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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband and toilet time

118 replies

C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2017 12:39

I dont know if im being totally unreasonable being so irritated by this.

My husband has a minimum of three poos a day. He doesnt have any diagnosed health issues. It annoys me because he spends so much time in a day in there. We only have one toilet. I have in the past suspected he does it for quiet time. we only have one toilet so it impacts us all.

Aibu to be so irriated? Should i be ordering him to see a doctor... or eat less??? Or are three - four poos a day normal?

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 20/08/2017 13:10

However if you were to cut off the wifi when he goes in, you might find he spends less time doing them.

This is controlling and unreasonable.

Dina1234 · 20/08/2017 13:13

Three times is healthy but how long is he taking to do them? If he's in there for more that three minutes then there is something wrong with him, or heis indeed using it for quiet time.

WashBasketsAreUs · 20/08/2017 13:13

I take the paper with me!

Hapaxlegomenon · 20/08/2017 13:13

Lighten up WhatTo!

joannegrady90 · 20/08/2017 13:13

He's probably having a wank

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 20/08/2017 13:14

Lighten up WhatTo!

Okay, let's tell that to a wife whose husband is controlling then.

PNGirl · 20/08/2017 13:17

I don't think it would be controlling if he is/was taking 30 minutes in the 1 shared bathroom when everyone is trying to get ready!

Judydreamsofhorses · 20/08/2017 13:18

This is such A Thing in my house that we have an agreement he will let me know before he goes so I can nip in for a wee, otherwise I end up knocking on the door while he browses Twitter at his leisure.

troodiedoo · 20/08/2017 13:18

No devices in the toilet is fair dos if you only have one. Too much phone browsing can cause piles

But agree with pp all these men probably wanking.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 20/08/2017 13:23

Mine does not need quiet time (he is the noisy one). But he still takes fucking ages. I'm sure he's having a shwank.

BabsGanoush · 20/08/2017 13:25

I sympathise OP, my DH is the same. Disappears for 20 mins + twice a day with his ipad. Any change in routine and he's in there more often (heavy meal, hangover). Fortunately we have 2 bathrooms.

He regularly goes away with work and the first thing he does when he gets in his hotel room is go for a poo. He rings me from there to say he has arrived safely. I know because the call always echos so I know where he is.

As for germs, they are everywhere - door handles, stair rails, light switches. Lets face it when was the last time you cleaned the light cord in the bathroom??

Huskylover1 · 20/08/2017 13:28

Could you install another loo? Perhaps under the stairs? It would make life so much easier....

reallyanotherone · 20/08/2017 13:31

What i hate about it is dh disappears for half an hour and gets to shit in peace. If it's noticed he's missing we know he's off for a poo and everything carries on as normal.

I go to the loo and within 30 seconds someone needs me to find something, get them a drink, or know where i am. Often it's dh, if it isn't they don't think that dh could get them a drink, they will get off the sofa next to him and come looking for me.

FuzzyCustard · 20/08/2017 13:34

A Dr (consultant gastro person) told us (me and DH - just pointing out the problem was not with me) that sitting on the loo for ages was a sure route to piles. In his view,"Dump and Run" was the way to good bowel health.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/08/2017 13:35

DP does this. Drives me mad because he always chooses the most annoying time to do it. In return, I have a leisurely shower.

Hotdognoketchup · 20/08/2017 13:38

I just used to let the DC loose on DH, they were much more effective at getting him out than I ever was. Now thankfully we have another toilet for him to spend a lifetime sitting around in.

JiminyBillyBob · 20/08/2017 13:39

Bizarre. If you need to go, you go.
If you can't go immediately - if you're sitting there for more than a minute - you don't need to go.
Get up, do something constructive (moving about might get things going) and try again later when the urge arises.

There's something quite gross about sitting there pantless fiddling with a phone.

GandolfBold · 20/08/2017 13:45

This happens in our house too.

Its normally slap bang in the middle of trying to get everyone out the door before school.

YANBU

celeste4 · 20/08/2017 13:49

I'm pretty sure i've read somewhere that men poo more than woman. Cut the guy some slack Grin

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 20/08/2017 13:57

TBH I think he's lucky he hasn't given himself piles (or is that a myth?).

DP went through a phase of doing this (he still takes a while, but has learned his lesson following the piles episode) - I used to have to give him a 45 minute warning or his legs would get so numb from sitting on the toilet that he'd have to warm up before getting up!

ElizabethShaw · 20/08/2017 14:02

Make sure he gives you a warning so you/DC can get in first. And turn the WiFi off!

TheBusThatCouldntSlowDown · 20/08/2017 14:04

I have a theory that men don't have the 'pushing' muscles that women have and that's why they all seem to just passively sit there for hours until the poo falls out of it's own accord.

meltingmarshmallows · 20/08/2017 14:10

My husband has 4 trips & you could set your watch by it. Total opposite of me so I found it odd but I guess some people are just more 'regular'.

wfrances · 20/08/2017 14:10

i was told last month by a doctor that once a day was best. (im always on the toilet -but having various tests)

Whiterabbitears · 20/08/2017 14:12

My DH does this, takes his phone in, has a fag and spends 30 mins in there Hmm meanwhile the rest of us end up needing a wee and end up banging on the door to hurry him up Angry

I don't get why he does it, I'm in and straight out, I hate hanging around my own shit!