Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband and toilet time

118 replies

C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 12:39

I dont know if im being totally unreasonable being so irritated by this.

My husband has a minimum of three poos a day. He doesnt have any diagnosed health issues. It annoys me because he spends so much time in a day in there. We only have one toilet. I have in the past suspected he does it for quiet time. we only have one toilet so it impacts us all.

Aibu to be so irriated? Should i be ordering him to see a doctor... or eat less??? Or are three - four poos a day normal?

OP posts:
ponderingprobably · 20/08/2017 12:44

A doctor once told me that once after every meal is considered normal.

If there is no urgency how about he warns you before he goes so you can nip in first if you need to?

loveulotslikejellytots · 20/08/2017 12:45

DH has 2 at home, probably another one at work. He's in there for at least half hour at a time Hmm usually arsing about on his phone. I couldn't think of anything worse, but I agree that it's probably for quiet time.

Have you asked him. I don't begrudge DH time to go to the toilet, and understand he wants 20 mins of quiet time when he gets in from work (I like and get the same). But the morning poo had to be shortened when I explained to him that while he's having a 30 minute shit (on the days I'm working) I'm trying to get ready for work while sorting 18 month old dd with breakfast, wash, brush teeth, dressing etc. So he now gets up a bit earlier if he wants to spend half hour pooing.

Original poster
C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 12:45

Wow ponder s it? I clearly am the abnormal one!

OP posts:
ponderingprobably · 20/08/2017 12:46

And is quiet time an issue? If you resent him having any time to himself that could be a problem. You both should get some time to yourselves.

Original poster
C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 12:46

He took his ipad in both times today so far...

A warning would be good. Ive had the five year old yelling in desperation before wanting a wee.

OP posts:
ponderingprobably · 20/08/2017 12:46

Well normal is a range. Once a day is also normal,

MrsOverTheRoad · 20/08/2017 12:46

I have two a day. I'm quite proud of the fact.

:)

Original poster
C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 12:47

I dont have an issue with quiet time at all! Just not sat on our only toilet! Grin

OP posts:
ponderingprobably · 20/08/2017 12:47

You could always disrupt the internet signal...Wink

YouRat · 20/08/2017 12:48

My dh is exactly the same. He says he enjoys having reading material in there tooHmm
. Everyone's poops habits are different. If he's always been like this. Then no need to worry imo. If it's something new and toilet habits have suddenly changed then yes see a doc.

ClopySow · 20/08/2017 12:50

I'm really curious about this one too. My son can spend up to an hour on the toilet. Has done since he was very young. I don't understand why it takes so long to poop. Do they have some kind of early warning system or something.

I go to the loo and I'm done and dusted within 5 minutes.

Queenioqueenio · 20/08/2017 12:56

I don't think he can help the times per day but 30 mins a time sounds a lot, esp if others are waiting to use it.

Damnthatonestaken · 20/08/2017 12:58

My main concern with this is hygiene. Not hygienic to use your phone on the loo!

Hapaxlegomenon · 20/08/2017 12:59

I guarantee you it's probably quiet time. How long does he take each time?

My dh can sit on the loo for 20 minutes+, and it's the perfect excuse because if anyone asks him to hurry up and help with something he can just say 'can I not take a peaceful shit in my own house?!'.
If he doesn't take his phone with him it takes less than 5 since he'd get bored staring at the wall for 20 minutes.

BeepBeepMOVE · 20/08/2017 13:02

I don't understand why people take so long to poo. If i need to go I go into the bathroom and do my business and out in 5 minutes. If it takes half an hour of sitting before you can actually shit then you don't need to shit.

3 times a day is fine. An hour and a half sat on a toilet not shitting is not.

ThisIsReallyFunny · 20/08/2017 13:05

Men love sitting on the loo browsing on their phones. I think it's vile. My dh does this too as do my friends dh's - we've all moaned to one another about this!

functionAndMethod · 20/08/2017 13:05

DH has a bathroom in his home office and actually has a bookshelf. He also has a cup holder sticking out of the wall*

I'd guess he does 3 a day. Morning, evening and at work.

I think I'd feel pretty ridiculous if I begrudged someone going to the toilet, even if they do make it last longer than it should.

*he made that from motorbike parts and has a picture on his phone if it. He's remarkably proud!

Hapaxlegomenon · 20/08/2017 13:06

Also, apparently men really enjoy it. I believe it's called a poogasm

SnickersWasAHorse · 20/08/2017 13:07

My DH is like this too. Any problems, like emptying the bin or doing the washing up, are preceded by a shit of 20 minutes.

Not hygienic to use your phone on the loo!
I'm always curious about this. Why is it not hygienic? I keep my watch on. I wear clothes. My hands are touching my phone before I wipe my arse and after I have washed my hands, rather like my belt buckle. I can't see a difference.

Original poster
C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 13:07

I feel better now! He has always had a lot a say so that must be normal for him. So iabu about the frequency. And im not unreasonable about electronics in there! Ive apologised to him for having a go about the frequency. Next time he says he needs the loo today im going to confiscate the ipad and time him Grin ues i realise this is controlling and disgusting Grin

OP posts:
Violetcharlotte · 20/08/2017 13:07

This is definitely a male thing. DS2 spends hours in there. And we've only got one loo. It drives me mental!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 20/08/2017 13:07

Men love sitting on the loo browsing on their phones. I think it's vile. My dh does this too as do my friends dh's - we've all moaned to one another about this!

It's not just men that do it; women do it too. It's not unhygienic or "vile" at all.

LoniceraJaponica · 20/08/2017 13:08

Well bully for you Beep. Not everyone has identical bowels to you. I have IBS snd sometimes take longer. Is that OK with you?

This is one reason why only having one loo would be a deal breaker for us.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 20/08/2017 13:08

And im not unreasonable about electronics in there!

Yes, you are.

Next time he says he needs the loo today im going to confiscate the ipad and time him grin ues i realise this is controlling and disgusting

I really hope this is a joke; it's not okay to confiscate anything from an adult.

Hulder · 20/08/2017 13:09

3 a day is within the normal range.

However if you were to cut off the wifi when he goes in, you might find he spends less time doing them.