Who here BU out of us

[DammitAllNamesAreTaken]

DCs 7th birthday coming up soon

I will try to give each persons view without giving details on who said it.

Person 1
Last year Child had lots of presents to open over Christmas from us totalling around £100 including a medium Lego set, pyjamas, and a few other bits)
Lego set for 6th birthday from us
From family - Computer game, board games, money which goes in bank
Throughout year has had various gifts- fidget spinners, toy car, football, football team plaque, a few Lego purchases including base plate and the cup where you pick n mix

Has a meal out in a chain restaurant roughly every two weeks with dessert such as ice cream and gets biscuits or chocolate once a week
Goes on holidays and days out
Is spoilt due to the above

Person 2
Wants to buy a Nintendo switch
Thinks DC doesn't get a value / big presents in year apart from xmas and birthdays
At DCs age - they don't understand the logistics around going to work and paying for things
Child doesn't actually ask for big presents

[NobodyKnowsMeAtAll]

Neither is wrong. Neither is being unreasonable. Two people have different viewpoints - probably based from different life experiences/upbringings/expectations.

Just sit down and talk about it.


(FWIW DH is one of 8. So Christmas's were one present each. Birthdays were the big thing in hi)s house - but still not enormous as they did not have loads of money. My upbringing, birthdays were "smaller" and Christmas was the big thing.

[Fluffyunicorns]

I would go with 2 - 1 does not seem spoilt to me. I have always thought that spoilt is actually nothing to do with how much they get as that depends on the parental income. It depends on their attitude to what they get and what they expect. They can be 'spoilt' and get little if they demand and are not grateful and the little is unaffordable to the parent and can be 'unspoilt' and get a lot if they are grateful, appreciate the gift and don't expect/demand it. Only you will know if your own child is spoilt!

[littlechou]

OP I’d really love it if you could just explain who said what instead of a guessing game for who’s who. Maybe I haven’t woken up properly yet but I’m still struggling a little with the OP

[Penny4UrThoughts]

I'm confused.

Does the child behave as if they are spoiled? Are they demanding/refuse to accept the word 'no'? Is there something about their behaviour that leads person one to say that the child is spoiled?

Because it's not about what the child gets that makes them spoiled, it's about what the child expects and how they react.

[YeahButNo]

Wouldn't these also apply to the child, even from Person 2's perspective?

I assume extended family will also give him gifts, and he will eat out every 2 weeks?

From family - Computer game, board games, money which goes in bank
Throughout year has had various gifts- fidget spinners, toy car, football, football team plaque, a few Lego purchases including base plate and the cup where you pick n mix

Has a meal out in a chain restaurant roughly every two weeks with dessert such as ice cream and gets biscuits or chocolate once a week
Goes on holidays and days out
Is spoilt due to the above

[TimetohittheroadJack]

Children aren't spoilt because they eat out, go on great holiday or get lots of money spent on them at Christmas, children are spoilt if they expect/demand these things, or have tantrums if they don't get them.

The amount of 'stuff' your children get is proportional to how much money you have as a family. But as long as they are grateful, kind and thoughtful (as least some of the time), they are not spoilt.

[Ttbb]

Both. What person 1 has described is normal parenting, wouldn't spoil s child.
Person 2 is unreasonable for wanting to buy a child a video game-do they want the child to be stupid and lazy?

[existentialmoment]

Is spoilt due to the above

I don;t get this. Parent thinks their child is "spoilt" because they get presents on their birthday/Xmas and goes out for dinner sometimes?

[TeenTimesTwo]

A child isn't spoilt by being given gifts per se.

A child is spoilt if they are ungrateful of the gifts, uncaring about looking after them, forever demanding more. etc.

That said Nintendo Switches are £££ aren't they? If you are spending that much at age 7 I dread to think how much the teen years will cost!

Like a PP we have done expensive electronics as a 'family present' which means we are more able to control use.

I don't think either are BU, apart from Parent1 for considering child spoilt when you haven't presented any evidence.

[Reppin]

Why will giving a child video games make them stupid and lazy Ttbb?

[Nocabbageinmyeye]

I am guessing the lack of an update means op is person 1