"It's the only thing I can't stand." Really? You're cool with racism, anti-semitism, misogyny, disablism?
I can't stand transphobia either. Discriminating against trans people or speaking about them in hateful terms is totally unacceptable.
I disagree that refusing to accept that trans women are women is transphobic hate speech. Transwomen are men, who may have had surgery, take hormones and dress differently to how men are expected to dress in our culture. That makes them trans women, not women.