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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unruly DS or strict parents?

142 replies

ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 19:58

DS had a sleepover tonight, but I've just had to go and pick him up.

DS is 9 and was along with 4 other boys invited for a sleepover tonight, we're not very close to the family but accepted the invite as DS wanted to go and 2/4 invited boys are very close friends of his.

Drop off was at 4 and around 7pm parents phoned asking if I could pick DS up as he was being unruly and instigating disruptive behaviour.

I apologised and drove over straight away, when I got there 3/4 boys invited had all their stuff packed and we're waiting to be collected, I apologised again and asked what he'd done exactly.

They said DS kicked a ball into the garden from the kitchen, was playing tag in the living room and was egging on one of the other boys when parents were trying to discipline him.

DS can be disruptive and they had every right to ask him to be collected, but would you have done the same.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 26/07/2016 21:16

You're not in Ireland are you, OP??

Floggingmolly · 26/07/2016 21:17

But the mum came back into the room and tried to remove the ball, and your badly behaved brat little angel encouraged the others to ignore her!!
You sound so accepting of his antics, God love both if you in the teenage years... I would be sick with shame if one of my kids had to be collected from a playdate / sleepover in disgrace.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/07/2016 21:17

Wow, talk about thinking your kid can do no wrong. What you said he did is downright bratty, insolent behaviour, yet you think the parent's should have put up with it? I've never had to send a child home from a sleepover, I would do if one behaved like that though. Take off your rose tinted glasses. As for getting the thread deleted: really?!

Original poster
ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 21:18

Tigger, just the opposite is happening in fact. Other parents have kicked up a right fuss and are telling others to avoid the parents as they can't have a safe environment, it's all over my FB feed

OP posts:
Petal40 · 26/07/2016 21:18

I've done sleepovers with a gaggle of kiddies..it's hard work...I expect the host didn't realise how much hard work it would be....and they took the easy option and sent the little darlings home...no harm done.dont worry..I've 3 boys ...I get it

PerspicaciaTick · 26/07/2016 21:18

It sounds like the boys got unruly but the parents lacked the skills/initiative to defuse the situation by distraction or redirection. I'd have packed them off into the garden to play for a bit rather than battle over the ball indoors.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tiggeryoubastard · 26/07/2016 21:19

Ah just got it. New poster posts about horrible child and blames everyone else. Then gets victim mentality. Tries to cause arguments. Now where have I seen this before? Stop feeding it, folks.

Original poster
ElenaRenault · 26/07/2016 21:20

No Walter, Why??

OP posts:
bananafish · 26/07/2016 21:20

Sounds as though your lad got overexcited and forgot his manners. He is only 9, though. He will have learnt a lesson and you sound as though you are handling it well by getting him to write an apology letter. Those parents seem a bit wet.

Just ignore all the frenzied indignation you are seeing about his behaviour and the insinuations that he is headed for a youth offenders unit before he is 10 years of age. It is just overexcited nonsense.

Hope you put it behind you and enjoy the rest of the holidays 🙂

Floggingmolly · 26/07/2016 21:20

It's all over Facebook Hmm. God, you sound like right chavs.

Petal40 · 26/07/2016 21:20

These days you need a very very very thick skin to post on AIBU ....don't take anything to heart op x

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/07/2016 21:20

Why would you get the thread deleted?

I think posters have been quite harsh actually. Ok the egging on wasn't great but the rest really isn't that bad. He kicked a ball outside from an inside room, not even worthy of a mention, playing tag in the living room was probably a group game and the parents should have nipped that in the bud and that been the end of it. The ball from the other boy, I would have walked over and took it myself and told them all they had to calm down and put on a decent film and told them any more and parents would be phoned. Then if it continued I would have phoned. I think the parents were quite ott actually and I am no soft parent.

We had a group of mainly boys over for DS's birthday and one was being a pain, standing and jumping on our new sofa, playing with the recliner that my DCs know they aren't to touch, getting cocky with another adult when they were told to stop walking around with food but I told him off and didn't bother to mention it to the parents. He can be quite cocky and is a tad over confident to the point it can be very annoying but he's a child and I have no problem telling him off whilst he is at my house but it doesn't need to be reported back.

Waltermittythesequel · 26/07/2016 21:21

My ds9 was invited to a sleepover tonight which he couldn't attend and I had a message from host OP a few hours ago telling me she was considering sending them home.

How weird is that?!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/07/2016 21:22

It's all over your Facebook that parents sent children home from a sleepover for behaving like brats? Wow. Get new friends. The issue ain't the sleepover parents, the issue is the parents who make excuses for shite behaviour.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/07/2016 21:23

I like the word chav flogging no flaming here Grin.

SparkleSoiree · 26/07/2016 21:24

Tigger that's a bit harsh! Nobody was actually there to witness what really happened, the lad apologised regardless and has written another apology. But to go further and say he's had a poor upbringing is unfair, this is one incident.

Dutchcourage · 26/07/2016 21:24

From experience looking after a group of young lads you need to be on top of your game big time.

Sounds like they were taking the piss and the patents were expecting them all to be drinking coacoa in their stripey pajamas Grin

I would however tear a strip of any of my kids that got sent home from some bodies house for being disrespectful - high spirits or not. AND if I were ever in the position were I felt like I'd lost control of my home then yes, they would be sent packaging!

Eva50 · 26/07/2016 21:27

Check your Facebook Walter

MsJudgemental · 26/07/2016 21:28

This sounds familiar- is the other child's mother on MN also?

Waltermittythesequel · 26/07/2016 21:29

Nothing there Eva Sad

Udderz · 26/07/2016 21:31

I've had plenty of sleepovers with my 4. The kids have never been rude to me. they have been lively at times , while also being considerate, endearing, pleasant. Some even make me cupcakes while here

OrchidsAndLace · 26/07/2016 21:32

Ffs reading some of these replies you'd think the kids had just been released from a young offenders institute 😂

We have no idea how unruly the kids were really being, only the inevitably biased description provided by the host parents who will have been mindful of having to justify their decision to wimp out of the sleepover send their guests home.

Although if the parents of the other guests are now bitching on Facebook about safe environments, that also sounds petty and ridiculous tbh 🙄

TheWitTank · 26/07/2016 21:32

All over FB? Nice Hmm
The kids behaved terribly and were sent home. The parents presumably haven't been on facebook blasting your parenting skills and badly behaved children. I would be mortified if my 9 year old was that rude and would apologise profusely.

youarenotkiddingme · 26/07/2016 21:32

His behaviour was awful. He knows that and you know that.

But, if 3/4 boys invited have been asked to leave then it was clearly something that escalated quickly and possibly from something that wasn't your DS fault.

Best thing for kids this age and a sleepover is feed them and then take them out for run around etc. Then plonk in front of tv with more snacks until they fall into a food coma!

Are you questioning it because you blamed your DS and now wonder if it's the parent because of what the other parents are writing on FB?
Because I'd personally ignore that.