To be a bit upset by what I've just seen?

[BitchQueen90]

Just popped to Tesco on my break to grab something for dinner tonight. I was stood in the veg aisle next to a couple with their DS who looked about 4 in the trolley. Their DS was having a bit of a moan and I heard the mother say to him "I will leave you here if you don't shut up." I thought this was a bit harsh but I understand sometimes we get frustrated with young DC and say things without thinking. The boy didn't "shut up" though, so the parents went round to another aisle so they were hidden from view from him. Obviously the boy thought he had been left and started to cry, while the parents stood there watching him and giggling.

When they saw me glaring at them they went back round to him. I know it's not my business to get involved but AIBU? I thought it was shocking behaviour to be honest and I wouldn't do that to my DS no matter how frustrated I was.

I used to get told I was being taken to a children's home and was given a suitcase and told to go and pack totally forgot about it until this thread, so although probably not great parenting I can't say it's massively affected me in the 20 years since!

YABU

Nah, YANBU.

There's a difference between having fun (which posters have described doing with their DC) and standing there laughing while they cry.

It's was shitty and weird.

I often walk away from my 5yo DS if he's acting up like that, or stropping and refusing to move. I've always got one eye on him though, and never go far - just enough to make him realise I mean business. It's not something I have a giggle about either, but very often he's on my very last nerve and all the cajoling and sweet talking in the world won't get him moving. I'd be very irritated indeed if somebody made a snap judgement about my parenting based on that single observation.

DH's parents once locked him and his sibling in an office because they were being pains. DH and sibling called the police from the office telephone. That took some explaining apparently!

I do that to ds but he just cheerily shouts "BYE THEN MUMMY!"

YANBU I think giving a small child the idea that your love or care for them is something that they can 'break' or that it's conditional on good behaviour is completely destructive. Telling them you will abandon them if they don't do as they're told- unacceptable

I tell mine I'll sell him to the circus.

I told mine I'd leave him in the zoo.

ohmrbadger 😳😂. I don't suppose they did that again in a hurry!

It's different when they know you are joking.

I don't think uabu, due to your personal sensitivities.

I probably would have done the same as the parents though for two reasons. 1. Because I've already said to stop and he didn't and 2. Because I said I'd go and I want him to know I stick to what I say.

The best way around this is not to have made ultimatums but you know how it gets sometimes.

I intentionally frighten my son a lot. I hide and jump out at him me too Derek, I still do to dd1 who is 17

You are right, its none of your business.

ICan I also do it to the mother. She tries but she just isn't sly enough

I actually think that's somewhat disgusting behaviour. But appreciate I'm obviously a minority in thinking that! You just don't pretend to abandon your child - a small person who completely relies on you to live - and then laugh about it too? No, it's just nasty and disrespectful to the child.

Mil once left dp in the middle of a shop whilst he was having a tantrum. She actually walked some way down the high street too. Dp doesn't remember apparently but I wouldn't walk so far that I couldn't see them.

I have done the whole "fine, Bye then" thing when dd1, who's nearly 4 is refusing to go where we need to go. I would never let her go out of site and I've never had to go more than a couple of steps before she comes running. It's better than having to physically drag her along kicking and screaming. This method obviously doesn't work with every child though!

The giggling I would find a bit cruel, to a small child the thought of being left somewhere is scary.

I do it to my brother too. He's 14. He's scared of clowns. I really want to get a clown puppet and leave it in his room but my mum won't let me.

Just for full disclosure I'm scared of spiders and he regularly scares me about that so it's only fair.

Not great parenting but my DS behaves himself very quickly if I threaten to leave him at home whilst I go out.

Obviously wouldn't dream of actually doing it, but it works so well it's hard to stop when he's writhing about on the floor, taking his clothes off and generally making us all late for everything.

I very much doubt they meant to actually do it OP.

Not their finest hour of parenting, but nobody does their best parenting in a supermarket with a moany child, I may well have done the same thing at the end of my tether.

I'm a bit meh about it. It's not the best, but he was never in any danger, he just got a bit upset for what sounds like a very short period.

The walking away keeping them in sight thing I can completely understand, can be effective but keeps child safe.

Hiding and GIGGLING at distressed child is nasty. Just nasty.

I find the threatening to leave thing a bit upsetting too. I remember as a child this being done to me. I was the youngest of three and a very slow walker/easily distracted. I remember the feeling of panic and fear that my mum might ACTUALLY leave me to fend for myself.

In the scale of things it's not the worst thing they could do but even so, not very nice.

I hate seeing kids getting shouted at by a parent who's lost the plot. We've all done it but usually not at the shops.

Worse is them getting smacked.....but that's a whole nuther subject.

That's a case of the parents setting a shitty example of how to behave, but expecting a small child to be on top form. I don't like the whole "bye bye we'll leave you then" thing particularly anyway. I just feel a bit silly doing it, and doesn't sit right with me for some reason. I know I'm in a minority. I prefer to tell them something that actually will happen like I'll have to pick them up/they go in the buggy/call their bluff and we'll just stand here then until we're all bored enough to go.

I find all of the "random lying" school of parenting odd though "the lady in the shop will tell you off" "the park's closed now" (when there are still loads of other kids in it) "shall I give your favourite toy to X since you don't want it" (confuses X as well as upsets child in question) it always seems like the last refuge of people can't think of anything better to do, just all a bit daft and unnecessary.