To return clothes MIL bought for the kids?!

[Newbiecat]

I'm feeling really bad. We are going on our first trip abroad as a family of 5 this summer caravaning.
My mother-in-law excitedly bundled in the door this week with a load of clothes that she bought for the children from the supermarket. She must've spent maybe a hundred pounds. When I've looked through I nearly died as almost all things are not what I would have chosen. She's bought some very illuminous shorts/tops for my daughter which are only 60% cotton and also some black vest tops. I have a thing about young children wearing black with Hashtag logos and it just isn't my thing.
Then some of the T-shirt she's bought for my son are really quite boring a complete contrast to my daughters items! It seems only the baby has a few things that I like!
I was looking forward to going to the GAP outlet shop locally and buying things myself. I just don't have the heart to tell her that I don't like them! I said we should give them some money as they hadspent quite a lot and she says maybe we could contribute. Now I'm pissed off that I might be paying for clothes I don't want!
Thankfully my daughter is only 7 and at an age where she appreciates anything bought for her really! AIBU?

It's a shame you don't like most of the stuff and it does feel like a waste. But if your DC like it I agree I'd let them wear it. It's liberating to not care if something gets torn or stained. Though in my experience, the most disgusting clothes seem to have some bulletproof quality that resists all stains and never get damaged :)

My DD and I do seem to have similar taste but I nearly always send a pic of whatever I'm thinking of buying DGD. Like you she'd feel guilty if she didn't use it so I like to make sure she likes it before I get it. Also in case she really doesn't need a dress but does need more leggings etc. Obviously you can't ask your MIL to text you pics of whatever she's buying but truly if it makes her happy to buy clothes for the DC it's hard to tell her they aren't to your taste. I think perhaps size issues might be less of a problem - ie if you said the shorts or whatever you dislike most, don't fit and is it ok if you change them?

I totally get it, OP. My MIL is the same - always buying heaps of clothing for the kids that is not at all to my taste. As a PP said, choosing clothes for your children - for the very short period of their lives before they start choosing their own - is one of the perks of parenthood. She probably thinks she's doing me a favour, but I can easily afford clothes for them and enjoy doing so, so, to me, it's not helpful. I don't say anything as she means well and I don't want to hurt her feelings but it is a source of mild irritation.

MotherHeyho unless money is an issue, it seems a bit OTT to buy heaps of clothes I agree. I try just to get a few things when DGD grows out of stuff. There's only so much one child can wear at once really, so it does seem a waste.

I buy for my DGC and generally enclose a gift receipt so they can change them if they don't like them or they don't fit. Sometimes my kids liked things I didn't so if their gran bought something hideous but the children liked it then they didn't wear them for special occasions but for visiting gran or playing in the park they were fine. If your daughter likes them and some of the baby stuff is OK then it isn't a disaster.

Wombling I don't know what the obsession is with buying clothes but my mum, aunt and sister all do it. Constantly.

Half of it goes straight to charity unworn as they too many clothes to possibly wear them all. The other half is worn once or twice, or returned.

I keep saying just pop a fiver in their bank accounts if you have the unbeatable urge to spurge. It will be far more useful for them but they dint listen.

In their heads they feel they are 'treating' my DC's but really they are just giving to Shelter or the local hospice. I rarely see the clothes in there either so god knows where they end up. Back at source probably for 50p!

To be honest I don't think £100 between 3 kids is that OTT. £30 to £35 each isn't going to kit them out for the whole summer.

I second what a pp said about them getting ruined by sun cream, water, sand and ice cream. I'd use them for holiday. If any of your dcs attend nursery, we use any clothes we don't like as nursery clothes.

Man made fabrics are causing water polution

www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/jun/20/microfibers-plastic-pollution-oceans-patagonia-synthetic-clothes-microbeads

It's a good idea to try to avoid them. I like to try and buy organic and fairtrade if possible as at least that way I know its not been made in a sweatshop, possibly by another child, doesn't have to be expensive either.

What's wrong with mil buying clothes? my mil bought her grandkids clothes a few months ago and I was thrilled. A few of the leggings for my daughter were too big, so I went back and swapped, didn't have her size so changed it for something else.

