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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask someone not to walk down a footpath at night ?

483 replies

Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple · 21/01/2017 23:50

We live in the country, at the end of a private lane. This is also a footpath.
For the last few months our dogs have been barking madly about 11o clock at night. We put it down to foxes but I find it really unnerving, especially if dh is away.
One night, just before Xmas, the barking was worse and it sounded like the dogs had got out. It was about 11.30. Dh went downstairs and opened the front door to see if he could see our dog but there was a guy standing on the doorstep. He said that he had come to apologise because he had been walking his dog in the lane and it had got through the fence into our sheep field and he thought it might have chased the sheep . ( sheep all fine in case worried).
He gave dh his card and said that he walks his dog at night as its not good with other dog. From his business card I think he is a bit of a techy up late at night gamer type anyway, who probably doesn't find it weird to be walking at that time.
Since then we have realised that it's his walking down the lane that upsets the dogs as they bark, shut up and then bark again in the amount of time it would take to go past the house to the end of the lane and then back again.
I have his email address, do you think it ok to send him a polite message, just explaining how much this freaks me out and ask him to not walk past the house after a certain time, pretty please ? There is a big field , with a footpath in it, just before the start of our drive so it's not like he couldn't walk anywhere, just not the ten minute walk up the lane past the house and back. Obviously I appreciate I can't stop him, just point out its a bit antisocial?
Am I being precious ? It just really scares me ( and dd)

OP posts:
Atticmatic · 21/01/2017 23:53

A tad precious and it's a bit like asking someone not to park outside your house. You have no right to ask so shouldn't.

OneWithTheForce · 21/01/2017 23:55

It just really scares me ( and dd)

How can it scare you when you know exactly what it is? Confused
Is the lane your lane? If so of course you can tell him not to be on it but if not then I don't think you can.

JennyHolzersGhost · 21/01/2017 23:56

I think if it was me I'd email him and say that I just wanted to check if it was him walking at those times because the dogs go crazy and it's been waking up you and your husband and you were wondering whether there's someone out there.

I think any reasonable person would take the hint.

(also I'd not let him know I was at home alone)

SanitysSake · 21/01/2017 23:58

I'd personally try to engage him face to face in the daylight. Maybe get your other half to do it in a nice way. If it's scaring you - it's not cool... Maybe he'll be receptive to that as his animal did escape into your field...

dollydaydream114 · 21/01/2017 23:59

If it's a public footpath, then I think maybe you are being a bit unreasonable. He has every right to walk on it at any time he wants. If you lived on a street, no matter how quiet it was, you wouldn't expect to be able to ask people not to walk past your house at night on a public pavement (even if it made your dogs bark) and a public footpath in the country is no different. It's not his fault that you are 'freaked out' by someone going for a walk late at night, and it's not his fault that your dogs bark when someone walks past.

I do get why you are finding this annoying (I grew up in a house that backed on to a field and people would sometimes walk past either late at night or early morning, and our dogs used to bark at them too, so I know it can be irritating) but I think that if the lane is a public footpath, you just have to live with it. There is really nothing weird about taking a dog out late at night - lots of people do walk their dogs just before bed so the dog settles down for the night.

OneWithTheForce · 22/01/2017 00:00

Are any of your sheep due to lamb? If so I'd email him letting him know and asking him to keep his dog on the lead when on your lane due to the risks of sheep miscarrying. He may decide that he would prefer to walk elsewhere where he and let it off lead.

CommonFramework · 22/01/2017 00:02

Can't you train your dogs not to bark at someone walking along the lane? Fair enough to bark at someone on your property, but very tedious to bark at someone just walking along by your house.

PickAChew · 22/01/2017 00:03

Yes, YABU. You can't police how people walk on property that isn't yours and not a public bridalway.

GlitteryFluff · 22/01/2017 00:05

I'd do what jenny said

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 22/01/2017 00:08

Yep, what Jenny said. Dogs go crazy and maybe emphasise that it freaks you out when they're going mad at that time of night.

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2017 00:10

Dear god

Your dogs are your responsibility. If they bark and wake you up, it's down to you to do something about that.

BackforGood · 22/01/2017 00:12

Yes, YABU.
He is perfectly reasonable to walk his dog when he chooses, and where he chooses (as long as it is a public right of way).
As you say you know it is him, then why are you worried when your dogs hear him ? Confused

Topseyt · 22/01/2017 00:12

If it is a public footpath then you would be very unreasonable to do this. He has every right to walk there with his dog whenever he wishes to.

I presume he isn't threatening you in any way. You have to let it go or you will come across as very precious.

BigBadWolves · 22/01/2017 00:13

Weirdest thing I've heard on here Grin yes this is highly unreasonable. Lock your door and leave people alone.

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2017 00:14

And it's far from 'antisocial' too.

The guy's just walking his dog.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/01/2017 00:14

Good grief, I'm literally done with this place. You want to stop someone using a footpath? Your dogs are your problem. Jeez Louise...

KarmaNoMore · 22/01/2017 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/01/2017 00:15

And also, you've gone way beyond precious. Precious is a tiny bit of glitter right now.

PurpleDaisies · 22/01/2017 00:15

As others have said, you can't ask someone not to walk down a public footpath because you don't like it. It would be different if he was walking through your garden but he had every right to be there and the only reason its a problem is your own dogs don't like him.

Politix · 22/01/2017 00:15

I think you could ask him. It sounds like it wouldn't make ny odds to him. Just be super polite and make it clear you realise that you realise you are asking a favour of him. It sounds like you were reasonable with him when his dog escaped so chances are he would remember you as nice people.

OneWithTheForce · 22/01/2017 00:17

You could just bring your dogs in the house.

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2017 00:17

Making a comment even in a jokey way, is still implying that this man is responsible for the OP's dogs.

I'm a dog owner. No-one is responsible for my dog or how he reacts, other than me and my DH Confused

namechange102 · 22/01/2017 00:18

YABU. The problem is your dogs barking, not someone walking past. Fair enough if he was in your garden /house, but he's not. I hope any neighbours are far enough away not to be disturbed, as neighbours' barking dogs can be very unsociable. As pp suggested, can you train them out of it?

Politix · 22/01/2017 00:18

The OP isn't thinking of 'stopping' the guy or of 'policing' the footpath she was just thinking of politely asking him if he could alter his walk.

Salmotrutta · 22/01/2017 00:19

If it's a public footpath you are mad to consider asking him to stop or telling him it's antisocial.

You have obviously lived in a bubble or something if you think a dog walker is anti social.

Is he at least a drug dealing dog walker?

Or a Dogger?