Nurses rough with dd

[andshewillbeloved]

My toddler dd had an overnight stay in hospital the other night and had to have an inhaler and paracetamol to reduce her temp. She was wheezing and breathing too fast.

I'm probably being PFB but the nurses were very forceful when it came to giving her the medicine and I'm left feeling a bi traumatised.

Am I being daft?

The nurses helped your sick child for free and you're complaining why exactly?

OP I do get that it is awful to witness but you need to get over yourself a bit. She needed the medication and staff needed to make sure she took it. Toddlers are remarkably resilient. I've been where you and cried when my DD1 was pinned down to be given medication but I hoisted up my big girl pants and got on with it. DD1 was none the worse for the experience.

When DS was 18 months old and hospitalised with asthma, I had to wrestle him into my lap, pin his legs down with mine cross legged over his and use my elbows to hold his arms down whilst holding his inhaler for 10 puffs of salbutamol for 10 seconds.

The nurses commended me on my technique and said it made a change to have a parent who was able to adequately get the medication in as so many people basically piss-farted about with sick, screaming, flailing toddlers and couldn't get the inhaler done, leaving it to the nurses to fight them instead.

It was the only way to get his mess in, unpleasant for all involved but I'd rather have a bruised child (and self!) than be delicate yet still have a child struggling to breathe.

I'm sorry this upset you op but the nurses did the right thing. You dd was ill and needed medication to make her better and it was vital she got it.
And you may have to do the same yourself if the Dr's decide she needs it for a while as it will be very very important she gets the treatment she needs. Some things just have to be done regardless of if they like it or not.

She was ill and in hospital. What did you want them to do?

I know you're all right, I just can't stop thinking about it. I think I'm just traumatised in general by the whole thing rather than what happened with the inhaler. I need sleep.

From a patient's point of view (me), when you're short of breath you fight anything that comes near your face, that's just low oxygen combined with instinct and panic, but underneath all that you are glad that the nurses are taking charge if that makes sense, even though they have to be forceful. It probably looks worse than it feels

It isn't pleasant OP. But giving the fill dosage or giving at the right time is sometimes essential with medicines.

You DD was upset during the administration but unless they were verbally nasty (like calling her a silly girl) or slapped her afterwards then there's nothing wrong with it, it is simply a means to an end.

Upsetting all the same.

Having an ill child is traumatic especially if it's unexpected/the first time. Make sure you take time to look after yourself. Get some rest.
How is she doing now?

It is traumatic, very upsetting.

But nurses know that children are upset and do resist, and that by spinning it out the child just stays upset and distressed for longer, not to mention that with an inhaler, their life is potentially at risk until they take it.

I speak from many, many hospital stays with a child who has needed many interventions. She will be forget it and be FINE.

I hope your Dd is better very soon.

I remember reading about the mother of a toddler cancer patient describing her child struggling with all her might to try to prevent the nurses getting medication into her and the staff holding her down and forcing it in. After about a week the child became weak and compliant. The mother said that was much worse to watch.

I'm sorry you're upset, seeing your child distressed is upsetting. Hope she gets better soon.

It's very upsetting to see your child ill enough to be admitted to hospital. You do feel quite helpless and as a parent you instinctively want to make them feel better. I do sympathise.

You were there for her and comforted her I'm sure. That's all that is needed when she's upset. Try not to dwell on it.

I hope she's on the mend now

It's not nice. Both of my DD's have been in for low oxygen and needed masks, inhalers, steroids etc. I've had to hold them down to get them to take them.

But. Nurses and Drs don't give medicines lightly. My DD's desperately needed something quick to open their airways - like I'm sure yours must have too.

So. Sorry it was so horrible. But I suspect they don't like doing it either. Necessary though.

So sorry you have been through what must have been a very stressful and worrying time.

But yes, YABU. Nurses are busy. Too busy. They don't have time to try and persuade a reluctant toddler to take medicine willingly - chances are it would be time wasted because once a toddler has made up their mind very little will change it.