I think this thread has digressed a bit! Me shopping in GAP for example is irrelevant really to my AIBU. I was just wondering how people would handle the situation.
My husband totally agreed with me re the clothes. He said "just get her to take them back" but I know my Mother in law can be quite sensitive and I really wouldn't want her to be hurt. My husband can upset her sometimes with fairly blunt comments so I opted not to take his advice!
I opted to keep most for spares and at least if trashed in the 2 weeks we are caravsnning I could leave them behind! I already give a lot of clothes to charity so I guess if I can't return the few items for a gift card I'll add these to them. I agree with people It's one of the lovely things about having young kids being able to choose their clothes although my daughter now takes an interest too. She will have years to come choosing her own!
Oh, by the way, for what it's worth my mum knits loads of gorgeous hoodies for the baby. She usually face times to show me wool and patterns.
Thanks for the holiday wishes - I can't wait! X

I would never do this, because I'm not so blinkered to assume that my taste in clothes would be the same as someone else's.

Instead, I would suggest buying the clothes, but then take my DIL with me to actually choose what she liked for her DCs.

I've had no conscience, over the years, giving clothes to the charity box from well-meaning (but aesthetically blind) people who have bought clothes for our DDs.

For those saying they feel hurt when the clothes they gift remain unworn and they would prefer if the kid's mum just told them they didn't like the clothes so they could return them, I'm afraid I'm cynical about this being true. If it was true, why wouldn't you give the receipts along with the clothes? Clothes are very personal so how would you like the kid's mum to tell you she doesn't like your taste in clothes without offending you? I'm genuinely interested as my own MIL insists on the kid's trying on clothes in front of her (regardless of what we are doing) and then declares that they fit and asks if I like them. I can hardly say no they are awful. She flatly refuses to give receipts but is quick to complain that she never sees the kid's wearing what she buys.

WildRose I agree. I always send or give the receipt along with whatever I buy and really wouldn't mind if DD changed them or got a refund. Though sending a pic of whatever I'm thinking of getting first, gives her the option of saying that she's not keen etc.

Newbie re how I'd handle this I think I'd keep some of the items (the ones that DC have expressed their approval of and point out to MIL that quite a bit of the haul doesn't fit so well and would she mind you changing them? Other than being brutal and saying stop buying all these flipping clothes MIL, perhaps this is one way round it?

McQueen I do it because some of my GC live hundreds of miles away and it is nice to send presents. I enclose the gift receipt so they change them if not suitable. I'm not so blinked to assume everyone's circumstances are the same.

See those that think its entitled to not want or appreciate clothes gifts or any other gifts for that matter I see the opposite. I think it's incredibly entitled to think that your taste is so wonderful that everyone else should love it. What a huge sense of self importance. I wouldn't be so presumptuous that I would expect others to like my choice, therefore i wouldn't buy clothes or anything without a gift receipt or offer of actual receipt. So I wouldn't hesitate to say they are not my taste. Sorry.

I have never bought any clothing for my 4yr DGS and I don't intend to. His other gran buys a lot of his clothes but she lives in Japan where the children's clothes are generally very well made and beautifully designed.
I really don't understand this desire to impose your will regarding what your DGC wear or play with? Surely, it's up to the parents? I think feeling upset because your adult children don't want your gifts is a bit silly if you haven't checked whether the gifts are suitable beforehand. After all, you should be used to your DC having their own opinions from the teenage years onwards.
I always ask before buying gifts although occasionally my DH will buy a toy for DGS without checking first, but that's his lookout. It might be something DGS already has or has no interest in.

McQueen I do it because

I do it because Im a hands on granny who sees at least one of her grandchildren every day and Im very clued up on whats going on with them and their needs. I also do it just because I can and Im allowed to.

All of the grandparents involved with the children are welcomed into their lives and we find this works best for us as a family. There are no fragile ego's or insecurities.

My MIL and DH's aunt do this albeit to a much lesser extent - a few tops or trousers here and there for 2yo DS. But despite using the same shops as me, none of their gifts have ever been what I would have chosen, and sometimes I think there must be a conspiracy - surely they would occasionally choose one thing that I would have chosen myself... but at least it is all generally inoffensive (although I do think this is mainly because it's for a boy rather than a girl - I can imagine some of the monstrosities MIL might buy for a girl, having seen her looking at them longingly occasionally!) and usually gets worn a few times so they can see him in it, before being consigned to the nursery drawer where it gets a lot more use than many of the clothes I choose for DS simply because he's in nursery more days than not!

Why do YOU need to like them? If your children like them, thats enough. They aren't gifts for you.