Can we start a CF Christmas thread?

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Because:

I need some light relief

I'll start. DS (nc now) once texted me on Christmas Eve to tell me (not ask) that her and DN were coming for Christmas...and staying for three weeks!

There was a list of instructions with the text, including:

I'll be sleeping in your room, and you, DH and DN can all share with DD, because I've had him all year alone and need a break. (She actually told me she was giving me a chance to prove that I was a better aunty than a sister!)

There'll be none of that (insert horrible racist word beginnig with P) shit that you normally cook. I'm allergic to hot food.

DN wakes up at 5.30. He needs breakfast within a half hour of waking, or else he won't be able to poo later in the day.

I need picking up at 6.00 at the latest, so you can give him tea.

Then she had the nerve to text DH and tell him I'd agreed to it, and she was ready to be collected! DH left work, and it wasn't until I'd been waiting in the rain for him to pick me up as arranged, and called him, that I dound out he was halfway to where she lived! (30 miles from us).

I'd just ignored the text.

He came straight back, I sent a "lol, dream on!" text, cue months- MONTHS- of PA fbk statuses about family not being everything, etc, etc...

Anyone else?

I don't have one but bloody hell op. Who on earth does your sister think she is?

She sounds like a nasty piece of work.

At school someone who didn't like me found out I got them their secret santa present (a voucher) and ripped it up in front of me. I didn't care but just thought what was the actual point in that? In fact, I don't know whether they were being a CF or just plain horrible.

You couldn't make it up! Actually, I'm bloody lucky that I have several threads/posts about my fucked up "family", as it sounds as if it IS made up, it's that unbelievable!

Mission 🌷

Wow OP that's a hard act to follow! Can't think why you are NC!

I can't beat the OP, but many years ago when I was a child, my dad had promised his friend on the friend's deathbed that my dad would always take care of dying friend's widow. Fast forward to every christmas: dad would drive to collect widow, bring her back to where mum had turfed kids out of bedroom so friend's could have it (we all slept on inflatable lilos on parents' bedroom floor). Friend's wife would generally stay around 5 days over the christmas holidays.
She wasn't a bad person but she always arrived empty-handed, every year. Wouldn't you have thought she would have brought something with her , just for a gesture?

who ffs!

I have a "family" now (apart from DH and the DC) and none are relates by blood...I just sort of adopted them along the way! 😅

NONE of them are CFs!

DB who spends Christmas with us transfers cash into my accound on Dec 1st- whether I like it or not!- to cover food, electricity, whatever. I'd happily host him for free!

Some people are just born entitled I think!

I nominate the poster whose SIL demanded that the poster and her spouse (the SIL's brother) give her kids only cash for Christmas.

Blimey! The Great Dictator! Horrendous controlling behaviour.

OP I remember your thread about the person who wanted you to babysit her kids at your own birthday party - was that your sister or another CF?

Punk who, me?

That was another CF!

Thank goodness you managed to get hold of your husband!

Why on earth didn't he check with you?

Wow that's some impressive cheeky fuckery OP.

Nothing as impressive as that here I'm afraid, but I have twice been the person that ended up without a present when doing secret santa. And I felt as awkward as hell sat both times with other people all opening and cooing at their secret santa gifts, and people going 'ohh what did you get?' and me awkwardly explaining that I'd got nothing. I later found out there were genuine reasons behind both times (once because the person drawn to buy for me had been on holiday when the secret santa had been announced and drawn, and never saw the note telling her she had a secret santa gift to buy; and one time was because the person drawn to buy for me had been ill on the day that we were due to bring our secret santa gifts in). But overall I've decided not to bother with secret santa anymore after several other occasions of me picking really personal gifts for the person I'm buying for (books tailored to their interests etc) and getting a token box of toiletries / chocolate / wine in return that had obviously had zero thought put in.

He didn't really get the whole fucked-up-family thing...he comes from a typical two-up-two-down household (must be one of the few people on here who's pil are a dream!) and it's normal for him for sisters to drop in unannounced!

He's sort of... @Pretenditsaplan help!...uncomplicated? He'd see no reason to doubt it?