Better a firm hand and the much-needed medicine gets taken, than wasting the nurses time with the potential of the toddler's condition worsening meantime.

They're right in what they did but it is still hard to watch. My son had to undergo a few tests to confirm his medical condition and start receiving treatment asap. The worst was when he had to have some things pumped into him through a cannula and then blood taken at regular intervals. He was three and eventually had to be sedated for it after a few failed attempts. The doctor told me he'd never seen such a young child fight so forcefully even whilst under sedation it took two doctors, a nurse, me and my mom to hold him down for it. The thought of it affects me even now but it was for the best. He started to become anxious about the hospital and doctors and we had some appointments with the play therapists which were really helpful. If your daughter is likely to have regular hospital stays, that is something you could look into which could help. The memory of how horrible and rough it was does fade over time and now I am just glad it was done.

You are definitely being unreasonable. They did what they needed to to help your dd get better.

I've had to watch countless procedures done on my child - you are being incredible soft to be 'disturbed' by an inhaler - try getting blood drawn every day and injecting her! She's fine now and that's all that counts.

In future just ask to give her medicine yourself. They'll usually let you if it's inhalers or paracetamol and they are watching. TBH though I don't as I let someone else be the bad guy and do it now then I sweep in as be Mum and give be lots of cuddles. She knows I'm her safe zone.

It's traumatising to witness but in this case YABU

I'm sorry, but you are being a bit unreasonable - I totally understand why, it's very traumatic and distressing to see your child being held down and upset, but it's necessary.

I'm a paeds nurse. I've seen children die from wheeze related conditions. No child has ever died from nurses being firm with them administering inhalers - and that is our concern. We need that medication into them, as much as I hate doing it (and all the other things that we have to pin down for - like taking bloods and cannulating) it's necessary. I'm sorry though, it is a tough thing to see.

The nurses may have also learnt from experience that it's kinder to administer the medication quickly than making it a drawn out process of cajoling and persuading a toddler who is getting increasingly upset and fighting back. That can make the whole situation worse.

I can imagine it was hard to watch. When my eldest was 15 months old he had a general anaesthetic. When they put the mask over his mouth he struggled to push it off and then went floppy. The anaesthetist had explained that he wouldn't like the gas and might struggle but it was still horrible to watch. He also looked so tiny on the massive table.

I hope your daughter is better soon.

We used to have to wrap our 4 year old DS in a towel to trap his arms and literally had to hold his nose, pop a malaria tablet in his mouth, and then clamp it shut to make him swallow when we were in Kenya. He used to scream the place down. It was a 2 person job and I was sure we'd get a knock from Kenyan Social Services.

It was as traumatic for us but more important that he take the malaria tablets DAILY than catch malaria.

It is horrible to see what you perceive as your child suffering but I suspect she has forgotten about it already whilst it is playing on your mind. for you.

A child in hospital is traumatic. The worst for me was when my then 3 year old needed it antibiotics it took OH me and 3 nurses/doctors to get his cannula in (he was already scared of needles) and it took 3 attempts. It was awful he was traumatised and I was too but the alternative did not bear thinking about.

Another one here with an asthmatic dc who when younger had to be pinned down kicking and screaming by doctors and nurses in order to administer the inhaler. When we got him home dh and i have had to resort to similar. I agree that it looks unpleasant but the consequences of not having the medication are far far worse. The nurse was just doing her job.

The good news is that once they get used to the inhaler and get a bit older and realises that it helps them they get far less resistant and much better at taking it!

Firm, calm and forceful to do what has to be done for a sick child as quickly as possible before her condition deteriorates is not being 'rough'.
If you mean that they appeared to lose their temper with your dd and treated her unkindly, that's a different thing.
But yanbu to be traumatised by the whole experience.
It will probably help if you make sure you understand why she got so ill that she had to go to hospital, what if any ongoing meds she needs, and whether there was anything you could have done sooner, so you feel back in control as her mum.