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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who here BU out of us

87 replies

DammitAllNamesAreTaken · 06/10/2017 00:12

DCs 7th birthday coming up soon

I will try to give each persons view without giving details on who said it.

Person 1
Last year Child had lots of presents to open over Christmas from us totalling around £100 including a medium Lego set, pyjamas, and a few other bits)
Lego set for 6th birthday from us
From family - Computer game, board games, money which goes in bank
Throughout year has had various gifts- fidget spinners, toy car, football, football team plaque, a few Lego purchases including base plate and the cup where you pick n mix

Has a meal out in a chain restaurant roughly every two weeks with dessert such as ice cream and gets biscuits or chocolate once a week
Goes on holidays and days out
Is spoilt due to the above

Person 2
Wants to buy a Nintendo switch
Thinks DC doesn't get a value / big presents in year apart from xmas and birthdays
At DCs age - they don't understand the logistics around going to work and paying for things
Child doesn't actually ask for big presents

OP posts:
blackteasplease · 06/10/2017 00:18

The information you give wouldn't make a child spoilt. A big present like that is fine if you can afford it

I'm assuming you are person 2

Hisnamesblaine · 06/10/2017 00:20

Don't get it?

2littlemoos · 06/10/2017 00:21

I don't think it is unreasonable but if you can afford it and I'm sure DC would get enjoyment from it then it's a nice idea.

I received similar gifts as a child and still understood my dad had worked hard to afford these items. I was very grateful too.

teaandtoast · 06/10/2017 00:24

Person 1 IBU.

Why not treat your kids if you can?

RJnomore1 · 06/10/2017 00:26

How does a biscuit once a week make a kid spoilt? 😳

DancingDragon · 06/10/2017 00:35

Eh? My 7 year old has a nintendo switch. And he absolutely does realise the concept of me going to work to pay for it. Along with everything else that costs money to run the house. And he doesnt get big value presents in the year. I couldnt afford to do that, nor would i want to. Its good for kids (and grown ups really) to have to wait for things, rather than the have it all now culture. Theres no issue with that. Although i am assuming you are parent 2??

Original poster
DammitAllNamesAreTaken · 06/10/2017 00:49

Hisnameblaine what do you not get?

OP posts:
keepcalmandfuckon · 06/10/2017 01:13

Why can't they have a Nintendo switch for a gift? That's weird. I mean unless you can't afford it. I don't think they sound spoilt at all. I know kids (and mine included) who get more gifts than that.

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 06/10/2017 01:21

So what does person 1 want to get him for his 7th birthday?

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 06/10/2017 01:23

what has child actually asked for, if anything?

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 06/10/2017 01:25

I would say a console was either a joint present from the whole plus extended family or was the main present at Xmas.

Theresnonamesleft · 06/10/2017 01:31

I cannot see how the child is spoilt.

RhiWrites · 06/10/2017 01:31

I think OP is fairly clearly person 1 and is concerned the child is being spoilt. But what's the alternative to the switch as a Christmas present? Pyjamas?

I'd recommend earning/saving pocket money rather than the extra gifts coming randomly.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 06/10/2017 01:32

I don’t get it either Blaine Confused

Op what’s the AIBU?

pp2017 · 06/10/2017 01:43

I think OP is saying that one child receives lots of gifts/treats regularly throughout the year but of smaller value....

The other child mainly only receives gifts on occasions such as birthdays and Christmas but these are bigger/higher value....

OP wants to know which parent is being unreasonable?

I don't think either is - each to their own, I think what's important is the message being conveyed to the child.

You could say that parent 1 is teaching their child that you can (to a degree) treat yourself to what you like but acknowledging that the more often you do it the less money you will be able to spend each time.

Parent 2 on the other hand is teaching their child that you can have bigger/more expensive things if you save for them, but that you must realise that in doing so you can't have "extras" in between.

I think both are commendable lessons, if that is how it is being communicated to the children......

Sohurt17 · 06/10/2017 02:04

I don’t get it either. Are person 1 and 2 talking about the same child but from a different POV?

Original poster
DammitAllNamesAreTaken · 06/10/2017 02:04

It's two different views for the same child.
Parent 1 thinks a smaller gift as child get a lot and is spoilt
Parent 2 thinks a Switch as child doesn't get big gifts any other time

OP posts:
Original poster
DammitAllNamesAreTaken · 06/10/2017 02:05

Yes sohurt is right

OP posts:
deliverdaniel · 06/10/2017 02:05

i have a DC who just turned 7 as well. I wouldn't have bought him a Nintendo - not the money (although that too) but it seems v young to me to be playing video games at home- I'd rather he was doing something else at this age. I think i'd err on the side of person 1 for that reason.

Out2pasture · 06/10/2017 02:05

OP. What the child received for last years Birthday is only relevant if it was enjoyed by the child and affordable to the parents.
This part is irrelevant since a child doesn’t do any of it alone “Has a meal out in a chain restaurant roughly every two weeks with dessert such as ice cream and gets biscuits or chocolate once a week
Goes on holidays and days out”
Buy the child a gift for his birthday either LEGO or Switch based on the family circumstance.

Sohurt17 · 06/10/2017 02:11

Thanks for clarifying OP!

In that case I’d say person 1 is BU. Unless it’s a financial strain, why not treat your child to £100 worth of Xmas presents and a big birthday goat?

The meals out are incidental. Hardly a massage be treat!

Sohurt17 · 06/10/2017 02:12

Fuck me, too many typos Confused

Runaways01 · 06/10/2017 02:15

You're person 2 right?

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable, you just have different views.

KinKinCat · 06/10/2017 02:22

This is really confusing and I don't get what the aibu is? Is it whether person 1 is being unreasonable thinking the kid is spoiled? Or is it whether person 2 is being unreasonable for wanting to get the kid a Nintendo? What would person 1 buy them instead? Either way - unless the kids asked for the Nintendo they probably wouldn't miss it.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 06/10/2017 02:44

I don't get where the confusion is... the OP is pretty clear to me.

Person 1 is being unreasonable.

Person 2 is being reasonable.

But only if the kid actually wants the present and would use it.

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