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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn your attention to this article **Trigger warning: Child abuse. Title edited by MNHQ**

503 replies

NedStarksHead · 03/08/2016 11:55

After a long and stressful debate/argument on FB, I'd like to turn your attention to these articles....

If you're one of the people who say "murder them all, they're all scum, they should be shot" then just read these and re-think.

Use different wording. A child molester is so different to a pedophile.

http://www.salon.com/2015/09/21/imaapedophilebuttnotaa_monster/

http://www.virped.org

OP posts:
VioletBam · 04/08/2016 06:01

Yeah...don't care. Not interested. Dirty fuckers.

Scrumptiousbears · 04/08/2016 06:28

Why would anyone need to post this?

StrawberryMummy90 · 04/08/2016 06:40

There is absolutely no guarantee these pedophiles won't sexually abuse children no matter how much they insist they 'would never do that'. They should be removed from society, I don't know how, but they should be. This is disgusting and they are a real danger to children.

DonaldTrumpTriggersSJWlol · 04/08/2016 06:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 07:14

Wow.

We have absolutely fuck all empathy as a society.

This is depressing.

OP posts:
Amelie10 · 04/08/2016 07:18

You want empathy for paedophiles? OdfodBiscuit

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 04/08/2016 07:23

That article was the biggest pile of wank ive ever read.

Poor him? Being a peado is a disability? virtuous pedophiles?

Fuck off

Magikarp · 04/08/2016 07:24

This is disgusting.

whateveryousay · 04/08/2016 07:27

Wow. What a brave man. How awful to have those feelings and to be unable to ask for help. I'll be careful to use 'child molester' from now on.

catinthecradle · 04/08/2016 07:31

NedStarksHead

I had to check that you posted before, I thought that you must be a troll. Maybe not, which is even worst.

Could you please clarify, before this thread get hopefully deleted, how you justify your "empathy" towards pedophiles? How are you ready to defend someone who is so twisted that he's attracted to infants and children, with no chance of ever be normal and safe for others? We are not talking about someone who can be sent to jail to reflect on a crime and can change his way, we are talking about a danger to society.

How do you defend that? As a mother, my role is to protect my children. As a member of our society, my role is to (try to) protect any children. A parental group is not the place to advertise for a so-called support group for pedophiles.

Again, please clarify and justify your post .

Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 07:33

I've reported it because I really thought I'd get a different reaction.

I have empathy because it's not a choice. It's a sexual orientation they can't help it. What they can help is choosing whether or not to act on it and I have empathy for the ones who do not act on it and the ones who seek help.

OP posts:
whateveryousay · 04/08/2016 07:33

If you are attracted to men, are you therefore unable to have any self-control? Thereby making you a danger to all men?!

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:34
Sad

People can't help their thoughts. They can be rigorous at policing them, they can refuse to indulge them, they can refuse to act on them, but they can't help their thoughts.

Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 07:34

I'm attracted to men and women but I could choose to spend the rest of my life going near neither of them if it was a danger.

I'm attracted primarily to men but I'm not a danger to them? I don't lurk in the shadows waiting to pounce on a vulnerable man and steal him Hmm

OP posts:
Magikarp · 04/08/2016 07:35

I've been around several men over the last week and I've managed to restrain myself. I assume you'll want to write an article on me?

I reiterate. This is disgusting.

catinthecradle · 04/08/2016 07:36

If you are attracted to men, are you therefore unable to have any self-control? Thereby making you a danger to all men?!

of course you can compare one adult dealing with another to an adult dealing with a baby. Are you insane. Angry

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:36

"How are you ready to defend someone who is so twisted that he's attracted to infants and children"

Because people don't choose who or what they find desirable.

They can only choose not to act on those desires, and not to indulge them in any way.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 04/08/2016 07:36

You've reported the thread because people dont agree with you?

Confused
Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 07:36

To clarify - I don't in ANY way shape or form condone child sexual abuse. Or any child abuse in any form.

I think the only thing that can happen with someone who does that is prison, prison and supervision.

The ones I'm trying to make you all think about here are the ones who cannot help their sexual orientation but actively choose not to break the law and do something unforgivable.

They need support and help.

OP posts:
Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 07:37

I reported the thread because I despair at the lack of understanding and empathy and didn't want the thread any longer.

I've since reported and asked to keep it up to justify myself.

OP posts:
Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 04/08/2016 07:38

Are you for real?????!!!

whateveryousay · 04/08/2016 07:40

They do need support and help, yes. And maybe if they were able to come forward and ask for professional help, then there would be less child abuse?

ImOnMyTumbleTap · 04/08/2016 07:41

I'm not really sure what to make of this. On the one hand, I agree that paedophilia is a mental illness and if they understand that their desires are wrong and hand themselves in BEFORE doing anything, I believe we should offer them support to try and overcome it far away from children.

However, the blasé way he wrote about it worried me. He said he would never act on it but he seems very woe is me about it and trying to blame it on someone anything else (an experience that I didn't really understand if I'm honest but I'm not an expert on child abuse, fortunately). While abusers are often abused themselves, this doesn't excuse it.

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:41

Do people here feel that simply having these thoughts is morally appalling? Regardless of whether someone acts on them?

What would you say to your adult children if you knew they were having these thoughts come into their mind? "You're scum, go and kill yourself"?

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 04/08/2016 07:42

I work with children who are sometimes victims of sex abuse and THEY are the ones who have my empathy. I also work with parents who were abused as children and see first hand the damage this has on them and the implication it can have on their parenting.