AIBU to feel sad that I've never done it vertical?

[littleoysterslittleoysters]

The sink bonking thread got me thinking... I've never done it standing up and as a good size 18 with a chunky dh I probably never will....

Its always looked so hot and sexy to be lifted entirely by a fit bloke with your legs wrapped round 'em or possibly supported against a wall... *starts to dream

Am I missing out? Come on fit MNers tell me? Maybe I should have done this in my youth? Surely you have to be fairly fit and it requires a good core?

Is this worth getting down the gym for or not all it cracked up to be? I feel my time is running out...

I did it vertically for about two minutes last week, it was good but couldn't really move much myself and started feeling self-conscious about my weight. Seems over-rated to me.

I suspected it might be, but it looks amazing....

I think if your weight is holding you back from things you'd like to try (sex and the rest!) then you owe it to yourself to shift it! I don't mean that flippantly. I know how hard it actually is, but maybe this is a goal that will work for you? Good luck! If you lose the weight and don't enjoy the position, you wont regret the weight loss.

My husband is 20 years older than me I think i'd need a defibrillator on standby even if I lost half my body weight...

Done it. It was uncomfortable and difficult in rl but maybe dh and I are the wrong height to make it work.

It's crap don't bother!

So no one appears to like it... Okay then.... *reaches for malteasers....

A knee-trembler?

I have done it facing the wall (piv, not up the Oxo Tower) and it was racey it was at work

Also done it in the woods up against a tree

I've never been picked up but I've had sex standing up, me facing the wall. It was rather good.

Overrated, spend the whole time wondering if DPs back or knees were going to give out

I really like it but I need something to rest one foot on. We're a similar height.
For any sex to be good you have to feel comfortable - if you feel uncomfortable you're never going to be relaxed enough to enjoy it.

Me facing the wall yes, me being picked up , yes. But it was like 20 odd years ago, there wouldn't be a hope I could do it now!

Facing a wall... OOOooo that seems doable... *puts down malteasers and stares at a sleeping dh....

Hmm, can't say it was any good. Awkward, stiff and well not very fun. Not my favourite position!

Tried this once the whole picked up thing . Not quite like I'm the films . Basically fell over . I'm to tall

It's okay in your twenties.When you come in to an empty flat from a night out and can't wait to make it out of the hall.

I'm not sure I have the balance or stamina anymore. It's just a faff even if such a miracle as a tidy empty house ever happened

In the films *

In the films, he carries her to a handy countertop and continues there, knocking food erotically out of the way.

Imagine the food stains, the germs.... You'd be Cillit Banging for hours.

dh has politely declined tonight but "Maybe at the weekend" - Lucky me!

God yes the whole knocking everything over . I'd have to check nothing was broken and start cleaning up

Another vote for overrated, and I'm in my 20s 🙄 There's a foot height difference between me & dp so maybe that's why..

Thanks for distracting me from news at 10!

(The answer is yes btw)

It's shit. DP did it on our first sex date (2 months in) to try and impress. It did not. It's never the right angle/comfortable.

Manumission, surely one would use Zoflora.

Hmmm. My problem is that DH is over a foot taller than me. Any of this kind of carry on is more effort than it's worth.