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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nurses rough with dd

122 replies

andshewillbeloved · 15/06/2017 18:46

My toddler dd had an overnight stay in hospital the other night and had to have an inhaler and paracetamol to reduce her temp. She was wheezing and breathing too fast.

I'm probably being PFB but the nurses were very forceful when it came to giving her the medicine and I'm left feeling a bi traumatised.

Am I being daft?

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/06/2017 18:48

Well, did you want her to take the medicine? It was obviously i pets by she took it so she could get well. What do you mean by very forceful though? What actually happened Confused

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/06/2017 18:49

Ugh. Meant to say 'it was obviously important that she took it'

MatildaTheCat · 15/06/2017 18:49

Well only you know what happened but they will be very experienced at getting a reluctant toddler to take their medication quickly and with best effect. They cannot spend hours wheedling and cajoling.

Could you have seen firm and efficient as rough?

Having a sick child is really stressful and I hope dd is better very soon.

GraciesMansion · 15/06/2017 18:49

Do you mean that she was resisting taking the medicine and they forced her? If so, then they did the right thing. I've done the same when it's been essential. However YANBU to be upset about it, it's not nice to see. What would you have done instead?

Imchuckbass · 15/06/2017 18:50

A little U I think - I'm guessing the nurses need to get meds into a lot a kids in a small space of time. Plus if she is in hospital then it must be fairly serious therefor when she needs medication, she needs it.

I hope she feels better soon.

soupmaker · 15/06/2017 18:51

Forceful? What do you mean by that?

She needed to take her medication to improve her breathing surely. Toddlers aren't exactly the most amenable. Were you with her the whole time?

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 15/06/2017 18:53

Forceful in that they carried on giving her the medicine even though dd was really upset by it. I don't know why it's still on my mind but it was just awful to see.

OP posts:
Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 15/06/2017 18:54

Yes she was resisting and they sort of pinned her down until she's taken it

OP posts:
ZivaDiva · 15/06/2017 18:56

If she was ill enough to need a stay in hospital then she really needed the Meds. I used to hold my ds on my lap with an arm across his arms and the other hand holding the spacer mask onto his face, he cried but the meds got into his lungs. It's no use wafting it near their faces as it doesn't work and they get sicker if you wait too long whilst trying to coax them.

TheAntiBoop · 15/06/2017 18:56

I'm sorry about your dd

it's important she takes the medicine and I'm sure they tried to do it as quickly as possible so she could have cuddles with you

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 18:56

I regularly give inhalers to children aged between 1-2 years and it is a nightmare. Of course the children hate it, but they need it, so we just give it. It probably does appear forceful but it has to be.

We get a lot of children be readmitted with exacerbation of their symptoms and it's usually because whilst at home the parents give in to the child's upset and don't use the inhaler correctly or frequently enough.

Some toddlers scream the place down when we do it but the alternative is them ending up ventilated in intensive care and I know what I'd prefer for my child....

Iris65 · 15/06/2017 18:57

Your DD needed the medicine. Be thankful that there was someone there who made sure she took it.

One of my worst memories as a student nurse was restraining an two year old (with another member of staff) so that she could have a lumbar puncture to check for meningitis. It meant she was diagnosed and treated as quickly as possible though. I knew we were doing the right thing.

MaidOfStars · 15/06/2017 18:57

Don't all kids cry at medical interventions - jabs etc?

TheAntiBoop · 15/06/2017 18:57

I was in a&e and a kid was running rings round his parents trying to give him some medicine. A nurse came out held him tight and shoved it down his mouth. He was a little shocked but then just sat and played.

Sirzy · 15/06/2017 18:58

What else do you suggest they do?

Being pinned down for inhalers is much better than the consequences of not having them!

HighwayDragon1 · 15/06/2017 18:59

They did exactly the right thing. Your child needed medicine.

Rockhopper81 · 15/06/2017 18:59

Was it the inhaler she was resistant to? It can be unsettling for children if they're not used to it - is it the first time she's had one?

It really is the quickest way of getting the medication into lungs for breathing difficulties, so it had to be done.

I know it's not pleasant to see - or do for that matter, we had to master the art of pinning my nephews to us to give him his inhaler when he was younger - but they would only have wanted the best for her.

Hope she's feeling better.

NC4now · 15/06/2017 19:00

I've been there with DS but asthma in toddlers is really serious. It's not nice but the consequences of not getting it under control can be so serious. I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you more, but it really is important she has those inhalers, upset or not.
It's upsetting as a mum to see your child in distress but it's upsetting to see them dangerously ill too.
Have some of these Flowers
You need them. You've both been through the mill a bit but it had to be done.

minisoksmakehardwork · 15/06/2017 19:01

I hate to say it, but unless she was refusing to breathe, big gasping breathes from crying are bloody good way of getting inhaled meds in!

Yes, it's not nice to watch. But by virtue of being in hospital, your dd really is poorly. I've always been of the opinion that if it's needed to get lo better and home, the Drs and nurses can do what works to facilitate that. If that means being firm then so be it. But then my ds1 was 7 weeks old when he had his first lumbar puncture and they wouldn't let us in with him as they said it is not a nice experience and would be very distressing for us. Having been in for the following lumbar puncture, I agree!

mctat · 15/06/2017 19:01

Interested to see what you say to further questions OP. I recently had to take my toddler to a&e, and actually I wasn't mad keen on the way dd was dealt with in triage. I do feel I need to qualify that by saying that I am massively grateful for their care either way, I don't necessarily expect to get a Rolls Royce service and I get people are tired etc. I know how lucky we are to have the service. Anyway the main problem imo was with the way she spoke to dd before doing what she needed to do. Or rather didn't. She just came at her with things! Would have saved time & made the whole thing easier for everyone if she'd been a bit slower & clearer. Btw it wasn't an emergency & there was no one else waiting so it wasn't that. Just a lack of communication. I stepped in where I could but when they don't explain what they're about to do it's a bit hard!

So many people don't know how to speak to/engage with small children or treat them respectfully. The second person we saw was absolutely fantastic & it made it a different experience.

Queenofthestress · 15/06/2017 19:01

I've done that! At one point I've had one hand holding DS's hands down, kneeling with legs either side of him and the other hand holding it on his face
He was about 2 at the time, when it's medicine you do what you need to do, plus if they're crying they take bigger breaths so the medicine works quicker

ComeTheFuck0nBridget · 15/06/2017 19:01

It sounds like they did the right thing. Whilst I'm sure it must have been difficult to watch, what would you rather they had done? Not give her the medicine she needs to get better?

FruitCider · 15/06/2017 19:02

They did the right thing from the sounds of it. I'm a nurse and quite often administer oxygen to hypoxic patients who are confused and aggressive. I'm very used to shoving an oxygen mask in someone's face as they are restrained. Sometimes needs must. A small child cannot consent to treatment as they don't understand the consequences of refusing said treatment. I think it's crueler to drag it out to be honest.

FruitCider · 15/06/2017 19:03

Oh, and my own child has asthma. I have resorted to kneeling over them with their arms pinned to their sides by my legs before. Thankfully now they are 4 they are more compliant,

mctat · 15/06/2017 19:03

Oops cross post. I do think it depends on the situation and the communication prior to doing it. Not saying it shouldn't ever be forced though.