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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fireworks at home - who should ‘win’?

143 replies

handsfree · 03/11/2017 16:41

I love an organised display as much as the next person, but HATE fireworks at home. I think it’s dangerous, not nice for neighbours, not nice for pets, but mostly, it’s dangerous!!

Dh always had fireworks at home when he was a kid, it’s a very fond memory for him. He has just got back from work with a load of fireworks in his boot. We have two children, 6 and 3, and he is keen to put a display in in the garden for him. He knows how I feel about it but apparently thought I just ‘wasn’t a fan’ rather than being vehemently against it.

Now he’s saying why should he not get to do this as it’s a lovely memory for him just because I don’t like it (I didn’t actually say he couldn’t do it, just reiterated how strongly I feel about it) So we both feel very strongly about this but in completely opposite directions....... who gets to choose?!?

OP posts:

piglover · 03/11/2017 21:51

If you live in a city, people are going to hear the bangs from organised displays - it can be bloody loud where I used to live in London - so I don't see that the "what about scaring people with the noise" argument is particularly valid. Compromise and let them watch from the window - my parents were the same, with my dad wanting to light them for me and my mum being mortally terrified of them, and that's what we did.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 03/11/2017 21:53

I'm with you OP, however I'd ban them completely. When I was a kid fireworks happened on November 5th, regardless of what day of the week it was. So you knew that for that night only you needed to keep your pet inside. Now it's every bloody night round here for at least 2 weeks either side of November 5th. I've spent the last few evenings trying to comfort a nervous, trembling cat. I wouldn't mind so much if I thought it would stop after this weekend is over but I know it won't

scottishdiem · 03/11/2017 22:00

I enjoyed these with my family in the backgarden when I was young but my dad was hyper vigilant for safety and I am not sure I would feel that confident doing it myself. But it is a good memory and one that I would like to pass on in the exceptionally unlikely event I have kids.

Perhaps suggest year about OP? This year, yes. Next year no. etc.

MinorRSole · 03/11/2017 22:01

I don’t consider myself a whinyarse at all but i absolutely think firework displays should be arranged only by people who know what they are doing.

Selling them to members of the public, and lets face it some people really don’t have the sense they were born with, is not a wise move.

Dh wanted to do our own display, I said absolutely no way, it’s not worth the risk or the expense when there are amazing ones close by that are free to watch. I love the atmosphere of organised displays too, it’s all part of it

MinorRSole · 03/11/2017 22:04

Hundreds of people are killed or seriously injured by fucking cars,

Not sure what your point is. People need to be taught to drive and licensed to do so. That’s not comparable with bob down the road popping into tesco for a big box of explosives

ReanimatedSGB · 03/11/2017 23:18

Most people who buy fireworks for use at home have an enjoyable time and no one gets so much as singed. Even having lessons and a license doesn't stop a lot of people driving like dicks and having accidents.

Stupid people always want to ban others' enjoyment because boohoo, waah, occasionally there's an accident. People get killed falling out of fucking bed. You cannot protect yourself/your family from everything, and the current type of apocalyptically precious parenting is doing kids no good at all: they grow up unable to assess risk and dangerously trusting of 'authority'.

MinorRSole · 04/11/2017 00:00

So people who don’t agree with you are stupid?
Your arguments are so utterly random I don’t know where to begin so I’m going to carry on watching the good doctor and leave you to your disproportionate reactions

5foot5 · 04/11/2017 00:00

Another one here with your DH.

neddle · 04/11/2017 00:04

We had to scatter when one fell over before going off in a large back garden. My sil had my 2yo on her lap sat next to me. It went between us and we dived sideways. I don't want to imagine what could have happened to us.
We've never done garden fireworks since. It's not worth the risk.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 04/11/2017 00:06

I fully support their ban. The way my garden is along the length of my garden I have the ends of 4 other gardens. Meaning gardens 1 and 2 let off their fireworks right by my back door. I hate it.

safariboot · 04/11/2017 00:18

While I shan't be having fireworks this year because our garden's overgrown, we've greatly enjoyed having our own in the past. Without a car getting to a display often wasn't practical, it was fireworks at home or no fireworks for us.

I accept they pose risks but so do a lot of things. I got a nasty burn off a soldering iron at school - should soldering be removed from the syllabus? Nearly a million Brits go skiing every year, some of those come back with broken legs or worse.

That said with DCs aged 3 and 6 you're right to be extra-concerned about safety. Only you know if either of them would be likely to suddenly run into the danger zone. And check the distances, a lot of fireworks you're supposed to be 25 metres away and many gardens aren't big enough. YANBU to say that you won't be having fireworks at home this year.

JaniceBattersby · 04/11/2017 00:37

I’m with your DH. As long as he hasn’t bought ridiculously outrageous fireworks then a home display is great. Kids behind the patio doors, jacket potatoes, cinder toffee. No driving round and round trying to find somewhere to park, no queuing for toilets, no moaning for candy floss or those ridiculous light up flashing toys.

If neighbours don’t keep their pets indoors in a safe place on the weekend of bonfire night then they really don’t deserve to have pets. And honestly, it’s to be expected that people will let off fireworks this weekend.

