And a terrible mother to do this?

[daimbar]

DD (14 months) has been waking in the night screaming hysterically for about 3 weeks.

Teething? nightmares? Tummy ache? Who knows. She is usually awake 1-3 hours in the night and will only settle after a bottle and / or being cuddled back to sleep. I work full time and am struggling.

She's exhausted, I'm exhausted, DP is exhausted the neighbours are probably exhausted too.

A week or so ago she had a heat rash and had a spoonful of baby piriton before bed. It made her drowsy and she slept a solid 11 hours.

DP is away this weekend. WIBU to give her piriton tonight as a one off, just so we both get a night of sleep?

Yes. YWBU to drug your child to sleep.

Very

Unfortunately yabu.

It is technically drugging them to sleep. It's a nice idea but it doesn't make ideal sleep habits

There's no guarantee it would work anyway

I think a better approach might be to identify what is waking her up. If if could be noise, try a fan or other white noise, if hunger, a snack before bed, etc. Then at least you'll be doing something proactive. Sounds exhausting but you'll get through it.

You wouldn't be the first or last parent to do it.

But, when I attempted this on an occasion when DS wasn't actually ill it had the opposite effect and made him hyper, not sleepy. Sorry.

Yes yabu. You know that though.

Some children dont sleep. My dd1 didn't (in fact she's 6 and is still a 2am bed invader) and my dd2 is looking like she's heading the same way. It's shit but that's kids for you!

YANBU to be at that point of desperation. But YABU to do it.

Really no need for the '' up thread. Some perfect parents around aren't there!?

Thanks for the replies.

Getting a bit desperate and needed to hear how unreasonable it would be, as I'm ashamed to say I was getting tempted.

When my DD was five she had a terrible cough and we went to chemist for medicine. The lady behind the counter gave us Medised and told me it will help open the airways but would also make her sleep through the night. She said this in a marked way and kept winking at me.....when I later mentioned it to friends they all seemed to know about it and had all given it to their kids when they needed a good night's sleep. I was shocked they all seemed to be using it regularly.....it's now been taken off the market, wonder why!!!!!

Are you sure it was a heat rash? My LO (11 months) had what we thought was a heat rash but realise now it must have been a viral rash - turns out the reason he's been waking up screaming is due to both ears being infected. Have you ruled out infections?

But yes YABU for wanting to drug your child to sleep. And I say that as a parent who is often very tempted to do the same thing, especially as he has been prescribed a very drowsy antihistamine (much stronger than piriton) for severe eczema.

Poor op, I really feel for you.

My DD did this for a few days at a similar age. Never managed to crack what her issue was but the only way I found to stop it was to Co sleep. I still put her down in her room and only went in when she cried, so no crying meant no mum, to avoid starting a bad habit. Could you try this?

Also speak to your hv or gp in you are worried. Its really hard at this age.

No need to be ashamed! Desperation does funny things.

But like above just because it worked once doesn't mean it will work next time.

Maybe try a little night light like the plug in ones? Mine used to wake up screaming and we put a plug in night light in and that helped. I wouldn't start giving her Piriton because it might not work or if it works you might be tempted to do it more often.

Thanks for the suggestions. She has had a cold recently and I hadn't thought of an ear infection.

Will try and get a GP apt before the weekend.

You will get through it op, I promise. Take it easy in the day times and try to do plenty of sitting down drinking tea.

I used to be on here at 3 am most nights, although this was back in the day that it used to shut down every night It stops you feeling like the only you're the only person awake in the world.

Try calpol. If that works, she was might have pain that is keeping her up

I co-slept with my DD until she was 5 because of this. I am a single mum and work full time so it was more important we both slept than to have expectations about her self soothing and all that jazz. She is 7 and now sleeps on her own (invades bed early mining still :)

I would.

If it's a choice between piriton or infanticide resulting from sheer-bloody-exhaustion, you made the right choice.

But please don't make habit of it.

I think you should try a little night light too if you don't already have one.

Could you and your DH take a night each so at least one of you is getting some rest?

And unfortunately it's a case of persevering. It won't last forever. Things might be different tonight. All babies sleep patterns change. We had two who woke up at 530 every day without fail and another who woke every two hours for five months for a feed!

Chin up. We all know what exhaustion feels like unfortunately.

I'm in the 'let them cry' brigade. Would sooner have my babies cry at night, than give them drugs. Call me old fashioned!

I have a Dutch mother who raised us the Dutch way, and she can never understand the British obsession with not allowing babies or children to cry. You need to get some sleep so you can care for your children safely and work. You said you work full time. The 'nap while baby naps' business just doesn't cut it when you have a stressful or busy job to do during the day. Look after yourself and don't beat yourself up if your child is crying in the night. If they are well cared for and not I'll, it doesn't do them any long term harm. Also, may mean they are excellent sleepers in years to come, like me! ;)

I would try calpol instead in case it's teething pain that is keeping her awake. I don't give it to my daughter to make her sleep but there is a difference between waking up due to being a baby and being awoken by pain, which is horrible for anyone let alone a little baby who doesn't understand. I know my little girl is teething as I can see them cutting through her gums though. Piriton would be unreasonable as she doesn't need it for a medical problem.

I don't see it as an issue as a one off.
For my dc habit in sleeping is a big thing-also in me. I can go for days waking at the same time to the minute.
If the dc have had a bad night then they'll often have the same bad pattern come up again, particularly when younger.
Dd2 was a terrible sleeper, often up 3-4-5 times a night. At 18months she started waking for the day at 2.30. I took her to the GP as I thought she must be in pain and they checked her and gave me medised. Glorious stuff. Half a teaspoon=12 hours sleep.
2 days of medised and she slept through without medication most nights after that. It just broke the bad sleep habit.

With dd1, she had bad pneumonia when she was 8yo which caused massive weight loss and insomnia. I asked the GP what to do about the latter (former being monitored) as she was struggling to sleep. He recommended trying her with a teaspoon of piriton. He's a very experienced doctor and prescribes/suggests medication sparingly.
It worked with dd1, however ds gets hyperactive off piriton so it doesn't work for everyone.

When my DS1 was a baby he had terrible eczema due to allergies and a paediatrician told us to give him piriton. He said "it will help him sleep, and you, as you can't be getting any sleep with him in this state."

As a matter of fact, DS1 was a good sleeper, even with the eczema, so he didn't need it.

But also, I have found that over the years we have needed to give piriton to DS1 for more acute allergic reactions and it has never seemed to make him drowsy.

So a) sometimes even Doctors recommend doing what you did and b) it might not have been the drowsy effect that worked, it might have been the lack of itching that allowed her to sleep.

morethanonebaby I think we all recognise that there are many different ways to parent and letting babies cry just doesn't work for a lot of people. I guess it's different outlooks and personalities.

Frankly I would rather have years of disturbed sleep that listen to my baby scream and not go to her.