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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To return clothes MIL bought for the kids?!

119 replies

Newbiecat · 17/05/2017 22:39

I'm feeling really bad. We are going on our first trip abroad as a family of 5 this summer caravaning.
My mother-in-law excitedly bundled in the door this week with a load of clothes that she bought for the children from the supermarket. She must've spent maybe a hundred pounds. When I've looked through I nearly died as almost all things are not what I would have chosen. She's bought some very illuminous shorts/tops for my daughter which are only 60% cotton and also some black vest tops. I have a thing about young children wearing black with Hashtag logos and it just isn't my thing.
Then some of the T-shirt she's bought for my son are really quite boring a complete contrast to my daughters items! It seems only the baby has a few things that I like!
I was looking forward to going to the GAP outlet shop locally and buying things myself. I just don't have the heart to tell her that I don't like them! I said we should give them some money as they hadspent quite a lot and she says maybe we could contribute. Now I'm pissed off that I might be paying for clothes I don't want!
Thankfully my daughter is only 7 and at an age where she appreciates anything bought for her really! AIBU?

OP posts:
Styturnip · 17/05/2017 22:42

Why on earth did your mil buy so many clothes for your dcs?

KeiraTwiceKnightley · 17/05/2017 22:43

Don't you dare! Your mil was doing a nice thing and was thrilled. I bet the children like the stuff too - kids love tack. Returning them just because they're not to your taste would be mean. What's to stop you going to gap anyway?

Wando1986 · 17/05/2017 22:44

"They're not really her style/they dont fit properly, do you mind if we take some back and pick some other bits?"

Ameliablue · 17/05/2017 22:44

Does your daughter like them?

123bananas · 17/05/2017 22:45

Just use them for the holiday. They will get covered in sand, mud and ice cream. They won't last long and soon they will grow out of them anyway.

NapQueen · 17/05/2017 22:46

"mil, ive already sorted the kids holiday clothes. Would you rather I returned them and got them some day to day clothes, or would you prefer to return them for a refund?"

Personally Id let the kids pick out what they like (seeing as they are the ones who wl be wearing them) and return the ones they dont like.

stella23 · 17/05/2017 22:46

Why on earth did your mil buy so many clothes for your dcs?

Maybe she thought she was being kind/was sharing in excitement/wanted to be involved.

Op next time don't offer any money, my mum is always buying my children clothes that's aren't to my taste I often take them back. You could take them back, and use that money to give to her as a contribution, not all of it mind

NapQueen · 17/05/2017 22:46

When I've looked through I nearly died

Tad dramatic.

Gileswithachainsaw · 17/05/2017 22:47

Use them for holiday or dossing clothes?

stella23 · 17/05/2017 22:47

And then buy something that you like, but just don't tell her unless she asks then say they were the wrong size

SaucyJack · 17/05/2017 22:48

They'll be fine for the holiday. Every other kid there will be in club Tropicana shorts too. Promise.

Bloody waste of money and wardrobe space tho admittedly.

Wolfiefan · 17/05/2017 22:50

Only 60% cotton? Shock
Really?
She tried to do a nice thing. Be glad she's saved you some money. Now you can afford to splash out on one or two really nice things if you want.
BTW get used to not choosing your kids' clothes OP. Few teens dress how you would choose to dress them or give a shiny shit what the % of cotton is! Grin

KC225 · 17/05/2017 22:50

Keep the clothes, the kids can have a great summer without worrying about stains or ripping anything. Perfect for holiday or wearing in the sea.

Save the gap stuff for winter

ThePinkOcelot · 17/05/2017 22:51

What's wrong with supermarket clothing?! Gap clothing is no better really. Just more expensive. You sound like a snob.

shinyredbus · 17/05/2017 22:51

Wait - you offered to contribute some money and she said yes, now youre annoyed that she's said yes to the contribution? Why did you offer in the first place?

OP - I would just tell her gently that you already had things in mind you wanted to buy for them and that the things she bought were not to your taste. THat would help for the future when she wants to buy them things, as she will consider speaking to you first to see what you thought of such and such.

feelingold101 · 17/05/2017 22:53

Love my MIL to bits but she buys the most hideous clothes for the children and ALWAYS two sizes to big (can't seem to wrap her head around the fact that yes she is 4 but is slim, not tall and slight so wears 2-3 in all bottoms and 3-4 everything else).
I've now just gotten used to saying oh great really lovely but abit to big so I'll take it back and swap it for a smaller size, I take it back and exchange for something else and say they didn't have it in the smaller size.

