AIBU to feel sad that I've never done it vertical?

[littleoysterslittleoysters]

The sink bonking thread got me thinking... I've never done it standing up and as a good size 18 with a chunky dh I probably never will....

Its always looked so hot and sexy to be lifted entirely by a fit bloke with your legs wrapped round 'em or possibly supported against a wall... *starts to dream

Am I missing out? Come on fit MNers tell me? Maybe I should have done this in my youth? Surely you have to be fairly fit and it requires a good core?

Is this worth getting down the gym for or not all it cracked up to be? I feel my time is running out...

What they never show in films etc is all the 'if you just put your leg there....', 'hang on, just shift you bum to the right a bit...'.

The angle never worked for me

You can stand facing your partner on the higher step to allow for the height difference with one leg wrapped around him. Or face the steps on your knees and he can do it from behind. Or use kitchen counter and perch on edge - corner ones are even better. Shower if good and warm he can sit on the floor and you sit on him. Possibilities are endless!! (If you can be arsed!!) 😁

I've done it a few times but it was more where we were doing it that was the turn on rather than the position. Something like a kitchen top is good though and would count as vertical! Happy shagging!

Foot height difference here too. We have done it (eg in shower) but it's tough on the thighs for both of us, DP has to crouch and I have to tiptoe. On steps might work I suppose.

Legs wrapped around doesn't work, DP can lift me no problem but moving is too much work.

Too much effort.
I can imagine a hulking great big strong bloke and a very slim light woman being able to do this effectively but otherwise not!

Everything looks great in films, very rarely accurate & this certainly isn't. Same as shower sex, fun for about a minute then you realise there's not enough room & you get an odd drowning feeling as you're getting so much spray in your face... Not sexy, at all

Hell yeah...in the shower. Nice....mmmmmmm

shut up all of you! YABVVU even talking about it in front of a woman whose DH refuses to consider it anywhere except in bed. For 25years.
So now I won't consider it anywhere at all.

Oh I forgot the shower shag when I burnt myself !!

Ah see I'm quite happy not doing all that anymore. We had plenty of that both indoors and out in our early days, in fact we barely shagged in a bed at first 😂 But I feel like we have had our time. Bed is enough for me now. 😳😜

And yes I'm quite happy with bed . Or sofa . Much more comfy on the creaking joints 😂

Same as shower sex [...] you get an odd drowning feeling as you're getting so much spray in your face

SNIGGER

I'm 5'3", my DH is 6'4"....so vertical sex is a logistical nightmare! Though it can be done!
I agree with others though - shower sex is where it's at
Was our favourite venue pre-kids. Now if we even attempted it, my almost 2yo would have a shit fit because she wasn't in the shower with me

I wouldn't mind a go on the kitchen counter, or even the stairs sounds good.
Bedroom not spontaneous enough for me.

Problem is the adult kids who still live at home

Oh roll on the day when they have moved out, will have to take keys off them so no err surprise visits

Utterly overrated. Tried on numerous occasions but just doesn't work for me!

Whoever mentioned Apple Tree Yard... crikey that's a lot of vertical shagging (although never seems to last very long...)

Stairs are overrated IMO. They just dig in. :o

Only a handful of times (maybe three) coming home drunk, uncomfortable, awkward, and on the last occasion short lived as he took a cramp in his leg!