To think a text to your children on Christmas Day doesn't really cut it ?

[Newbrummie]

Ex sent them a cheery text thanking them for their gifts and hoping they had a nice day ... At mid day when he got up no doubt.
I immediately ruined his life by phoning him and forcing him to spend 30 mins chatting to them 😁
And have received a mouthful via text for my efforts.

So why did you bother? The dc will soon realise what a knobhead he is, by the sound of it.

Do you have at hand?

Christmas hugs (( ))

What on earth did he give you grief for? For making him actually talk to his actual DC? Can't possibly see why he's your ex...

My DB does not speak to his DC on Christmas day as everyone gets upset, including my DB. He has made his own traditions with the DC. What you did would send my DB into the depths of depression.

Is he seeing them at some point?

I have to admit I don't like talking to mine on the phone as they assume I can see what they are talking about and it all gets confusing!

I was already raging that 6 year old DS got £30 in a card off him so just wanted to make him have to "go outside" to speak to them .... Can't have his actual children imposing on his day ... It's not his year with them you see 🙄

Yes, yabu...

My DP texts his kids on Christmas (around midday after they've had the chance to open all their presents etc.) We have our own traditions with them on Boxing Day so just leave them to it with their Mum on Christmas Day. Everyone is happy with this.

Your ex really doesn't sound like he's done anything wrong here. You, however, sound immensely bitter and like you're looking for any excuse to stick the boot in.

Let it go and enjoy your Christmas.

Ah i see, so you see them Boxing Day ... He's not seeing them until 2nd January .., it's not his year you see, hasn't seen them since the 17th.

I don't think you are BU. He sounds as though he clearly can't be arsed.

If the children want to talk to him he should bloody well do it. Not have a cob on because it's not his turn.

Must say, I agree with Brazen

Why would you do that?!

TheNaze73 - why wouldn't you do that ? It wasn't my year last year, I was abroad - do you think I didnt speak to them on Christmas Day ? The ability to compartmentalise ones kids just blows my mind I guess ... Any way dinner time

Generally no, I would say it's not good enough. However, knowing the backstory of this particular OP (under her various NNs) who thrives on drama and consistently puts her own needs ahead of those of the children's, I would say I have immense sympathy with her ex and I can understand why he leaves them all to it on Christmas Day.

Well creaky the children have their own phones if he wanted to avoid me, now I've got them back off him and in their possession again.

Doesn't sound like this is really about the children OP. Let it go and enjoy your Christmas together.

The children aren't babies so they can make their own minds up. Just still annoys me he can do this, shouldn't surprise me any more though.

I agree creakyknees There is a huuuge back story to all this.

So I agree that under these circumstances that the ex certainly isn't unreasonable.

"I was already raging that 6 year old DS got £30 in a card off him"

Erm. what is the problem with that? Most men are crap at buying presents. At least he remembered to send his children something.

And does the 6 year old have his pwn phone? Really?

My son has text his dad today and if it was other way round I would message him rather than ring as he doesn't like speaking on the phone. Communication can be any form as long as it's happening.

NicknameUsed - I suppose asking the 6 year old what he wants and buying it would just be beyond all fathers would it ?
And yes there's s back story including him fucking off and leaving us penniless with no access to benefits etc in the middle of Australia or are you only interested in the bits of the story that paint me as a vilan ?
Say what you like but my kids are all around my table and voted with their feet where they wanted to be,
Merry Christmas everyone.

OH my GOD OP, you made a MAN speak to his CHILDREN on his Christmas Day???? What kind of MONSTER are you????

OP, what you did was controlling and a bit pathetic. Your children have phones and can also get in touch with their dad when they want to, presumably. You could look at it that your ex wasn't intruding on your day with them... or you could be bilious and bitter and make it about you and what you think he should do.

You were unreasonable; he's not in your life now and your interference could just make it harder for the children to maintain a relationship with him as he has to manoeuvre around you for some reason. Just stop it.

Oh. It's you!

Posters can only go by what you posted and I cross-posted with your last which was a bit of drip-feed to say the least.

"I suppose asking the 6 year old what he wants and buying it would just be beyond all fathers would it ?"

OH and I have been happily married for many, many years, but it simply wouldn't occur to him to ask DD what she wants for Christmas. He just isn't wired that way.

NicknameUsed - that's because he had you to do it. The ex does not, therefore it really is up to him to buy the kid a present. Or not

You see I feel the cash thing is controlling because now he is pushing back onto me the job of ensuring his child has something nice to open on the day - which I would anyway and take him shopping to buy something from dad, it's manipulation.