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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit upset by what I've just seen?

126 replies

BitchQueen90 · 28/09/2016 14:37

Just popped to Tesco on my break to grab something for dinner tonight. I was stood in the veg aisle next to a couple with their DS who looked about 4 in the trolley. Their DS was having a bit of a moan and I heard the mother say to him "I will leave you here if you don't shut up." I thought this was a bit harsh but I understand sometimes we get frustrated with young DC and say things without thinking. The boy didn't "shut up" though, so the parents went round to another aisle so they were hidden from view from him. Obviously the boy thought he had been left and started to cry, while the parents stood there watching him and giggling.

When they saw me glaring at them they went back round to him. I know it's not my business to get involved but AIBU? I thought it was shocking behaviour to be honest and I wouldn't do that to my DS no matter how frustrated I was.

OP posts:
DerekSprechenZeDick · 28/09/2016 14:40

Kids wind us up. I'd do the whole I'll leave you there thing but my son can move quicker than I can

MidnightVelvettheSixth · 28/09/2016 14:43

I had a boyfriend once who told me that as a small boy he was quarrelling with his older sibling in the back of a car whilst in France & his parents got fed up & told them they would leave them there. Boyfriend & sibling didn't stop so they got kicked out of the car & left at the side of the road whilst the parents drove some way up the road, then parked & watched them! Boyfriend was left in a foreign country where he didn't speak the language thinking he had been abandoned!

To intentionally frighten a child is wrong no matter what the circumstances!

LurkingHusband · 28/09/2016 14:48

To intentionally frighten a child is wrong no matter what the circumstances!

Perhaps someone could let the Catholic church know ?

DerekSprechenZeDick · 28/09/2016 14:49
Grin
callycat1 · 28/09/2016 14:49

You probably saw my dad and stepmum!

MidnightVelvettheSixth · 28/09/2016 14:50

Grin Grin

NinaSimoneful · 28/09/2016 14:51

My DD had a little meltdown wanting to go "dis waaaay" and I did the pretend 'I'll leave you here' thing but a policeman saw and swore at me :-(

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/09/2016 14:51

Oh FFS - it's not like they were hitting him. Perhaps if you come across a situation like that again, you can give them the benefit of your advice on perfect parenting?

Gizlotsmum · 28/09/2016 14:52

I could have been those parents ( although I wouldn't have been giggling) I have walked away from my dc when they have refused to walk or follow me...never far but out of sight.

DerekSprechenZeDick · 28/09/2016 14:52

I intentionally frighten my son a lot. I hide and jump out at him

AliceInHinterland · 28/09/2016 14:52

I hate practical jokes on anyone, I think it takes a bit of a mean streak to want to frighten kids.

PurpleDaisies · 28/09/2016 14:53

Will they win the parent of the year award? Probably not.

It it such poor parenting that it's worthy of starting a thread about? No.

melibu84 · 28/09/2016 14:54

One of my friends used to argue with her sister so much, her mum packed them into a car and told them she was taking them to a children's home, and then drove them to an old hospital. Not saying I condone it, but she said it worked wonders :D

ageingrunner · 28/09/2016 14:55

My dad did that I'll leave you thing when I was about 4. I lost sight of him so couldn't follow and ended up lost. Apparently there was police involvement and tears from my mum etc. I've always been wary of using this tactic with my own dc!

Original poster
BitchQueen90 · 28/09/2016 14:55

Definitely not a perfect parent Grin I wouldn't want to intentionally frighten my DS though. I guess the general consensus is IABU Grin

OP posts:
flippinada · 28/09/2016 14:57

I suspect it's not the hiding, it's more the giggling at his distress that has bothered the OP.

Anyone intentionally frightening their child is

HerRoyalFattyness · 28/09/2016 14:57

derek I frighten my kids too. It's funny.
Even the one year old hides behind things then shouts boo now Grin

MidnightVelvettheSixth · 28/09/2016 14:59

I'm probably unreasonable as well but I work in childrens' social care with children who have actually been abandoned by their families so I guess I have no sense of humour for this subject at all.

I'll leave the thread now :)

flippinada · 28/09/2016 15:01

*is just plain nasty.

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom · 28/09/2016 15:02

My mum used to pretend to call boarding schools to see if they had space for me and my siblings.

It's not great parenting, I agree, but 4 year olds can be arseholes. The giggling is a bit gross. If they were taking deep breaths to calm down I'd be more understanding.

WaitrosePigeon · 28/09/2016 15:06

I say that on the regular Grin

JellyBelli · 28/09/2016 15:08

Do people really believe that hitting is the only form of abuse or of shitty parenting?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/09/2016 15:12

Of course not - if the child was in immediate danger the OP should have said something rather than coming on here and bitching to a group of Internet strangers

NeverEverAnythingEver · 28/09/2016 15:12

Does anyone remember the report not so long ago that in Japan some parents really did leave their son by the roadside and then the child disappeared when they came back to find him? And there were woods with bears and wolves! In the end they found him safe and sound. But ...

HerRoyalFattyness · 28/09/2016 15:14

never that was a bit different to what the OP described though, and different to hiding behind doors and jumping out as your child walks past.
They left the or child in the woods, knowing that he could be in danger.
The OP described them hiding, but the child was still in their sight and not in any immediate danger.