In thinking the hotel were assholes?

[MrsFloppy]

So we stayed at a Hilton Garden Inn last night in our way back from holiday.

Dh goes out to pick up take away so I order myself a glass of wine from room service.

It comes, I sign the cheque (and tip the person well) and then ten minutes later I get a call from a very amused dh saying he'd got a frantic call from the hotel saying 'some women not known to you was trying to purchase wine from your room'.

When he told them I'm his wife and asked what the problem was it turns out I signed the bill with my maiden name and that pulled up a red flag as it wasn't the same as the name the room was booked under which wasn't 'protocol'. And that next time he'd have to order or sign!!

I know this is a small deal in the big scheme of things but for some reason I'm really fucking annoyed. It's pretty common for wives to have different surnames, or for a couple to not even be married.

It's not about wives having different names or not being married though, is it? The room was booked in one name. Pretty standard to check the name of the room holder against a charge made. If the room was in your name and it was your dh who ordered and signed for the wine the same procedure would have applied.

This happened with me and a female friend on a weekend away. She ordered a room service meal, I was the one who had to sign for it as I had booked the room and my name was on the account. Dunno if that's standard everywhere, I don't usually go to nice hotels!

It's not the fact that they checked that would bother me, but how bloody rude they were!

They could have called your DH and said something like 'Just a courtesy call to confirm that Ms XXX is authorised to purchase on your account'.

YABU. I am willing to bet they were not 'frantic' as a room service clerk really couldn't give a flying fig if a guest gets overcharged. All they knew was that someone whose surname was not on the credit card given them to charge incidentals to had been used. What were they supposed to do? Allow your DH to be defrauded or suck up a fraudulent charge? They double checked with your DH and he explained the charge was OK. Next time explain at check in that you use different surnames.

YABU! Are you really Mrs dh? It seems strange to me to forget your surname unless you are newly-weds. Clearly the hotel can't pass on a charge from Miss Sundry who happened to be in one of the rooms.

Right Koala. That's what I thought. I wouldn't have been offended at all if they'd been a little more tip toey.

Saying letting someone with a different surname order isn't 'protocol' just wound me up. Take both names if you're going to be rude about it.

Hilton Garden inns aren't really that naice. They're pretty much the only hotels attached to airports here and we had some stupidly early flights and ds was at the end of his tether travel wise so wanted to not be getting him up at 1am three nights in a row.

How did I forget my surname?! I have my maiden name still.

Dh said they were a little frantic. And he is not prone to exaggeration at all.

Are you really Mrs dh? It seems strange to me to forget your surname unless you are newly-weds.

What? She didn't forget her surname, she just didn't take his name when they married.

I have friends who've been married 10+ years with 2 kids, he's Mr Jones and she's Ms Smith.

Hello, the 1950s called and want their assumptions back...

Who would I be pretending to be? If I don't have dh's surname I can't be Mrs dh? Or this is a reverse? Ah mumsnet.

Okay, we're hearing this second-hand, but initially their words were some women not known to you was trying to purchase wine from your room, which sounds perfectly polite to me. Now you say that they told your husband that it wasn't protocol to accept orders with a different surname, which also sounds fine. How on earth did you forget your name?

I think this is one of those AIBU posts that is actually ^I'm Not BU and you should agree with me.

You should join your dh in being "very amused" and give up being "really fucking annoyed". You got your wine and it will be paid for. Get over yourself, and be grateful that they won't inform the real Mrs dh!

Koala
She didn't forget her surname, she just didn't take his name when they married.

I'm wondering how you know that?

I didn't forget my fucking name I have a different surname to dh. Jesus Christ. It's 2017. I can vote and everything.

I was was there with our 3.5 year old ds. Hardly an affair.

Is it really that unusual in your world for wives to keep their surnames?!

Of all of my married friends I'd say 70% have kept their own names.

It's got nothing to do with your surname. And everything to do with booking a hotel room in one name. Just put both your names down in future. The hotel couldn't give a flying one if you are married or not, or whether you use your maiden name or not. If someone had dinner at your hotel and charged it to your room (using a completely different name) then you'd be pissed that they didn't check it, wouldn't you?

Floppy What threw me was your I signed the bill with my maiden name which sounds like, in your head, there's your husband's name or your father's name, and you don't really have one. If you'd said my name is different from my husband's then I would have understood

I think YABU, it's just because it was booked in his name and it doesn't sound like they were rude from what you said.

The confusion about the name is probably because of the way the OP reads, the mention of 'signing it in my maiden name' made me think you had a maiden name and a married name.

their words were some women not known to you was trying to purchase wine from your room, which sounds perfectly polite to me.

In what universe is that 'polite'? Really.

Borodin, I think you're just being goady, tbh. And making some prettt rude insinuations about the OP.

The point is that it's not remotely unusual for a husband and wife to have different surnames, so the hotel should have a more tactful way of dealing with this.

To be honest, I think I would be "frantic" if I was a hotel night staff who had to call a guest whose wife was really fucking annoyed.

If Hilton Garden inns aren't really that naice then perhaps the OP should lower their expectations.

Borodin, it's clearly reads that the OP didn't forget her name, she signed her maiden name. You can be married and continue to use your maiden name. I do so for professional reasons and its never caused a problem for me signing for services in hotels when booked under my DH's surname. However, I accept that, although I have stayed in Hilton's, different hotels have different protocols. I just think this hotel could have handled it better.

You seem to have made the massive assumption that the OP is having an affair in your suggestion that the OP should be grateful that the hotel 'won't information the real Mrs DH'. Pretty rude of you to accuse the OP of this as her posts reasonable suggest that she just has a different surname to her husband, nothing more.

But maiden name means a woman's original name where she takes her husbands name after marriage - hence the confusion by other posters I suspect.

Koala, Legma I think it's clear to most that my comments were meant light-heartedly. I hardly imagine that anyone would post on here complaining about the service at a hotel if their stay was illicit!

The issue here is that the OP appears to be angry at their authority being questioned, not directly at the clumsy delivery of the enquiry, the account of which differs between posts. The wine arrived and was paid for, so no problem there. It was a night staff who was probably inexperienced and intimidated by the message that they had to deliver. It is them that I have sympathy with, and it is unreasonable to expect concierge service late at night.

Is it really that unusual in your world for wives to keep their surnames?! Of all of my married friends I'd say 70% have kept their own names.

IRL, I know only 2 people who have kept their maiden name - and even then only for work (use married name too for home/family times) and they are my mum and a friend of hers. No one at all of my generation, or actually anyone else I know.

I think it was fine for the hotel to call your DH but not to call you 'some woman' - it sounds very strange! You will not be the first woman.they have encounterd with a different name to their husband.

I also didn't change my name. I occasionally meet a person who acts like this is a bad or unusual choice. I am.just glad I've got the choice!

It does sound a little odd for the hotel to behave like that. I've often gone away with friends and shared a room, we don't have the same surname! Have never had an issue.

Some woman not known to you is a weird assumption and clumsily worded. I wouldn't get wound up about it. DH and I have different surnames but have never encountered this problem. Often hotels insist on seeing the key or the bit of card that accompanies it.