I have told her loads of times that she really doesn't need to buy clothes as she honestly has plenty already but just ignores me therefore I don't really feel bad as I have asked her politely not to.

HildaOg · 17/05/2017 22:54

Nothing stopping you from buying the clothes you want. You would have done anyway.

Why can't you just appreciate the kind gesture and use the clothes anyway? Kids get dirty running around and for any activity that will destroy their clothes, that's what clothes you don't like are for. They can never have enough clothes.

Oly5 · 17/05/2017 23:01

Your mil has done a kind thing. Swap a few horrendous bits without telling her and keep the rest. I think you sound ungrateful to be honest. And you offered to pay towards it.. That's your problem, not hers!

fabulous01 · 17/05/2017 23:03

I don't like my mil but she buys lots for the grandchildren. I hate most of it. It is either nursery or get exchanged.

HeddaGarbled · 17/05/2017 23:04

I don't think that you should return them. That seems rude. If you bought a gift for someone and they returned it, you'd be offended, wouldn't you?

You were daft to offer her money for them. If it's possible to forget about that, I would. If not, you'll have to pay up but never offer again. If she chooses to spend the money, that's up to her. If you don't give her any money, you can still buy what you want from Gap or wherever.

You don't have to save the clothes for the holiday and you don't have to take all the clothes on the holiday. Pick the best bits for the holiday, use the rest now (especially when you are seeing the grandparents), discreetly dispose of anything you find really offensive.

60% cotton is good, nice feel but also easy to wash and iron. 100% cotton may sound like it's better but it's much less practical for children and they won't notice any difference in comfort.

It is absolutely normal for grandparents and others to buy things for your children which you wouldn't choose yourself. People have different tastes. Don't cause a rift by making an issue out of this.

SaucyJack · 17/05/2017 23:05

Kids can most definitely have too many clothes IMO.

It's too easy to nip in to Asda or Primark and buy a new t-shirt for less than the price of a cup of coffee- then before you know it you have 20 once-worn tops languishing at the bottom of the washing mountain that were bought for a kid who wears school uniform 5 days a week. I'm really trying to get out of the disposable fashion habit. We are drowning in cheap clothes that all look the fricking same.

I know the OP was more concerned with style than quantity tho so this is more my personal bugbear than hers.

GU24Mum · 17/05/2017 23:11

I'd take them back -don't tell your children in case they let on - and don't mention it to your MIL in case she asks and even then, be fairly vague and say that you had a swap "some" sizes... I owned up to swapping (changing) something my MIL bought for my daughter when she was very little and had years of clothes coming to us with the labels cut out!!

dinosaursandtea · 17/05/2017 23:13

I think buying that much or doing it frequently is rude - it's overriding the parent or child's style with your own.

Original poster
Newbiecat · 17/05/2017 23:16

Feelingold do we have the same MIL?! that's exactly it!
shinyredbusI'm not ungrateful at all, it is very kind otherwise I wouldn't feel guilty! I absolutely hate to think of clothes not used. When I was thanking her I said "goodness you've spent loads, you really shouldn't have" to which replied " I know about £100!" She often tells me what she's spent on gifts for them, it's just how she is. I feel bad because they're needing to get a new bathroom and were struggling to pay for it so my husband offered to lend some money for it (they declined) and then she spent all this money on the kids! Hence why I suddenly spurted out " oh we must give you something for them"
wolfie Ah youve misunderstood me there.
It's the middle of France in August hence why I wanted 100% cotton stuff. And I love Tu clothing normally - I only shop there & M&S mainly so no snob here Grin
My daughter likes most of it. I think a lot of you are right it will save on the washing and at least if it gets wrecked I won't be bothered. I think I might take a few items back get the gift card that I don't have to ask for the receipt Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Newbiecat · 17/05/2017 23:20

saucy I know what you mean re disposable clothes- I think that's what's bothering me a bit too

OP posts:
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