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Original poster

To turn your attention to this article **Trigger warning: Child abuse. Title edited by MNHQ**

503 replies

NedStarksHead · 03/08/2016 11:55

After a long and stressful debate/argument on FB, I'd like to turn your attention to these articles....

If you're one of the people who say "murder them all, they're all scum, they should be shot" then just read these and re-think.

Use different wording. A child molester is so different to a pedophile.

http://www.salon.com/2015/09/21/imaapedophilebuttnotaa_monster/

http://www.virped.org

OP posts:
hormental · 04/08/2016 07:42

Yes you are being unreasonable to draw our attention to that article. Just read half of it. Really wish I hadn't. The "poor me, I'm such a victim" has enraged me.

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:42

"but he seems very woe is me about it "

Why wouldn't he be? When the majority of people would like to see him tortured to death simply for existing?

ClopySow · 04/08/2016 07:43

I read a really interesting article by a 17 year old basically saying the same thing. He had these feelings he was absolutely tortured by, sought help from a therapist at 14 only to be told he was disgusting. He set up a support forum. The only way you were allowed to join the forum was if you stated it was wrong to have sexual contact with children.

A psychologist got involved in an attempt to understand and ultimately find ways of helping people with these feeling stay sane and never offend, but said that it was almost impossible to put proper treatment programmes together because no one would fund it.

If people are saying "help me. I know its wrong and i don't want this" why shouldn't they be supported? It might actually reduce offending and keep children safe.

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 04/08/2016 07:43

Part of my role is also working with adults and children who have these thoughts. A large number DO go on to act on these thoughts and the damage that causes is devastating

hormental · 04/08/2016 07:44

I'm not sure what reaction you anticipated on a forum full of parents OP.

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 04/08/2016 07:44

I wonder, If someone is attracted to infants but understands it is not acceptable, do they deserve condemnation for their condition, or help to deal with it?

There are of course others who are fixated, but think it is acceptable.

By way of background, I am a manic depressive. I can be a total pain to live with. I know I can't change so I have to try and manage the effects to the least harm to myself and those around me.

Grassgreendashhabi · 04/08/2016 07:44

I think you need to see actual victims that might change your mind

You say I have empathy because it's not a choice. It's a sexual orientation they can't help it.

It's not a choice no different from murdering someone or raping someone. There is a thing called wrong and right

I think you sound as dangerous as the people in the article

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:45

"I work with children who are sometimes victims of sex abuse"

Some children who are victims will grow up to become abusers themselves. At what point do you lose all sympathy for them as human beings? At the point where they are 16 and have sexualised feelings towards younger children? Or when they act on those feelings and ruin someone else's life?

Magikarp · 04/08/2016 07:45

I've reported this OP because the article is blasé about a horrific issue. It's not appropriate. Survivors of abuse do not need the likes of you empathising with paedophiles.

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:48

"It's not a choice no different from murdering someone or raping someone. There is a thing called wrong and right"

People can't help their thoughts.

It's wrong to act on those thoughts, but to have them in the first place?

Disordered thinking - compulsions, people can't help experiencing these. And telling people they are morally disputable simply for having thoughts they can't control will discourage them from seeking help.

Dozer · 04/08/2016 07:50

Haven't read the article and from what posters say am concerned about the mindset and motivation of the peadophile who wrote it.

Also dislike people taking the "poor them" angle on people who are a huge danger to children - for one thing this seems to play into the manipulation that some paedophile offenders use.

there should continue to be help and services for paedophiles, eg from health professionals, if there's evidence that this reduces offences against children, which seems logical.

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 04/08/2016 07:52

I am concerned about outing myself but this is an area I specialise in. I work with children who are at risk of becoming abusers and offer interventions.

However, not all pedophiles have been sexually abused and only a small percentage of children who have been sexually abused go on to be an abuser and this is not always against children.

I suppose it's difficult for me to be impartial given the devastating effects I see.

ImOnMyTumbleTap · 04/08/2016 07:52

AIBU is the wrong thread for this. As is a forum for parents and grandparents.

minifingerz · 04/08/2016 07:53

"If people are saying "help me. I know its wrong and i don't want this" why shouldn't they be supported? It might actually reduce offending and keep children safe."

I think what people would prefer is for these individuals to commit suicide.

Unless of course it is their own son or daughter experiencing these compulsions, in which case they may see it differently. Hmm

I just wonder how those individuals who experience these compulsions in adulthood as a result of abuse they endured themselves as children, how do they survive? When the world says: "you are vile and worthless even for having these thoughts, regardless of whether you act on them".

Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 07:54

I'm as dangerous as the person who wrote the article? Jesus Christ

OP posts:
NeedACleverNN · 04/08/2016 07:56

This is disgusting

A paedophile is just as bad as a child molester

Children are innocent and should remain as such. No one should feel attracted to them and using the excuse of "years ago it was seen as disgusting for a black and white together now it's acceptable. It was seen as disgusting for a man and man together. Now it's acceptable"

And adult and a child is always sick and will never be accepted. Ever

Grassgreendashhabi · 04/08/2016 07:58

Mini - thinking is one thing what this article is going on about is DOING

If people have these thoughts then they need help - they understand wrong from right

If people act on these thoughts they have no understanding and yes should be punished

Ned - you are just as dangerous as you seem to think it's justified

Magikarp · 04/08/2016 07:58

Two days ago a man exposed himself to me and my daughter in public. He made aggressive comments towards me while doing so.

However he didn't rape me so should I applaud him for having such amazing self control? Be obviously just needs a big hug, such a brave man. Poor him.

Fuck off mini.

witsender · 04/08/2016 08:00

Surely this isn't new? I agree with the OP tbh.

Original poster
NedStarksHead · 04/08/2016 08:00

What the fuck? Justify what? What am I justifying?

I'm
Justifying mental illness and something that can't be helped.

Am I justifying the ones who act on it? No am I fuck?!

OP posts:
GrimmauldPlace · 04/08/2016 08:02

Op, I'm confused as to what you would like any member of the public to do? I agree that pedophiles who have not abused children should be able to access help, therapy etc but it seems as though you would like the public to be more "understanding" of their "sexual orientation" and have it as accepted as being gay or straight.

If a person has these thoughts and feelings they should absolutely seek help but do you want them to be able to tell people their orientation and not have a bad response? Because that's never going to happen is it?

Andrewofgg · 04/08/2016 08:03

Nobody can help thinking what they think but they can and must avoid acting on those thoughts.

A man (overwhelmingly; although there are exceptions) who is troubled by such thoughts can stay away from children; hurry past them in the street; not talk to them.

It's not rocket science.

PickAChew · 04/08/2016 08:04

While not all paedophiles will do so, any paedophile who uses imagery, even without ever touching a child in person, is still complicit in child sexual abuse.

I have empathy by the bucket load but mostly reserve it for real victims.

verytiredmummy1 · 04/08/2016 08:05

Are you serious?!

verytiredmummy1 · 04/08/2016 08:06

I too thought this might be a troll. I too have empathy for the victims rather than the 'molesters'. Disgusting