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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

12 year old home alone in the evening?

115 replies

NotTodayBillyRay · 26/03/2017 21:36

My 12 year old was left home alone for an hour last night from 9:30 while at his dad's because the new gf's car broke down and she needed "rescuing", I'm really not happy about it! Ds said it was more like two hours but his dad swears it was one.

AIBU to be angry???

OP posts:
MongerTruffle · 26/03/2017 21:38

YANBU
The NSPCC says that under 16s should never be left alone at night.

LilacSpatula · 26/03/2017 21:39

Nope. Not ok.

Neolara · 26/03/2017 21:40

I think that's OK in exceptional circumstances provided your ds is sensible.

Darthvadersmuuuum · 26/03/2017 21:41

Was she worried or scared? If not YABU

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 26/03/2017 21:41

That's not on at all.

Why on earth didn't he just take DS with him? Or get GF to get a taxi

SteppingOnToes · 26/03/2017 21:42

I don't think an hour is unreasonable. It's not like it was all night

Buck3t · 26/03/2017 21:42

I think so. But I don't know the dynamics or your DS's maturity level. At this level I was responsible for a 18 month year old and a 6 year old.

1nsanityscatching · 26/03/2017 21:42

Well for me an hour or two at 9.30pm isn't really all that different to leaving a twelve year old during the day is it? I'm assuming that he had a phone, it would be unlikely anyone would come to the door and I'd guess he'd been fed so wouldn't be sticking on the stove. Obviously different to being left overnight but in the same position I'd have left a twelve year old to rescue someone else.

slyoldfoxystoat · 26/03/2017 21:43

Title is misleading. It was only 1 hour!

raspberrysuicide · 26/03/2017 21:43

I am constantly arguing with stbxh about this. He goes out and leaves 13 year old dd home alone all the time.

pullingmyhairout1 · 26/03/2017 21:43

I wouldn't be that fussed but my nipper was quite sensible at that age.

Fredella · 26/03/2017 21:43

NSPCC says under 16s shouldn't be left overnight rather than at night.

I would say it depends on the child and whether he was comfortable. Much better than dragging him out at that time of night.

blueskyinmarch · 26/03/2017 21:44

What does your DD feel about it? Was she okay being left? Was she given the option to go with him and chose to stay at home? I don’t think it is a massive issue to be honest.

Gallavich · 26/03/2017 21:44

What?
It was an hour. She's 12. Does she have some disability which means she needs 24/7 supervision? Because otherwise you're overreacting hugely.

fabulous01 · 26/03/2017 21:44

I used to be left home alone on a Saturday night. It was about 30 years ago... in a farmhouse in middle of nowhere but in safe times when .. well things were safe.
To this day I haven't forgotten the fear. I hated it

So ... in my view not good

TeaBelle · 26/03/2017 21:44

I would be serious at overnight, but like a pp I can't see the difference between 6;30 and 9:30.

Gallavich · 26/03/2017 21:45

YANBU The NSPCC says that under 16s should never be left alone at night

1- the NSPCC isn't law
2- that is referring to overnight not for a short time at night

titchy · 26/03/2017 21:45

It wasn't all night at all so not sure the NSPCC were quoted Hmm

Can't say I'd get massively worked up tbh. Maybe not what you'd do, but not massively negligent IMO.

chocdonutyy · 26/03/2017 21:46

If say it was ok provided ds was ok with it and knew what to do should his dad take longer than expected/what to do in case if fire etc and could get in contact easily with him or you should he need to.
He's be safer at home than going with his dad and hanging around on the roadside in the cold!

JigglyTuff · 26/03/2017 21:46

What a misleading thread title! Actually your 12 yo was left alone for an hour in the evening. What on earth is wrong with that?

pullingmyhairout1 · 26/03/2017 21:46

MongerTruffle actually they say ALL night not at night.

The child was not left all night.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/leaving-child-home-alone/

Original poster
NotTodayBillyRay · 26/03/2017 21:47

Ds is kind of sensible, I just don't feel right about it. He could have just taken him with him really, as he told ds to wait up till he got home.

I'm just worried as he has said he's thinking of leaving ds alone at night for a few hours so he can go out to the pub, maybe this was a "test" run?? He leaves ds home alone a lot which annoys me as he only sees him one night a week.

Will have a chat with ds about it. He has a phone, and knows not to answer door and things. But any little noise at home at night and he freaks out!

OP posts:
BIWI · 26/03/2017 21:48

Does your DS walk to school and home on his own?

WhisperedLoudest · 26/03/2017 21:48

The NSPCC advice is nonsensical since you could get married at 16, serve in the armed forces at 17 and huge numbers go abroad to university at 18.

If you haven't spent anytime on your own in the evenings at 16 then how on earth can you possibly be prepared for independent living.

If your 12 year old was ok with it then I think it's fine. It was one hour.

TheCakes · 26/03/2017 21:48

I'd leave my 12 year old for an hour at that time. I don't think it's terribly negligent. I know kids that age who regularly let themselves in after school.
What is your concern OP?