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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nurses rough with dd

122 replies

andshewillbeloved · 15/06/2017 18:46

My toddler dd had an overnight stay in hospital the other night and had to have an inhaler and paracetamol to reduce her temp. She was wheezing and breathing too fast.

I'm probably being PFB but the nurses were very forceful when it came to giving her the medicine and I'm left feeling a bi traumatised.

Am I being daft?

OP posts:

Liiinoo · 16/06/2017 17:33

One of my worst memories is having to pin my struggling 18 month old daughter down so nurses could get IVs with medication and fluids into her. I'm not joking when I say it traumatised both of us. It was over 20 years ago but just remembering the horror of that night is making me cry. She developed a fear of medics and hospitals that lasted years and was eventually resolved with hypnotherapy.

Despite all the pain the situation caused If it were to reoccur tomorrow I would do the same again in a heartbeat because it saved her life.

kaytee87 · 16/06/2017 17:48

Would you rather your daughter died

What a ridiculous question.

muckypup73 · 16/06/2017 17:56

kaytee87, why is it a ridiculous question? if the child did not get medication she may have died children do die from athsma you know. so no not stupid.

ChestyNut · 16/06/2017 18:33

I hope both you and your DD are feeling better.
You know it was necessary but of course as a parent it's distressing to watch.

vodkadrinker no need for PAs

kaytee87 · 16/06/2017 18:45

Because of course op wouldn't rather her daughter had died!!

WeAllHaveWings · 16/06/2017 18:51

It's horrible to see, but needs to be done and the quicker the better. Also unfortunately the nurses don't have time to get each child to take their medicine willingly.

When ds was 18 months old he had to be pinned down and a tube put up his nose to get fluids into him, it was very traumatic (especially when he quickly yanked to out and it had to be done again), but very necessary.

Hope she gets well soon.

muckypup73 · 16/06/2017 19:38

kaytee87, of course the op would rather her child did not die, but if the child was not given the medication what would happen? as I said asthma kills.

Floggingmolly · 16/06/2017 19:40

How do you think they could have done it differently??

kaytee87 · 16/06/2017 19:41

I'm aware that it kills, my dh and I both suffer from it. It was a stupid question as clearly op wouldn't rather her child died...

lifetothefull · 16/06/2017 19:45

It's not nice to see. I had to hold my toddler while they gave her anasthetic gas ready for an operation. Very traumatic for me, but she was never going to want it, it just had to be done.

FineAsWeAre · 16/06/2017 19:46

OP, it's horrible but I would assume necessary given that she was in hospital. My DS has had to be pinned down for an NG tube, a canular and inhalers in the past. It's made me cry but they're just doing their job. Hope you're both ok

ineedamoreadultieradult · 16/06/2017 19:49

OP it is horrible to witness but sometimes needs must. I chose to stay in the room while they put my toddlers dislocated elbow back in and I remember feeling traumatised for a long time after. It's ok to feel this way but just remember they are doing it for the best reasons.

BlackeyedSusan · 16/06/2017 19:58

did you get their names?

muckypup73 · 16/06/2017 20:19

kaytee87, you are completley missing the point!!!!

InfiniteCurve · 16/06/2017 20:29

DD had to have a cannula put in for a kidney scan aged maybe 3? The nurse then for some reason thought distracting and being jolly would mean DD would quieten down and let her put it in. Cue DD getting more and more distraught,till I said to the nurse that she needed to just do it and another nurse and I could hold DD still,which we did.
It was horrid for her,poor baby,but then it was over.She'd started that visit by throwing up all over me when they put the pre cannula anaesthetic gel on her hand - that was being upset too.

mctat · 16/06/2017 20:34

How do you think they could have done it differently??

mctat · 16/06/2017 20:43

Oops, posted too soon.

'How do you think they could have done it differently??'

'After the test the clinician gathered the leads and yanked them off in one with no warning.'

It's the latter attitude, and the assumption a toddler won't understand. Versus those who take the time to explain, briefly, what is happening to a little person that is just learning about the world. Forcing treatment straight away, fine in a true emergency, and yes the treatment may still have to just be done in the end, but there's a difference between taking the time to briefly explain what is happening, which actually a lot of medical professionals don't do, and endless negotiation with a toddler.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/06/2017 21:32

I think it's a difficult dance mcat with my kids, as toddlers, explaining would sometimes frighten them beforehand and cause them to actively try to resist, making things more traumatic.

Justdontgetitatall · 16/06/2017 21:33

Which hospital was it? I know a children's nurse at Alder Hey who is really rough with children!

bobblyorangerug · 16/06/2017 21:45

I understand it's not pleasant to watch but I'm not sure what else could be done?
She needed the treatment, they ensured she got it, i'm assuming either to save her life or stop deeply unpleasant symptoms?

RhodaBorrocks · 17/06/2017 00:37

I see this in kind of the same way as vaccinations - so many mums I know get upset over giving them to their baby because they're convinced that their child will be in agony and it will traumatise them. Really the pain goes quickly and the child more likely picks up on the parent(s) anxiety and gets upset.

I'm extremely pro vax and pro medication as I am disabled and have had my life saved several times over by the NHS. DS only ever really cried at his infant injections when he was too little for distraction. At his 13 month ones he was just learning to speak so was distracted by asking what everything was. At his pre school boosters he knew if he took his medicine without fuss he'd get chocolate and didn't even whimper.

The only time he's ever needed to be held tight for anything was when he needed an intramuscular injection of antibiotics into his thigh. He had suspected meningitis and he had to have them before being blue lighted to hospital. The syringe was fucking huge and I know from experience that the antibiotic itself stings like hell. I didn't blame him for screaming.

He also has a bad chest and had to have an inhaler for the first time at 6 months. He resisted it the first 2 days, but by day 3 was sticking his little chin out when he saw the spacer coming. He knew it made him feel better.

He also takes melatonin tablets now. At first the thought of taking them petrified him and he fought bitterly, but he realised it was take them or no sleep so he said "Well I'll just have to get used to it!" He was 7 at the time.

It's not nice to see them resist and get upset, but the calmer and more 'no nonsense' you can be, so much the better for them. They will soon adapt and learn that medicine is non negotiable and far better than the alternative.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 17/06/2017 00:46

I have held my children down for various medical procedures. Dd1 had a sore eye and she didn't want the ooh doctor to look, but it had to be done (she was 15 months) I held her down and when I looked over DH was crying! I am a vet and although we always try nice first if animals are getting distressed it's often better to be firm and quick. It's hard to try to reason with them and the same goes for very small children. What's important is what needs to happen , for their own benefit, but I don't enjoy it!

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