20/12/2017 02:00

Pyong, I think this thread has moved on slightly...

Yermawpunts · 20/12/2017 02:03

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paxillin · 20/12/2017 02:04

Not sure OP was keen on it "moving on" to teenage pissheads.

BulletFox · 20/12/2017 02:05

Ooh, scrapping?? LOVE a bit of it!

Now you're talking, I'm getting soooo excited!