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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask someone not to walk down a footpath at night ?

483 replies

Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple · 21/01/2017 23:50

We live in the country, at the end of a private lane. This is also a footpath.
For the last few months our dogs have been barking madly about 11o clock at night. We put it down to foxes but I find it really unnerving, especially if dh is away.
One night, just before Xmas, the barking was worse and it sounded like the dogs had got out. It was about 11.30. Dh went downstairs and opened the front door to see if he could see our dog but there was a guy standing on the doorstep. He said that he had come to apologise because he had been walking his dog in the lane and it had got through the fence into our sheep field and he thought it might have chased the sheep . ( sheep all fine in case worried).
He gave dh his card and said that he walks his dog at night as its not good with other dog. From his business card I think he is a bit of a techy up late at night gamer type anyway, who probably doesn't find it weird to be walking at that time.
Since then we have realised that it's his walking down the lane that upsets the dogs as they bark, shut up and then bark again in the amount of time it would take to go past the house to the end of the lane and then back again.
I have his email address, do you think it ok to send him a polite message, just explaining how much this freaks me out and ask him to not walk past the house after a certain time, pretty please ? There is a big field , with a footpath in it, just before the start of our drive so it's not like he couldn't walk anywhere, just not the ten minute walk up the lane past the house and back. Obviously I appreciate I can't stop him, just point out its a bit antisocial?
Am I being precious ? It just really scares me ( and dd)

OP posts:
DesolateWaist · 22/01/2017 08:35

If it's a private road then you have every right to ask him not to.

PenelopeFlintstone · 22/01/2017 08:35

Well, I did think you were BU if the dogs were outside (and barking at passersby like my own do) but after reading that update I think you're not. If there's another good route for him to walk he probably wouldn't mind. Maybe catch him during the day and ask him smilingly and buy him a case of beer for being accommodating?

OliviaBenson · 22/01/2017 08:36

Yabu. We have reactive dogs so walk them really late. He's doing nothing wrong.

OliviaBenson · 22/01/2017 08:37

If it's a public right of way it doesn't matter that it's your private road. He's allowed to use it.

Your dogs are the issue here, it's not him.

Original poster
Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple · 22/01/2017 08:38

Am not a troll, was asleep, after having been woken up by the midnight walker and going back to bed!
There are no neighbours to be disturbed by the dogs.
It's impossible to train the dogs because he doesn't do it every night, just does it for a few nights then stops then starts again, and I actually do want them to bark if there is suspicious activity at night.
Does no one genuinely think that knocking on the door of a house, in the middle of nowhere, with all the lights off at nearly midnight is not just a bit odd ? Seriously?

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom1 · 22/01/2017 08:38

"He's nothing wrong." Again, his dog got into a field of sheep Hmm.

OP, look at JennyHolzersGhost post on the first page and go with that.

MargotLovedTom1 · 22/01/2017 08:39

Yes, I do think it's odd and I agree with you about the dogs.

MargotLovedTom1 · 22/01/2017 08:40

Quote should say "He's doing nothing wrong."

atheistmantis · 22/01/2017 08:41
Biscuit
Secretsweets · 22/01/2017 08:45

I'd be pissed off too, so it's a private road/footpath ? As in no public footpath signs ? No right of way ? Not a bridle path ? Nothing.

Andrewofgg · 22/01/2017 08:46

It's a public footpath, he's using it, and your dogs are bothering you. How is it his problem?

Secretsweets · 22/01/2017 08:47

Also what person in their right mind would knock at a house at midnight when it's in darkness so clearly indicating the occupants are all in bed asleep.

Not like you had music banging and all the lights on so obviously up. It's weird. And it would bother me too..

AwaywiththePixies27 · 22/01/2017 08:52

Does no one genuinely think that knocking on the door of a house, in the middle of nowhere, with all the lights off at nearly midnight is not just a bit odd ? Seriously?

Yes I do. But you said in your OP he did that to apologise because his dog got into your field of sheep and I got the impression he only did it the once. If he's knocking on your door at midnight to repeatedly apologise then of course YNBU.

