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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband and toilet time

118 replies

C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 12:39

I dont know if im being totally unreasonable being so irritated by this.

My husband has a minimum of three poos a day. He doesnt have any diagnosed health issues. It annoys me because he spends so much time in a day in there. We only have one toilet. I have in the past suspected he does it for quiet time. we only have one toilet so it impacts us all.

Aibu to be so irriated? Should i be ordering him to see a doctor... or eat less??? Or are three - four poos a day normal?

OP posts:
TeamCersei · 20/08/2017 14:12

men really enjoy it. I believe it's called a poogasm

I asked my DH. He confirms this is true.

TeamCersei · 20/08/2017 14:19

Or another name is
Poophoria Hmm

If they sit there long enough, the poo builds up to be so big, that it presses on nerve that give them a euphoric feeling.

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2559683/Have-YOU-experienced-poo-phoria-Doctors-reveal-science-going-bathroom-like-orgasm-some.html

DarthMaiden · 20/08/2017 14:20

iPoo's are banned chez Darth for the simple reason an iPoo seems to take 30 mins whereas an old school normal poo can be done in 5.

Technology does not always lead to efficiency.

Maria1982 · 20/08/2017 14:20

This is clearly a thing. I'm wondering if there is some physical biological difference - do men lack some muscles??

I can't imagine spending 30 mins in the actual act of passing a poo... it's either coming out in a minute or so, or nothing is happening and I'm going to get up and try again later!

Maria1982 · 20/08/2017 14:21

darth You made me laugh - iPoo is so apt!!

Original poster
C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 14:41

Omg poophoria?!

We are moving to a new build when it is built and that will have the usual 3 toilets that new builds have. I cannot wait. Im allocating a girl toilet and a boy toilet!

OP posts:
DarthMaiden · 20/08/2017 14:58

@Maria1982

You can now (I kid you not) buy an iPotty to start training them young. It's a potty with an integrated iPad stand.

There's going to be a whole generation who can't take a shit without technical intervention.

Spangles1963 · 20/08/2017 15:52

Once after every meal? Really? There's obviously something wrong with me then!

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 20/08/2017 15:58

I don't understand why some people (apart from those with bowel conditions, etc) take so long on the toilet. Do they go in there thinking they might need a poo in the next half hour rather than leaving it until they get the urge? I suspect it's to get alone time...often when there are chores that need doing or when they might be asked to help with childcare etc Hmm Bet they would only take a couple of minutes if they didn't have their phones with them.

QueenOfTheSardines · 20/08/2017 16:01

There have been loads of threads about this!

Various theories abound but it seems clear that it is common for men to vanish for 30mins plus to take a shit whereas for many women it's in out job done (no pun intended).

The theories boiled down to:

  • Men going for a "try" rather than when they actually need to and seeing if anything happens. (WHY? My husband said this is what he does)
  • Wanking
  • Avoiding work e.g. childcare or just generally taking some "me time"
  • Passive aggressive shitting / control shitting ie suddenly deciding to go when everyone is just about to leave and making them all hang around for 30 mins while he sits in the bog

So, take your pick!

OverTheHammer · 20/08/2017 16:03

I hate bog hoggers - my DH has three poos a day but has them quite quickly. My ex used to set up camp in there and it used to irritate the fuck out of me. Selfish attention seeking, smelly arsed bastard

SnickersWasAHorse · 20/08/2017 16:13

My ex used to refuse to leave the house until he had had a shit. It used to drive me to distraction.

ThisIsReallyFunny · 21/08/2017 13:17

Of course it's vile. Sitting on a loo, with your crap floating beneath you while you're browsing in your phone isn't disgusting?!!

ThisIsReallyFunny · 21/08/2017 13:17

*on your phone

thecatsthecats · 21/08/2017 13:20

My OH can take up to an hour in there, but he thinks 30m is 'normal'.

It doesn't bother me, because I get quiet time whilst he's out of the way, except when he sits around on his phone for an hour, THEN announces he's off for an epic poop.

keeponworking · 21/08/2017 13:28

Why would anyone, man or woman, need to sit and force out their poo using their muscles?!!!? If you're having to do that, it means you're constipated. You should go on the loo, bowels open, poo comes out, no straining, entire bowel is emptied. You can tell this because there will be a little curl at the end which is where the poo has been backed up to the top of the rectum where it turns round like a very sharp bend, and thus you can tell if that last bit has come out. Thought you'd like to know that and hope it's enhanced your day! Grin

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 21/08/2017 13:32

My partner goes 2/3 times per day. Sign of a healthy digestive system. I do though think men enjoy the quiet time too, with phone or newspaper

emwithme · 21/08/2017 13:34

I can poo in 2 - 3 minutes. Sometimes I'm in the bathroom pooing for a good 20 minutes. It all depends on how good the book is.

However, we have more than one loo, and I don't go for a read-poo if I need to be doing something else. DH is the same.

MrsTrentReznor · 21/08/2017 13:34

Ahhhh the half hour poo.
Not funny when I'm crying my eyes out, begging to use the bathroom with blood dripping down my legs due to a flooding incident.
(Not my OH, another family male.)
It's selfish. Luckily my DP is a fast pooper.

CurlyBlueberry · 21/08/2017 13:43

Mine can be in there for up to an hour but usually around 30 minutes.

I have quite literally pushed out an entire 7lb BABY in the time he can take to do a poo. A BABY. I do not believe his poo was as big as the baby, so I do not understand how it can take so long (other than medical conditions, which he does not have).

LexieLulu · 21/08/2017 13:43

Turn wifi off 😂

kissmethere · 21/08/2017 13:48

We also have one toilet and I've had to ban the lingering luxury poo holiday that the men in our house had settled into. No books allowed either as our house can get quite busy and I was sick of knocking on the door as someone one of wanted to use it.

saffrongirl · 21/08/2017 13:49

My dh is exactly the same, he does at least announce "I'm going for a poo" and then I know I won't hear from him for another half an hour or so. I just don't get it, don't their bums get cold? If I need a poo I go to the loo and do a poo. 2 mins max. WHAT ARE THEY DOING ON THERE.

He got piles which I said were from hovering on the toilet for too long but he still does it.

natwebb79 · 21/08/2017 13:52

If my 2 need to go to the loo while DH is in there I tell them to bang on the door and shout 'Dad! I'm desperatefor a poo!!'. He soon shifts.

PollyFlint · 21/08/2017 14:02

If my partner was timing my toilet trips and telling me how long I was allowed to take in the loo, I would think he was an absolute dickhead.

If he takes a long time to have a shit, it's up to him. Monitoring it is bloody weird.

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