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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unruly DS or strict parents?

142 replies

ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 19:58

DS had a sleepover tonight, but I've just had to go and pick him up.

DS is 9 and was along with 4 other boys invited for a sleepover tonight, we're not very close to the family but accepted the invite as DS wanted to go and 2/4 invited boys are very close friends of his.

Drop off was at 4 and around 7pm parents phoned asking if I could pick DS up as he was being unruly and instigating disruptive behaviour.

I apologised and drove over straight away, when I got there 3/4 boys invited had all their stuff packed and we're waiting to be collected, I apologised again and asked what he'd done exactly.

They said DS kicked a ball into the garden from the kitchen, was playing tag in the living room and was egging on one of the other boys when parents were trying to discipline him.

DS can be disruptive and they had every right to ask him to be collected, but would you have done the same.

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 26/07/2016 19:59

If they only have 1 ds then probably a shock having 4 in the house lol

PotOfYoghurt · 26/07/2016 20:04

Sounds like their issue of the majority of the boys were being collected.

Aren't sleepovers times when you just stick a film on/plug in Minecraft and leave them to it?

PeggyMitchell123 · 26/07/2016 20:04

Your ds might have been a bit much but aren't they all at a sleepover when you put a group of children together. They get excited, energetic and egg each other on, surely you have to expect some of it when you host a sleepover. I personally would have chucked them all out in the garden and hoped they wore themselves out.

The only time I would send a child home would be if he was deliberately being disruptive and wrecking my home/annoying the others. I would have to be right at the end of my tether with the child to send them home early.

Artandco · 26/07/2016 20:04

I probably would have done tbh. They had obviously asked them not to do that, and running around house and kicking balls indoors isn't really on

They probably assumed it would go on into the evening, and it was easier to cancel early on whilst parents all awake and collect

At 9 years old I would be very annoyed with him for not respecting others homes and rules

hastheworldgonemad · 26/07/2016 20:06

Silly buggers! You have lads in the house and it gets messy. Seriously they can't control a gaggle of 9 year olds. Sounds like the kids were bored.

They sound precious.

Amelie10 · 26/07/2016 20:06

Yes he was being unruly, it's not good behaviour to be kicking around a ball inside someone's home is it? Also he was egging another boy on, he seemed badly behaved and a bit disrespectful at 9yo.

Brightnorthernlights · 26/07/2016 20:07

Sounds like they got a bit over excited. Unfortunately can happen if you have 5 nine year olds together for a sleepover!

Not the biggest fan of sleepovers for that age group, but when I did, learnt my lesson early on that no more than one child at a time would be invited!

Buggers · 26/07/2016 20:07

It depends.. how was your son egging another kid on whilst they were being told off? If he was being rude to the parents then I agree he should have been sent home. Why was he kicking a ball around in their house??

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 26/07/2016 20:07

Lesson learned for the boys - wouldn't have done it myself though!!!!

FuzzyOwl · 26/07/2016 20:09

I guess it depends how many times they asked him to stop misbehaving. I would have got to the stage where I would have said that one more thing and I would call the parents, and I would have done, but there would have been fair warning. Groups of children, summer holidays and sleepovers are all times I expect a bit of mayhem though.

Udderz · 26/07/2016 20:09

Yes I would have sent him home. I bet the mother only told you about some of his poor behaviour and you'd probably have had to have been there to fully understand. It sounds like all four were a nightmare!!! Your son needs to learn to behave and didn't respond to the normal level of discipline given. Why should the parents life be made hell for the night? They were prepared to kindly give up their time and home but the kids were clearly taking the piss. I hope your son has learnt his lesson. At 9 he should know how to be polite and well behaved, hes not a small toddler.

OurBlanche · 26/07/2016 20:10

I'd imagine they now know they can't handle sleepover groups and they will stick to just the 1 guest from now on.

And your DS has learned that if he isn't a good guest, if he doesn't reign it in a bit and stop playing silly buggers in other peoples houses, he will get sent home and the invitations will dry up. A good lesson to learn at 9 years old!

Original poster
ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 20:12

Buggers, other boy was a bouncing a ball in the living room when the Mum told him to give it back several times, DS kept telling him not to.

He shouldn't have been kicking a ball at all, shows a massive lack of respect, I'm not surprised that they phoned, I just personally wouldn't have done it for those reasons.

OP posts:
HeffalumpHistory · 26/07/2016 20:13

Yes he should probably have behaved a bit but as pp said, 5 9yo together for w sleepover is going to result in major excitement & egging each other on.

If parents react that ott I'd be glad my ds isn't staying tbh.

Udderz · 26/07/2016 20:14

9 is old enough to know to moderate behaviour in other peoples houses or to adapt to new rules. Plain rudeness (like egging on other boys who are being told off) is completely unacceptable and would make me think what a vile child

mummymummums · 26/07/2016 20:15

Four is a lot for a sleepover and I speak from experience. However, I would only call parents if all else failed - giving warnings etc. If they didn't warn him they'd send him home if he continued, then I'd say they were v unreasonable. If they did clearly warn him, and he carried on then I think that's fair enough.

Buggers · 26/07/2016 20:15

He told the other child not to give it to the mum?? That's awful behaviour for a 9yr old, I'm shocked you have to ask. That's really really rude and disrespectful.

Lunar1 · 26/07/2016 20:18

I wouldn't call for the initial stuff, but egging the other child on while he is being told off is absolutely disgraceful behaviour. At 9 he should know better, I'd be mortified at that.

alreadytaken · 26/07/2016 20:20

I once made a child leave the shared bedroom and go and sleep elsewhere because I'd given many warnings and they were keeping everyone in the house awake. But it was 3 a.m so didnt feel I could call the parents then. Mother complained that the child was upset but tough.

Udderz · 26/07/2016 20:21

At least the boys will know to follow instructions when they next visit her home. She sounds like a straight forward parent as she expects directions to be followed or there are consequences. Better then parenting with empty threats

alreadytaken · 26/07/2016 20:21

that's a vote for unruly child, btw.

Amelie10 · 26/07/2016 20:23

So he ignored the mum and kept egging the boy on? No wonder he is so disrespectful if you have to ask. He sounds like a naughty , unruly boy. You should be embarrassed he has done that.

Original poster
ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 20:24

I suppose I've just had kids do all sorts of things that they normally never would at sleepovers that I see it as behaviour to expect

OP posts:
Original poster
ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 20:26

I didn't kick off about like one of the other parents, it was his own fault and I made him apologise, doubt he'll get an invite again

OP posts:
Lunar1 · 26/07/2016 20:27

Your low expectations for behaviour are the problem here I think. I'd set the bar higher for your children.

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