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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if men have 'Wendys'?

116 replies

spamten · 14/09/2016 19:30

I just wondered whether men have their own version of a 'Wendy'. I see on so many threads on MN things like "I think I'm being Wendied" - or "she sounds like a Wendy" etc etc. Do men have this phenomenon? If so, what is their 'Wendy' called ?
Would you be surprised if your OH came home one evening after a night out or whatever, and you asked him if he'd had a good day and he said "Not really, I think I'm being Garied" .

Does it seem funny to picture this scenario?

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 14/09/2016 19:31

Absolutely no idea, please explain!

LifeInJeneral · 14/09/2016 19:32

What the hell does a 'Wendy' mean?

Doublemint · 14/09/2016 19:32

What is "bring wendied"?!? shows own mumsnet naivety

Doublemint · 14/09/2016 19:33

*being! Not bring!

fastdaytears · 14/09/2016 19:33

I have never heard this and I waste soooo much time on MN

TheWantedOne · 14/09/2016 19:35

I actually lol-ed at 'being Garied'

acornsandnuts · 14/09/2016 19:36

I doubt it. My DH has a massive amount of 'mates' with overlapping non commital friendships. I don't think he gets very deep with any of them, however they can be quite stroppy with each other in a teenage way. They're all in their 40s or 50s and group chats are sometimes hilarious at their childish tantrums.

TheWantedOne · 14/09/2016 19:37

But no I don't think Wendys exist within men's friendships. I am often envious of how simple my DH's friendships are.

acornsandnuts · 14/09/2016 19:37

Wendied - introduce a friend to a friend then they push you out in favour of each other's company.

MrsS1980 · 14/09/2016 19:37

I think Wendy was someone who made friends with a pp, got into her friendship group and then isolated her from the group iirc.

LooseSeal · 14/09/2016 19:37

Being Wendied is when you make a new friend, bring them into your friendship group then the new friend/Wendy turns your old friends against you so you end up on the fringes of the group or losing them all together.

oldlaundbooth · 14/09/2016 19:38

I thought you meant the American burger chain!

Then I RTFT.

What does it mean?

spamten · 14/09/2016 19:38

I hope a more experienced mumsnetter will be along in a minute to give a better explanation but if I understand correctly it's when your friends with someone and a new toxic 'friend' comes along and gradually takes over your well established friend, thereby displacing you.

lol TheWantedOne - it's one of those names that kind of lends itself to this scenario, doesn't it?

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 14/09/2016 19:43

Omg PMSL at Garied

Hilarious! !!!

arranged · 14/09/2016 19:43

No, men don't wendy

ParisienneRose · 14/09/2016 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arfarfanarf · 14/09/2016 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greengager · 14/09/2016 19:56

Think is was the original thread about 'Wendy' - a new friend the OP introduced to her friendship group only for Wendy to then set out to exclude her from it. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2195040-Ive-been-wendied

AmeliaJack · 14/09/2016 19:58

I certainly haven't observed it among my DH's friendship groups.

He's active in a particular sport and goes out to participate in it with several different groups. No one seems to mind and they are all very generous about inviting and absorbing new people into the groups.

TattyDevine · 14/09/2016 19:59

Right, okay then! Been on here nearly 10 years but pleased to be enlightened.

Doublemint · 14/09/2016 19:59

Thankyou wise mnetters!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/09/2016 20:10

No I don't think so. DH has a couple of fairly relaxed friendship groups based around hobbies, and we have "couple" friends. His best mate is his brother but he's not bothered when his brother sees other mates.

DS(22) again has a couple of different friendship groups. Awkwardly his best mate (since he was about 12) really doesn't get on with his "clubbing" group, but he seems to juggle things quite well.

MyCatIsTryingToKillMe · 14/09/2016 20:10

It certainly happens with teenage boys so don't see why not with men.

LookMoreCloselier · 14/09/2016 20:10

No, but they do have 'Rod' on a popular (mostly mens) forum, Rod steals your girlfriend.

honeylulu · 14/09/2016 20:13

Men are much simpler with their friendships. At least they used to be. I think social media has changed things for the younger generation. I've been appalled at some of the cyber bullying I've seen going on (I monitor what my son looks at) and they try and justify it by "but he said this/that".