Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I've massively fucked up?

106 replies

user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 03:06

Seeing a guy. Not official. Night out with girls. Dancing. Hot guy kissed me. Feel like I've cheated. Gutted.

OP posts:
MyHappyPerfume · 05/02/2017 03:10

Same thing happened to me only it was a weekend away and I kissed 3 men (I wish they were all hot). Told my BF about 6 months down the line. We are about to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. I am pretty sure he's forgotten.

Motherfuckers · 05/02/2017 03:41

What does "not official"' mean? If it means 'nothing serious', 'not exclusive' or 'just dating', then surely that is the norm? He may also be dating other people? I thought everyone did that?

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 03:57

We've not said we're in a relationship.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 05/02/2017 04:01

Do you consider yourself as being in a relationship? And if you do, why are you keeping it a secret?

LilacSpatula · 05/02/2017 04:01

Ahh, you're fine. Go to sleep and forget about it.

ChishandFips33 · 05/02/2017 04:19

Look at it as the thing that happened that made you realise you like the original guy more than you thought you probably did

SuperRainbows · 05/02/2017 04:26

I agree with ChisandFips.
Would you like to 'official'?

SuperRainbows · 05/02/2017 04:27

be 'official'

Deadsouls · 05/02/2017 04:46

I would not say you have 'massively fucked up', no. It's done. You're not in a relationship. I'd move on and just put it down to experience.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/02/2017 05:47

It's just a kiss. Remember tonight and ensure this doesn't happen again. Move on. If your relationship is meant to be, one kiss won't ruin it.

TheStoic · 05/02/2017 05:48

Your conscience is working. That's a good thing. Vow not to do it again, and then don't do it again.

picklemepopcorn · 05/02/2017 06:44

It's early days. Let it go.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/02/2017 06:48

Yeah it's only cheating if there's an actual relationship. The way you're feeling seems like it might be time to make it official?

DoctorTwo · 05/02/2017 07:12

Seeing a guy. Not official

I don't think you've done owt wrong.

DonaldStott · 05/02/2017 07:15

Think you're over analysing after a few drinks. Forget about it.

caffelatte100 · 05/02/2017 07:19

It all sounds ok to me, perhaps this means you want to be exclusive?

BeverlyGoldberg · 05/02/2017 07:26

"I was out the other night and this guy came on to me and kissed me. I didn't like it, it made me feel like I don't want to kiss other boys because I only want to kiss you. How do you feel about only kissing me? Shall we make this official"

Miserylovescompany2 · 05/02/2017 08:02

I think you are stuck in limbo and want that exclusive GF label. As the saying goes here up North "shy bairns get nowt" so ASK if he wants you as a GF? The worst he can say is "hell no, I only want a fuck buddy" at least then you know where you stand. Depending on his answer? You can cut your loses or start a relationship...

(He might actually say...I thought we were? Then I'd develop a sudden case of selective amnesia over the kiss)

The kiss? Forget it :)

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:10

I sent him a text straight after and told him. I don't want to lie to him before we even get together properly. I spent the night drunk texting him telling him how much i like him and then I go and kiss hot guy on the dance floor!

We're not exclusive and have both agreed were taking things slow whatever that means.

OP posts:
lampshady · 05/02/2017 08:19

Re: your last post - I'd put this one to bed. If someone I was casually seeing was drunkenly texting me how much they liked me and then told me they'd kissed someone I'd think they were slightly erratic and possibly a bit full on. It sounds like he's leading the pace anyway and you don't have much control of your relationship status? Do you want to be exclusive?

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:22

Eventually yes I want to be exclusive. But I wanted to take things slow for now. Not slow enough for me to be kissing randomers on a night out though which I haven't done since I was about 21 Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:24

lamp what do you mean you'd put it to bed? The guy I'm seeing or what I did?

OP posts:
lampshady · 05/02/2017 08:45

The guy you're seeing, sorry - I'm not very clear. Did he reply to your messages positively? I don't think you owe him exclusivity if he's been clear to you it's not exclusive. Not a nice feeling for you at the moment but try not to dwell on it. It might all be fine!

Casschops · 05/02/2017 08:48

Forget it, put the kiss to bed. Don't do it again and see it as sign to make it official with the other bloke xx

Original poster
user1485102013 · 05/02/2017 08:48

He gave me a hard time about it but said he stI'll wants to carry on seeing me.

OP posts: