Because:
I need some light relief
I'll start. DS (nc now) once texted me on Christmas Eve to tell me (not ask) that her and DN were coming for Christmas...and staying for three weeks!
There was a list of instructions with the text, including:
I'll be sleeping in your room, and you, DH and DN can all share with DD, because I've had him all year alone and need a break. (She actually told me she was giving me a chance to prove that I was a better aunty than a sister!)
There'll be none of that (insert horrible racist word beginnig with P) shit that you normally cook. I'm allergic to hot food.
DN wakes up at 5.30. He needs breakfast within a half hour of waking, or else he won't be able to poo later in the day.
I need picking up at 6.00 at the latest, so you can give him tea.
Then she had the nerve to text DH and tell him I'd agreed to it, and she was ready to be collected! DH left work, and it wasn't until I'd been waiting in the rain for him to pick me up as arranged, and called him, that I dound out he was halfway to where she lived! (30 miles from us).
I'd just ignored the text.
He came straight back, I sent a "lol, dream on!" text, cue months- MONTHS- of PA fbk statuses about family not being everything, etc, etc...
Anyone else?