Inertia · 22/01/2017 08:52

So is it a public footpath, or is it your private land?

If it's your land, he shouldn't be on it. If it's a public path, then it's a bit odd for him to be knocking doors late at night but you can't stop him using the path.

SilentBatperson · 22/01/2017 08:54

Does no one genuinely think that knocking on the door of a house, in the middle of nowhere, with all the lights off at nearly midnight is not just a bit odd ? Seriously?

Nice failure to contextualise there OP. I wouldn't think it was odd if the reason he'd knocked on was to tell me his dog might have harmed my sheep, no. I do, however, think it's incredibly odd that you think it's in any way reasonable to ask someone not to use a public footpath because of your unilateral decision to keep dogs you can't or won't stop from barking when they don't like someone going past?!

Seriously, don't do it. This is a whole lot of your problem, notwithstanding that it might be bothering anyone else in earshot also. It's your fault. You fix it.

He was BU not to prevent his dog entering a field of sheep. However, that was apparently a one off, hasn't happened for a month now and OP has made it clear that's not what she now has the issue with.

FrancisCrawford · 22/01/2017 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Namechangearoo · 22/01/2017 09:00

"Calm down people" - but you asked the question! You got a fairly heavy YABU (have another from me) but obviously you've already made your mind up anyway that you're going to email him Hmm

You are, of course, being unreasonable. It's a public path and he has every right to walk on it whenever he wants. It's not his fault you have barky dogs (by the way - nearest house 1/4 of a mile away will DEFINITELY hear them barking at night), or that you go to bed at 10pm. It's not even his fault that you're scared!

Maybe some security lights would make you feel better.

But obviously you're going to send the email anyway, so whatever.

petitepeach · 22/01/2017 09:05

Op...... I totally get it....... I am from a rural area....
He is using a private path which leads to nowhere; he is not walking past your remote house to reach somewhere else. He is walking past at an anti-social hour knowing that it is setting your dogs off....
I live in suburbia now so obviously you expect all and sundry trudging past at any time of the day or night! But this situation is different.....
I think the guy is maybe socially unaware......I would send him a friendly email from one dog lover to another... It's worth a try!

I really don't know why you are getting a hard time.... There is a sort of unwritten code when you live rurally.... He is just unaware I think!

Good luck

MargotLovedTom1 · 22/01/2017 09:06

I mentioned the sheep thing (twice) because to my mind it's far worse than dogs barking, and yet there have been countless posts going on about the OP's dogs.

I would want my dogs to bark if there is someone outside, especially if it was late at night and I lived in the arse end of nowhere.

If this man is considerate enough to be concerned about the OP's sheep, then he'd probably be happy to walk a different route if the OP politely brought it to his attention. OP says there is an alternative walk.

Original poster
Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple · 22/01/2017 09:06

Margotlovestom, yes that's exactly the line I was thinking of taking , thank you. Good plan .

Have lived here for twenty years and this has never been an issue , am not some kind of moved to the country moaning about church bell type.

If all else fails am googling bear traps Wink

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityyhat · 22/01/2017 09:10

I can't see the harm in asking him op. He seems a reasonable sort and he might not mind at all. It probably hasn't crossed his mind that you'd be sleeping at that time as he's a night owl.

PidgeyfinderGeneral · 22/01/2017 09:11

My eyes are rolling so hard, I can see behind me.

If you're that terrified when you know exactly what's making your dogs bark, then you need help, frankly.

You're almost certainly going to ignore the overwhelming YABUs on this thread and send a near-stranger an irrational bonkers email asking him not to walk his dog down a public footpath at night. And he will think you are a nut job and hopefully ignore you.

petitepeach · 22/01/2017 09:14

As I mentioned I really don't know why people are giving you a hard time.......Confused
The op doesn't live in Privet Drive .... She lives in a remote location...

harderandharder2breathe · 22/01/2017 09:14

Yabu

Yes knocking so late wouldn't usually be ok. But imo concern for your sheep is a legitimate reason.

Your dogs are the ones disturbing you. That's what you need to solve. Not a man walking on a foot path.

FrancisCrawford · 22/01/2017 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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