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Original poster

Twelve hugs a day?

118 replies

Icecappedpinetrees · 17/07/2016 21:41

Is this reasonable? 12 hugs a day with your children?

I'm reading 'Calm Parents, Happy Kids' and it suggests that your child needs 12 hugs a day in order to thrive. (8 to maintain and 4 to survive)

Do you agree? Do you manage this?

Or do you think it's unreasonable piffle paffle?

OP posts:
ginorwine · 17/07/2016 21:43

I agree
But not as a prescription
But as a natural thing 😄

NavyandWhite · 17/07/2016 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Believeitornot · 17/07/2016 21:43

I don't manage 12 a day when I'm at work. But I try and hug them first thing and when they need one (even if they don't think they do).

Not however because of a book. But because I like to and don't remember any from my mum :(

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 17/07/2016 21:43

Great if they let you.

I find it a bit degrading screaming 'hug mummy' up the stairs at my 13 year old.

I think we probably manage 12 though. We do hug quite a lot.

acasualobserver · 17/07/2016 21:43

What about four triple length hugs? Sounds like tripe to me.

Enkopkaffetak · 17/07/2016 21:44

omg dd3 would kill me. She tolerates 1 a day from me. (says she doesn't like hugs " it is like being squeezed but with happiness")

She is a calm and happy child. took me some time to work out how to deal with her as I like hugging. However once I stopped she became much happier

dd2 ould likely do double that..

I don;t manage 12 a day every day

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 17/07/2016 21:44

Hmm. I think how many hugs you want is quite personal. I'm huggy so probably naturally get more than 12 per day if there are people I like to hug around. Some people will want none. I imagine it's the same for children!

Sleeperandthespindle · 17/07/2016 21:44

I've read it. I liked the book. I cannot manage twelve hugs a day (with 2 DC). I feel permanently guilty because of this, especially as my DC are actually very huggy. In the week, we only have 3-4 waking hours together, and most of those are routinely getting ready for school or bed!

Wolfiefan · 17/07/2016 21:45

Are you supposed to count?
Can you do all twelve in the first 10 minutes they are awake and then ignore them until bedtime!
Sounds batshit to me. How do they come to such a number. Did they take 100 kids and try different numbers of hugs to see at what level they died of lack of cuddling?
Confused
I do actually think affection and cuddles (which autocorrect changes to cudgels!) are important. But I'm not bloody counting.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 17/07/2016 21:45

My mum had 'bad arms' and I wasn't allowed to touch her.

She did hug me a few years back and it felt very weird.

MrsKoala · 17/07/2016 21:45

How old are the kids? Mine are 4 and 2 and have one hug a day, i am quite strict on that. The fact it lasts 24hrs is another matter! Grin

If they are 45 tho, going to their work to hug them may be a trifle excessive.

Vixyboo · 17/07/2016 21:46

Just hug your child when it feels good and natural to do so!!

blueturtle6 · 17/07/2016 21:46

Depends on length of hug too surely?

treaclesoda · 17/07/2016 21:47

I'm always hugging my kids. Yet, perhaps hypocritically, I was the sort of child who wriggled away and went 'eeww,get off' if my parents tried to hug me when I was wee.

TerribleTwentyTwos · 17/07/2016 21:47

My DD (2) gets that at least every day, when I'm not working. I, on the other hand, hate hugs (from anyone other than DD and DP) and would cringe at the thought of 12 hugs a day.

Pinkerbeller · 17/07/2016 21:49

Calm parents and happy kids don't come from a prescribed number of hugs per day.

Having said that, if I ever meet any really calm parents and happy kids I'll fact check that statement.

Patterkiller · 17/07/2016 21:49

When they're small I think easy to get near that. As teenage girls 🙄 I am the anti Christ and burn them if I touch or look at them.

booklooker · 17/07/2016 21:50

I hug my dogs about 112 times a day blush kids get a bit less. grin

How sad that you seem to be a bit proud of that, NavyandWhite

oldbirdy · 17/07/2016 21:52

Ridiculous to proscribe. My son has autism and hates hugs. I have hugged him probably twice in the last 7 years. We 'boof' instead. It's a gentle punch. Hugging him 12 times a day would be seriously deleterious to his health.

SouthDownsSunshine · 17/07/2016 21:52

It's so prescriptive I'm wondering what constitutes a hug. Would a carry count? Sitting on my lap? Or just a hug hug?

MrsKoala · 17/07/2016 21:53

Does it matter who initiates the hug? I would say may dc don't so much as hug me rather they wrestle me to the ground and get me in a head lock.

12 head locks a day, is that the same thing? And what will they thrive in? WWF?

Incitatus · 17/07/2016 21:53

I'm recovering from a scabies infestation, so all hugs are out atm.

Will my dcs survive as it's been three weeks now? Confused

sorenofthejnaii · 17/07/2016 21:53

DS is a huggy person.

But when he takes forever to get off the computer and to get ready, it doesn't make me a calm parent.

NavyandWhite · 17/07/2016 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 17/07/2016 21:54

If my children would, they would just cling to me all day in one long ongoing never-ending hug. I have to peel them off. So I hug them a lot. 12 doesn't sound like a lot in that context. They are 4 and 2 - I realise things may change as they get older and I do love the hugginess, but I admit to snapping at DD today because she threw herself at my leg as I walked past her so she could hug it, taking me completely by surprise and nearly making me fall flat on my face.