No - your sister. I can fully relate to screwed-up families. Poor you.

Ooh, actually, don't know if this counts as CF, but one of my other DS's would demand that I video the kids saying "Merry Christmas" to her, and post it on her fb timeline (complete with #bestaunty #loveyou and #shitlikethat #hashtags.

She never even sent a card.

Then used to slag DB off for buying them expensive gifts because "that's not his place, he's trying to buy a family"

That was actually the comment that made me go NC with her too...DB may not be blood, but he's saved my life (literally) and I wouldn't be without him.

Punk ohhhh! I thought I'd upset you with the "give me some stories and cheer me up NOW" nature of the thread!

Feel like a benk now! 😅

Mines quite tame compared to the OP. A girl joined my team at work a few years ago and she looked familiar. Her sister was the biggest bi@ch I had ever met and was always horrible to me previously (had a mutual friend) for no reason. Realising who she was related to, I was a bit wary of this new employee, but she was really lovely. Until we got to Xmas and we did secret Santa as a team. She got me and I had to open (in front of everyone) £10 worth of Poundland presents. I have nothing against Poundland, or the cost but she had purposely picked the most hideous things ever such as a brown tartan umbrella, a manicure set with the scissors missing etc. I thought I was being paranoid but then she said to me with a big smile "do you like them? My sister and I went shopping together and she chose most of it" "She thought you would like it, Merry Christmas from both of us". I had a fixed smile and kept me cool. It was all very passive aggressive and odd!

Fuck a moose! Did the nice sister know what the horrible sister was up to?

My parents have a very different attitude to Christmas now we're adults. My mum likes to buy incredibly eccentric gifts (think large, frequently substantially ugly carbuncles that are actually difficult to transport). My dad likes to give us a cheque to spend on experiences. They do both, and all presents come from them jointly. (For what it's worth, my sister and I both try hard to buy them expensive things that they want but would never break their frugality to buy even though they can afford them)

My mum does all the wrapping, stocking filling and everything else (and obviously makes a massive fuss of doing so even though everyone would actually be quite happy to do their share).

A couple of years ago, she 'didn't pay attention' when she was labeling and buying presents. We start unwrapping gifts under the tree, which is a bit of a free for all, passing presents to people as they're found. Present for my sister. Present for my sister. Present for my sister. Present for my dad. And so on. Until eventually I find one for me. It carries on. More things for my sister. My dad. My boyfriend. Sister's husband.

Steadily my dad and sister realise what's happened. I'm sitting almost crying in the corner whilst a pile of presents accumulate around other people. My sister passes off one of her presents as mine. My dad goes to get an emergency cash present for me.

My mum was still completely oblivious. She has several screws missing when it comes to things like this, and I think it would be fair to say that I am actually her favourite child (sounds arrogant, but there's a massively complicated story and dynamics etc to go into, as there always is with messed up families, and I definitely handle her MH problems better than the others). She brushed it off as 'oh it's very complicated and I'm so busy around Christmas' etc etc. As if we all aren't, and I've never seen anyone else mistakenly buy about twenty presents for one person and leave the other with hardly anything!

I think she did 😐. The sister (who didn't work with me) was sooo horrible and they are a really close family and so I was really wary as l thought she must be a bi@ch too! But as she was so nice in work I sort of relaxed and thought she was lovely until true colours were shown at secret Santa time.

I hate secret santa. I always put thought and effort in, and get shite. The worst was one year we had a £10 limit, and I got a tatty old what's on at the cinema guide that was for a few years previous. MyDCs were very young at the time and I certainly had no time for going to the cinema anyway. I put it straight into the recycling bin. Since then I haven't taken part, and given the money to a foodbank instead.

See, I would have actually had even less respect for the "nice" sister there...at least NuggetFeatures never hid how she felt about you under pretend niceness!

I've taken over cooking the Christmas Meal due to host being at death's door (hungover). I had a backseat driver in the kitchen all morning - don't use those pans, that's enough carrots, don't use that knife, smaller slices, turn it down, stir it, stir it, not that spoon. Sheer Hell!

Then she took credit for all the cooking and told everyone I hadn't done enough carrots!