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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel sad that I've never done it vertical?

119 replies

littleoysterslittleoysters · 23/01/2017 21:16

The sink bonking thread got me thinking... I've never done it standing up and as a good size 18 with a chunky dh I probably never will....

Its always looked so hot and sexy to be lifted entirely by a fit bloke with your legs wrapped round 'em or possibly supported against a wall... *starts to dream

Am I missing out? Come on fit MNers tell me? Maybe I should have done this in my youth? Surely you have to be fairly fit and it requires a good core?

Is this worth getting down the gym for or not all it cracked up to be? I feel my time is running out...

OP posts:
SpudULiked · 23/01/2017 22:15

Im thinking of how you could multi task, if facing a wall.

Write a shopping list.
Paint wall.
Hang a picture.
Polish windows.

DJBaggySmalls · 23/01/2017 22:15

Friends of mine did it in a hotel shower, and the door got stuck. They had to wait an hour for the maid, then shout for her to let them out.
The next day they did it up against the bathroom door and ditto Grin

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 23/01/2017 22:17

uh-huh "friends", rightyho DJBaggy.

Mindtrope · 23/01/2017 22:21

Tried it- over rated. I like my comfort when having sex.

PickledCauliflower · 23/01/2017 22:22

The angle is all wrong (unless I have a weird misplaced fanny), walls are quite rigid (so you hurt the back of your head) and how many people are a matched height with their partner for this to actually work?
I think the woman has to be taller for starters..

salsamad · 23/01/2017 22:22

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a little more adventurous, but other posters are right that you need to feel relaxed and comfortable, or you will feel self conscious.
Me and my DH have been together 25 yrs and ive been picked up whilst we are having sex, had sex in the shower, against the wall, on the stairs, on the kitchen worktop, sitting on a table and in a pool. It's always great Grin.
It helps that my DH has a very physical job and is quite a muscular, as I'm definitely no size 8 at 9st 9lb.

Mindtrope · 23/01/2017 22:23

It is on the same list as having sex on a beach, or in the sea. Seems interesting, but doesn't work very well.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 23/01/2017 22:27

I have the v fit bloke and I'm little, not a HUGE height difference, still not impressed. I mean it's good, but not worth the hassle

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 23/01/2017 22:32

It's way overrated, along with sex in the shower, use of whipped cream, beach, sea, and so on.

Toadinthehole · 23/01/2017 22:36

Have done it once or twice: DW facing (and leaning against) the wall, me behind. It knocked the hell out of my knees even though I'm pretty agile. I think I .. ahem.. 'made it' but neither of us have been anxious to make it a regular thing.

I think insanely high heels (worn by dw) would make it easier for me if we tried again.

Actual lifting? Forget it: that's porn movie stuff.

Justaboy · 23/01/2017 22:38

It is overrated, put my back out some years ago now with that caper she sort of slipped and i caught her whole weight at an awkward angle;(

Not good!

nursy1 · 23/01/2017 22:38

I've done it years ago but broke shower door. Cost lots to get fixed.

Original poster
littleoysterslittleoysters · 23/01/2017 22:47

Actual lifting? Forget it: that's porn movie stuff.

Good to know I haven't missed out.

OP posts:
starskey80 · 23/01/2017 22:53

Well attempted it in the shower but ex was a good foot taller so didn't really work.
Did do it lots with me perched on counter top or table, that was funGrin
New fella isn't much taller than me and we've done it standing but with me facing wall. Might work facing each other if I wore heels. Hmmmm may have to be attempted lol

wonderingsoul · 23/01/2017 22:54

Facing the wall/ cooker....just dont do it while trying to cook something that needs watching/constant stiring....

Being picked up in the pool/sea is also nice imo.. takes the weight of him and makes me feel more confident.

PickAChew · 23/01/2017 22:56

And there was me thinking this would be a thread about folding.

It's crap, anyhow (and DH's legs are way longer than mine!)

WildBelle · 23/01/2017 22:58

Did it a couple of weeks ago (bf is a great big rufty tufty thing) and it wasn't particularly comfortable. Hurt my spine against the wall.

MillionToOneChances · 23/01/2017 23:02

Used to do this a lot because ex found it a huge turn on. Back against wardrobe (warmer than wall), foot up on bed... didn't do anywhere near as much for me as it did for him so we often used to move on to positions we both enjoyed equally after a while.

CrabbyJo · 23/01/2017 23:03

Manumission
Cillit Banging, possibly my favourite post ever Grin

drinkyourmilk · 23/01/2017 23:04

We tried standing up. I slipped in his grip and he over compensated, ended up in a heap on the floor. Very funny though!
Shower sex is a bit of a let down too for us. I'm too short, and our house is freezing so there's a bit of a tussle to get under the shower head.
I think we need an actual surface.

Twinkleheth · 23/01/2017 23:09

In my student days we had a narrow bathroom - so with my back against the wall and feet resting on the bath, and boy standing up in between the bath and me, we had an amazing time. I wasn't tiny but I was helping A LOT by having my feet on the bath. It was fast and furious. I've also been picked up and walked to the bed by a particularly favourite boy which almost made me go Oo (lyric by Sugarbabes)

chinam · 23/01/2017 23:14

This is one of the funniest, and most informative, threads I've ever read. Thank you all.

dirtyprettything · 23/01/2017 23:17

Worked for me in my 20s when I weighed 7.5 stone. Not now, thank you!

ChippyDucks · 23/01/2017 23:17

It's distracting and uncomfortable. Dh is tall and strong and can lift me up no problem but it does nothing for me
I also like comfort when I'm canoodling. Strangely, if my feet are cold then I can't cum/ come I'm never sure of the spelling of it either

Orlandointhewilderness · 23/01/2017 23:28

Tried it in my yoof. Picking up is bloody uncomfortable and never quite 'right'. Him behind can work though if you are the right heights or have very high heels.