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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask someone not to walk down a footpath at night ?

483 replies

Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple · 21/01/2017 23:50

We live in the country, at the end of a private lane. This is also a footpath.
For the last few months our dogs have been barking madly about 11o clock at night. We put it down to foxes but I find it really unnerving, especially if dh is away.
One night, just before Xmas, the barking was worse and it sounded like the dogs had got out. It was about 11.30. Dh went downstairs and opened the front door to see if he could see our dog but there was a guy standing on the doorstep. He said that he had come to apologise because he had been walking his dog in the lane and it had got through the fence into our sheep field and he thought it might have chased the sheep . ( sheep all fine in case worried).
He gave dh his card and said that he walks his dog at night as its not good with other dog. From his business card I think he is a bit of a techy up late at night gamer type anyway, who probably doesn't find it weird to be walking at that time.
Since then we have realised that it's his walking down the lane that upsets the dogs as they bark, shut up and then bark again in the amount of time it would take to go past the house to the end of the lane and then back again.
I have his email address, do you think it ok to send him a polite message, just explaining how much this freaks me out and ask him to not walk past the house after a certain time, pretty please ? There is a big field , with a footpath in it, just before the start of our drive so it's not like he couldn't walk anywhere, just not the ten minute walk up the lane past the house and back. Obviously I appreciate I can't stop him, just point out its a bit antisocial?
Am I being precious ? It just really scares me ( and dd)

OP posts:
PlanIsNoPlan · 22/01/2017 00:19

Oh please do send an email saying to this very reasonable person that you're a bit freaked out because your dogs bark when he walks down the public footpath. Frankly, the fact your dogs bark is an added layer of security that you should welcome. So, have you thought through how you will word this email? Shame the countryside has got so expensive that those of us that would say thanks to this man, our sheep are ok,, now have to live in towns because it's all we can afford. Enjoy your rural idyll.

Salmotrutta · 22/01/2017 00:21

Why should the man alter his walk Politix?

It isn't his fault she has mad dogs.

Lunar1 · 22/01/2017 00:22

Is this a joke? I can't tell anymore.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/01/2017 00:22

Politix and her aim by speaking to him is... to stop him walking past with the dog. Jeez there's semantics and there is bleeding ridiculous statements.

Salmotrutta · 22/01/2017 00:22

And absolutely what PlanIsNoPlan says!!

mumblechum0 · 22/01/2017 00:23

Personally I find it very irritating when peoples' dogs bark when I walk past their houses on public footpaths and wonder why they haven't trained them not to.
I also feel intensely sorry for their neighbours

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2017 00:24

The OP isn't thinking of 'stopping' the guy or of 'policing' the footpath she was just thinking of politely asking him if he could alter his walk.

And while she's at it, she could ask ice cream vans to stop selling ice creams if her child cries for one.

She could ask shops to keep their cakes and doughnuts out of their window displays, if she's on a diet.

Maybe contact all the holiday companies and ask them to stop advertising holidays, because right now she can't afford one.

Crumbs1 · 22/01/2017 00:25

Silly idea. He has perfect right to walk on public footpath. Issue is your dogs are not trained to refrain from barking.

mumofthemonsters808 · 22/01/2017 00:27

No I wouldn't because I wouldn't want a stranger knowing I was home alone sometimes. I'd put up with my dogs barking, that's what dogs do, they are drawing your attention to the fact someone is there.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 22/01/2017 00:27

YABU!

He's on a footpath, not your property, so you can put up with it or train your dogs not to bark.

My dog's managed to learn not to bark at people passing and he does occassionally growl at his farts for waking him so he's definitely not some dog genius.

RB68 · 22/01/2017 00:28

They haven't trained them not t bark no doubt due to the high level of crime in country areas and the fact that they are probably really guard dogs as a result. It's a lane that clearly only goes up past their house and back again.

I think you can as nicely as a favour but not insist and realise that he has a right to walk there if a public rd/footpath. Although frankly walking a dog in the middle of the night is a bit suspect to be honest

user1477282676 · 22/01/2017 00:29

My DH walks our dog at night as he's also not good with other dogs. My DH isn't weird at all. Hmm

YABU to ask him not to....there's a man who walks his dogs past my back garden every night and without fail, my dog goes nuts about it...I just wave and tell the dog to be quiet.

Politix · 22/01/2017 00:31

Ffs Paul no need to be so bolshy Hmm . She wasn't thinking of TELLING him to stop, she was thinking of politely 'requesting' he alter his walk. pretty please There is a huge difference between the two things. One would be completely out of order and one would be ok.

Worra. Your examples are really ridiculous.

HeddaGarbled · 22/01/2017 00:31

Now that you know who it is you don't need to be unnerved or scared even when your husband is away, do you?

Rachel0Greep · 22/01/2017 00:34

Personally I find it very irritating when peoples' dogs bark when I walk past their houses on public footpaths and wonder why they haven't trained them not to. I also feel intensely sorry for their neighbours

Agreed. There is a house on our estate, on the main road in and out of the estate where a horrid little dog goes berserk because people are walking by on the PUBLIC footpath.

No, I wouldn't be sending emails, OP.

foxyloxy78 · 22/01/2017 00:36

What Jenny said

poshme · 22/01/2017 00:36

YABU we used to live next to a footpath & our dog used to bark when people walked past. Then she decided not to bother!

I wouldn't have dreamed of asking people not to walk down it!

If I got an email asking me not to walk somewhere that's a public right of way cos your dogs bark I'd think you were very odd.

Unicorndreamer · 22/01/2017 00:39

YABFU

MistressMerryWeather · 22/01/2017 00:40

Could you move the dogs?

I bet the scare the people who use that path a lot more than they scare you.

MistressMerryWeather · 22/01/2017 00:41

they**

DoJo · 22/01/2017 00:42

Do you mean it is antisocial to have dogs that make that much racket when people walk past? Because I agree that it is, but I don't think you can make that his problem.

jacks11 · 22/01/2017 00:43

YABU and more than a tad precious. Especially the part about e-mailing him to "point out that he is being a bit antisocial" by using the footpath! I cannot see that what he is doing is antisocial- your problem is your dogs barking, not the man walking his dog down the footpath. You need to do some work with your dogs. And also, if you know it is him causes the dogs to bark, surely this is less frightening than an unknown cause?

I wouldn't email at all, but if you really must do so I think you need to make it very clear that you know he has a right to walk on the path and that what you are asking is a favour. Being told he is "antisocial" for using a public footpath is likely to cause annoyance. If he declines, you need to accept gracefully and seriously look into working with your dogs to reduce their barking if it causes you so much anxiety.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/01/2017 00:44

Bolshy? For pointing out your comment was stupid? Worra's statement was to highlight the level of stupidity in your comment and the entitlement in the op's. Definitely not ridiculous. No one was offensive, calm it.

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2017 00:45

Worra.Your examples are really ridiculous.

They are examples of people who rather than take responsibility, expect others to do it for them.

I agree they are really ridiculous.

As is the idea the OP should email a dog walker and ask him not to walk his dog past her house, rather than take responsibility for her own dogs barking.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/01/2017 00:45

^ that was for Politix.