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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fireworks at home - who should ‘win’?

143 replies

handsfree · 03/11/2017 16:41

I love an organised display as much as the next person, but HATE fireworks at home. I think it’s dangerous, not nice for neighbours, not nice for pets, but mostly, it’s dangerous!!

Dh always had fireworks at home when he was a kid, it’s a very fond memory for him. He has just got back from work with a load of fireworks in his boot. We have two children, 6 and 3, and he is keen to put a display in in the garden for him. He knows how I feel about it but apparently thought I just ‘wasn’t a fan’ rather than being vehemently against it.

Now he’s saying why should he not get to do this as it’s a lovely memory for him just because I don’t like it (I didn’t actually say he couldn’t do it, just reiterated how strongly I feel about it) So we both feel very strongly about this but in completely opposite directions....... who gets to choose?!?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 03/11/2017 16:43

Personally I am with you completely and actually would fully support a ban on unlicensed firework use.

Is your garden big enough to safely set them off as per the instructions? If not I would certainly put my foot down.

Mia1415 · 03/11/2017 16:43

I don't have an answer but just want to say I feel the same as you about fireworks at home. They terrify me.

That1950sMum · 03/11/2017 16:43

As he's already bought them I'd say he may as well get his own way this year. I completely agree with you though.

PurpleMinionMummy · 03/11/2017 16:45

I agree with you. Watch them from a window as a compromise?

Betsybackwater · 03/11/2017 16:46

Having EXACTLY the same row here. It’s raining here at the moment so even the weather on my side but even still he’s all gung ho to go set them off. Am v grumpy

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/11/2017 16:47

Well I completely agree with you and glad to see that there's someone else who sees how annoying they are for everyone around. As for dangerous, I only learned today that even handling them unlit can harm you, apparently the chemicals in them can lead to liver damage! Anyway, I digress. I think that if the kids can go to an organised event, then that is more than a fair compromise. If anything, the quality would be far better, plus there's food treats and sometimes even a fair. I'd rather that than a home effort that requires running in and out every few minutes. Could you not sell it to him like that?

handsfree · 03/11/2017 16:47

sirzy yes our garden is big enough

OP posts:
Cavender · 03/11/2017 16:47

Where I live private displays are banned (although it’s due to fire risk not safety)

Compromise, on this occasion, and have the children watch them from the window.

strawberrypenguin · 03/11/2017 16:48

Fireworks should be banned unless at an organised display. Yanbu.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 03/11/2017 16:48

I am emergency services. Colleagues in the fire and ambulance services are very clear that home fireworks displays are a liability. Personally I think their stupid, selfish she should be illegal - go to a public display with proper safety provision rather than risking injury to yourself and those around you! The number of A&E attendances each year with burns around Nov 5th is ridiculous.

Insomnibrat · 03/11/2017 16:49

Whereas I do understand your concerns in every aspect I have to say I also have some fantastic memories of fireworks with my Mum and Dad in the garden as a nipper. Very special and exciting, although I wonder if a 3yo might be a bit scared.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 03/11/2017 16:49

*they’re, arg!

Keepithidden · 03/11/2017 16:50

We have a home firework display in a postage stamp size garden. DS gets scared by big bangs and we have cats too!

So I get the small garden boxes, they've got fountains, roman candles etc. And no noisy fireworks. Perfect for us, could you not see what he actually has got?

RedHelenB · 03/11/2017 16:50

YABU as long as he follows the firework code .

ILookedintheWater · 03/11/2017 16:53

Yes to this year, with kids inside French doors for safety.
Also attend a professional display (one with hot dogs and roasted chestnuts, bonfire toffee, all the trimmings etc) . Ask the children which one they prefer. Next year do that one only..

Insomnibrat · 03/11/2017 16:53

I agree with a pp, maybe go through the box and agree to let a few of the 'smaller' ones off, fizzers and fountains, that sort of thing. Then agree none next year.

IFellDownAHole · 03/11/2017 16:53

Oh I love a fireworks display in the garden. We live in a close of 4 houses and every year we all club together and do a big display. We always tell the houses in the next road though. There’s one woman who doesn’t like it as apparently it frightens her cat. As her cat shits in my garden and in my dc’s sandpit all year I consider it payback.

We are all very sensible though, we do it in next doors field and the kids watch from the house.

Floralnomad · 03/11/2017 16:55

Now they are bought I’d let him do them . We are not a family of firework fans but when the dc were small we always had them in my mums huge garden with us all stood in the conservatory . Usually the dc had wandered off before he’d finished .

SilverSpot · 03/11/2017 16:56

I'm with you OP there shouldn't be a place for at home fireworks (I love love love seeing big public displays).

However if it is just the safety can you have your children inside at a window to watch?

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer · 03/11/2017 16:58

I think the sale of fireworks to gen public should be banned. Organised firework displays only.
I love fireworks and love going to a display but I think setting fireworks off in a residential area is massively irresponsible.

I witnessed a firework at someone’s home go rouge and shoot someone in the stomach. The man was ok but it could have been so much more serious. I’ve nearly had a firework go into my car as I was driving past kids on two separate occasions.

Furgggggg12 · 03/11/2017 17:00

Gosh people are really bloody selfish sometimes.

Agree with you OP.

BusterTheBulldog · 03/11/2017 17:01

I agree with you op, but I have lovely memories of fireworks in our back garden when I was little. It’s a tough one.

HashiAsLarry · 03/11/2017 17:04

A long time ago I was very nearly hit by a firework that hadn't been grounded properly (probably wrong term). That was one rated as an appropriate distance, and it did some bad damage to the door it eventually hit.

There's a potential compromise that the dc could watch from an upstairs window and he could let some small ones off in the garden. Obviously for me that wouldn't be a compromise I'd be willing to risk, but thankfully my DH accepts I only want the dc at organised displays.

Lethaldrizzle · 03/11/2017 17:04

I'm not a big fan of fire works but as he's already bought them seems a bit if a shame for him not to use them . Invite the neighbours!

Sirzy · 03/11/2017 17:05

I don’t think they “do it as he has already got them” idea works very well personally.