My neighbors don’t seem to give a shit that my kids step in their cats’ poo all over my lawn, drag it through my house where it transfers to my crawling baby’s hands. Nor do they care that their massive Rottweiler jumping up at my son and knocking him over (he was ‘just playing’ apparently) has given him a phobia of dogs. So I’m not really that bothered about upsetting them really. The huge organised display in my village will be much louder than my display.

GrockleBocs · 04/11/2017 00:59

DH who is extremely sensible will do a small display whilst the dc watch, probably indoors. One has ASD and is a liability at large events. We've tried organised displays and it hasn't gone well.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 04/11/2017 01:33

I love fireworks, I always loved home displays, however last year we went to DH's friends house and frankly friends idea of firework safety was fucking ridiculous and made me really angry - drinking, not having any sort of marker of where was a safe distance (with young children there) he even tried gaffa taping 3 rockets together, there were 15 adults there and I was apparently the only one with an issue with any of this, which tells you a lot about how some of these accidents happen.

Is your DH sensible OP and does he know what he is doing?

Lilmisskittykat · 04/11/2017 01:43

I agree with you fireworks in a garden is dangerous. I used to live in a terrace with small yards next door but one to me set them off was like being in a war.

He also burnt a friends face that same night which brought it to an abrupt stop - my dog was grateful as was I.

I would strongly support non sale to the general public

HelenaDove · 04/11/2017 01:46

Janice that is the fault of the owners yet you seem to think its fair for the animals to pay for their sins.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 04/11/2017 02:04

There are compromises though, as ever. Low noise/no noise ones. Small ones that are garden fence height.

We will have some of these ^^ with a couple of hot dogs each, baked potatoes, shiver outside for an hour at 7.00 p.m ish, and done until next year.

Massive fireworks, loud ones, whatever, I agree. Organised displays only.

wizzler · 04/11/2017 07:59

I am with you OP. My brother was burned when he was young by a firework and having visited him on a burns ward , I still can’t bear them 40 years later.

DB was injured the day after fireworks night when he was mucking about with the spent fireworks he found in the garden in the embers of the fire.

DH and I discussed it when our own DC were small and decided that a blanket ban on fireworks would make them more mysterious and desirable to them,so we have had a couple of home displays in the past and I stood with clenched fists watching them.

For those of you who have home displays this year, please double check the garden for dead fireworks the morning after..

GherkinSnatch · 04/11/2017 08:05

We always tell the houses in the next road though. There’s one woman who doesn’t like it as apparently it frightens her cat. As her cat shits in my garden and in my dc’s sandpit all year I consider it payback.

^ Fucking awful behaviour.

Organised displays only. Fireworks are too often used antisocially - last year I had to phone the police because there were kids throwing fireworks into the road in front of cars on the main road near our house. SIL has to give her dogs valium for almost a week in the evenings because the poor gets are terrified of the bangs, and you can't predict when they're going to happen.

RaeCJ82 · 04/11/2017 14:06

We do a lot of things everyday that involve risk. Shall we get rid of cars because they cause injury and death? How about sharp knives? People cut themselves everyday whilst cooking.
I do agree that professional style, display fireworks should not be available to the public but the Standard brand fireworks should be available from authorised outlets with strict age control.
I honestly believe that a lot of injuries will be caused by people not following instructions on the box, using lighters and matches to set them off instead of the taper provided, standing too near them, going back to them when they don’t go off and not pointing them away from people. I’m not saying that’s the case for all injuries before I get jumped on.

PovertyPain · 04/11/2017 14:12

There really are some selfish pps on this thread. Would any of you like to sit in my house, next year and comfort my dogs and cats, as they shiver with fear? It's ok, if you don't want to do that, you can sit with my youngest, with SN as she hides under a blanket, with her hands over her ear defenders. Sure it's only once a year, it's not like they won't forget about it, yeah, fucking right. 😒

Pengggwn · 04/11/2017 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IFellDownAHole · 04/11/2017 14:51

The people with pets that are scared of fireworks - if you’re prewarned is it ok? I would’ve thought if people keep it just to 5th Nov then it’s just something that’s expected when you buy a pet.

As I said earlier, we tell everyone nearby we’re doing it. Non- pet owners have to put up with having cats in their gardens. I just consider it fair payment for all the shit I scoop out of dc’s sandpit. And we live in a hamlet with 10 houses and only one cat so I know whose car it is. The display only ever lasts about 15 minutes anyway.

PovertyPain · 04/11/2017 15:29

You seriously think it's alright to terrify a poor cat because it shits in your garden and you don't like the owner? Wow! I can understand your annoyance at the shit, but fuck me, you really take to the next level. As for pre warning pet owners, do you think everything will be ok, if we just explain to the pets, what's happening? 😒 What about my youngest, should I just hand her back, as I know she's going to be frightened if the noise? If you don't get it, I don't think any amount of explanation will educate you and other pps whose desire for self gratification outweighs the rights of others to peace and quiet.

Evelynismyspyname · 04/11/2017 17:50

I do hope the pet owners prizing their right to peace and quiet don't have barky dogs...

It does seem to go only one way with some pet owners...

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