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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DH to buy this?

107 replies

Babypassport · 27/03/2017 07:16

DH got 2k bonus at work this month (hurrah!). At the weekend he bought me the most beautiful handbag for £600, by far my most expensive handbag and one I will probably use a lot.

He wants to spend the rest of the bonus on a Macbook, as he works in IT and is increasingly having to deal with Macbook related issues, so he would like to fiddle with one to get properly to grips with it.

It wouldn't be his main computer, he already has a very nice PC laptop, a desktop and a tablet. Also, I will be back at work from mat leave in a few months and will get my work Macbook back, so he would be able to play with that as much as he wants.

So the question is, AIBU and hypocritical to not want him to have his toy after he bought me my own toy? It just seems like a waste of money for something he will play with and then probably discard until it is obsolete, but then isn't a nice handbag just as wasteful?

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 27/03/2017 07:19

Sorry OP YABU. Even if it was just a toy YWBBU, but you said yourself it's for work! Which makes you doubly unreasonable IMO.

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 27/03/2017 07:19

Ah here! He was very generous spending that huge chunk of money on a bag for you!

Let him spend the rest his he pleases ....unless of course you're struggling for cash for the essentials. Then you'd have to return your bag too ;)

MirandaWest · 27/03/2017 07:19

Is it an issue of buying a MacBook at all, or spending the rest of the money on one? What would happen to the money if he didn't spend it on one?

Could he buy a second hand one or does he really yearn after a new one?

Guitargirl · 27/03/2017 07:22

Unless you need that cash for essential stuff as a family then I don't think you can claim the mac is a waste of money - unless you want to return your handbag!

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 27/03/2017 07:23

He should be able to buy what he likes with his bonus, he's the one that earned it.

I'd be returning your gift if it were me if you told me I couldn't buy myself something with my own money.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 27/03/2017 07:23

Massively unreasonable on your part. It's his money.

luckylucky24 · 27/03/2017 07:25

If he doesn't actually want the laptop long term then suggest he buys a second hand one so he doesn't blow the lot. I think that is a very reasonable compromise. If he actually wanted the mac for use then I would say YABU.

NapQueen · 27/03/2017 07:25

Yabu. There is nothing more frivolous than an expensive designer handbag. Its a piece of material with a handle that holds all your crap.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 27/03/2017 07:27

YABU

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/03/2017 07:27

You are very unreasonable.

MumoftheBoyandtheGirl · 27/03/2017 07:27

What do you want him to spend it on?

Fairylea · 27/03/2017 07:27

Yabu. If you're both spending the bonus on frivolous stuff rather than something you need (like house repairs etc) then he should be able to buy whatever he likes.

icelollycraving · 27/03/2017 07:28

Yabu. If he's bought you a bag with almost a third of the money then he can treat himself too! If your family need the money,return the bag too.

beanzie99 · 27/03/2017 07:30

I would expect the bonus to be shared 50:50 along with the rest of family money...

MeNeedSleep · 27/03/2017 07:30

Buying a bag for £600 is the biggest way of wasting money short of throwing it off a bridge. Yabvu

YouTheCat · 27/03/2017 07:31

He buys you a bag for £600 which is almost my monthly wage and you're objecting to him buying something that he can use for work with his own bonus?

YABU. Massively.

HiMyNameIsUnknown · 27/03/2017 07:33

YABVU. He's spending it on luxury items and has bought you something.
It's to help him for work.

If you have a work laptop surely it's a condition no-one else has access to it? In my work letting someone "fiddle" with a work laptop would be a sackable offence as you are responsible for the security and safety of it

MarsInScorpio · 27/03/2017 07:35

As he works in IT and only wants a Mac to become knowledgeable with OSx, he should know that he could build a hackintosh in an evening for a fraction of the cost.

He is unreasonable for wanting a Mac (I have one for work and hate it).

You are unreasonable for telling him how he can spend his money, especially after buying you such a generous gift.

Trills · 27/03/2017 07:37

I also would expect you to both get equal benefit from the bonus - either using it to buy something you both enjoy, or splitting it 50:50.

BUT his is not just a toy, it will help him do his job better.

So he is not being unreasonable to think this is a good idea.

OnionKnight · 27/03/2017 07:40

YABU, he's buying it to help further himself at work.

You can't moan unless you ask him to return your handbag.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 27/03/2017 07:41

He will find it frustrating to fiddle with..

But that's must a Mac thing...

rollonthesummer · 27/03/2017 07:47

If you are that bothered about the money-return the handbag and he can use that cash.

Presumably he doesn't need to spend the whole £1400 on a Mac just to fiddle around with? Second hand?

highinthesky · 27/03/2017 07:48

YABVU.

Although if I was on mat leave, all spare money would go into a rainy day fund.

Pencilvester · 27/03/2017 07:51

YABU. It's ok for him to spend SIX HUNDRED POUNDS on a handbag for you, but you object to him buying a laptop for himself? This can't possibly be real.

00100001 · 27/03/2017 07:55

YABU to tell him what to spend it on, but He shouldn't spend his money on a Macbook for work. If he needs to know about macs, then his work should provide one for him!

Now if he just wants a Macbook then fine.