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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I've massively fucked up?

106 replies

user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 03:06

Seeing a guy. Not official. Night out with girls. Dancing. Hot guy kissed me. Feel like I've cheated. Gutted.

OP posts:
MyHappyPerfume · 05/02/2017 03:10

Same thing happened to me only it was a weekend away and I kissed 3 men (I wish they were all hot). Told my BF about 6 months down the line. We are about to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. I am pretty sure he's forgotten.

Motherfuckers · 05/02/2017 03:41

What does "not official"' mean? If it means 'nothing serious', 'not exclusive' or 'just dating', then surely that is the norm? He may also be dating other people? I thought everyone did that?

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 03:57

We've not said we're in a relationship.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 05/02/2017 04:01

Do you consider yourself as being in a relationship? And if you do, why are you keeping it a secret?

LilacSpatula · 05/02/2017 04:01

Ahh, you're fine. Go to sleep and forget about it.

ChishandFips33 · 05/02/2017 04:19

Look at it as the thing that happened that made you realise you like the original guy more than you thought you probably did

SuperRainbows · 05/02/2017 04:26

I agree with ChisandFips.
Would you like to 'official'?

SuperRainbows · 05/02/2017 04:27

be 'official'

Deadsouls · 05/02/2017 04:46

I would not say you have 'massively fucked up', no. It's done. You're not in a relationship. I'd move on and just put it down to experience.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/02/2017 05:47

It's just a kiss. Remember tonight and ensure this doesn't happen again. Move on. If your relationship is meant to be, one kiss won't ruin it.

TheStoic · 05/02/2017 05:48

Your conscience is working. That's a good thing. Vow not to do it again, and then don't do it again.

picklemepopcorn · 05/02/2017 06:44

It's early days. Let it go.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/02/2017 06:48

Yeah it's only cheating if there's an actual relationship. The way you're feeling seems like it might be time to make it official?

DoctorTwo · 05/02/2017 07:12

Seeing a guy. Not official

I don't think you've done owt wrong.

DonaldStott · 05/02/2017 07:15

Think you're over analysing after a few drinks. Forget about it.

caffelatte100 · 05/02/2017 07:19

It all sounds ok to me, perhaps this means you want to be exclusive?

BeverlyGoldberg · 05/02/2017 07:26

"I was out the other night and this guy came on to me and kissed me. I didn't like it, it made me feel like I don't want to kiss other boys because I only want to kiss you. How do you feel about only kissing me? Shall we make this official"

Miserylovescompany2 · 05/02/2017 08:02

I think you are stuck in limbo and want that exclusive GF label. As the saying goes here up North "shy bairns get nowt" so ASK if he wants you as a GF? The worst he can say is "hell no, I only want a fuck buddy" at least then you know where you stand. Depending on his answer? You can cut your loses or start a relationship...

(He might actually say...I thought we were? Then I'd develop a sudden case of selective amnesia over the kiss)

The kiss? Forget it :)

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:10

I sent him a text straight after and told him. I don't want to lie to him before we even get together properly. I spent the night drunk texting him telling him how much i like him and then I go and kiss hot guy on the dance floor!

We're not exclusive and have both agreed were taking things slow whatever that means.

OP posts:
lampshady · 05/02/2017 08:19

Re: your last post - I'd put this one to bed. If someone I was casually seeing was drunkenly texting me how much they liked me and then told me they'd kissed someone I'd think they were slightly erratic and possibly a bit full on. It sounds like he's leading the pace anyway and you don't have much control of your relationship status? Do you want to be exclusive?

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:22

Eventually yes I want to be exclusive. But I wanted to take things slow for now. Not slow enough for me to be kissing randomers on a night out though which I haven't done since I was about 21 Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:24

lamp what do you mean you'd put it to bed? The guy I'm seeing or what I did?

OP posts:
lampshady · 05/02/2017 08:45

The guy you're seeing, sorry - I'm not very clear. Did he reply to your messages positively? I don't think you owe him exclusivity if he's been clear to you it's not exclusive. Not a nice feeling for you at the moment but try not to dwell on it. It might all be fine!

Casschops · 05/02/2017 08:48

Forget it, put the kiss to bed. Don't do it again and see it as sign to make it official with the other bloke xx

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:48

He gave me a hard time about it but said he stI'll wants to carry on seeing me.

OP posts:
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