WIBU to leave DD aged 10 in a public library?

[diplodocus]

Next year we will have a clash where both DDs need to be at after school activities in different towns at the same time. We were wondering about dropping DD1 at a public library a few doors down from her activity so she could wait in the children’s section (about 45 mins but I may be able to leave work and join her earlier sometimes) until her activities. She will be year 6 but nearly 11, and would be very happy to do this. We would talk to her about what she should do if anyone made her feel uncomfortable or there was an emergency, and she would have a mobile (although it may take up to about 30 mins for me or DH to get there, which I suppose is my main worry). What do you think? It’s certainly the sort of thing I would have been doing at her age. There are plenty of people in the library at this time.

I think it's okay so long as the activity provider knows that she makes her own way there, and to let you know if she doesn't arrive. With a mobile for her to let you know I think it's okay too

Although it might depend on the size of the town. I grew up in a village where people in the library would have known me. I guess that's quite different from say a big inner city library

Thanks Mummy - it's a very small city. No-one would know her, but it's generally a safe area.

As long as you aren't expecting the library staff to look after her then it should be fine.

I used to get my DD to walk to the public library to wait for me after work/school when she was that age. She wandered along, browsed the books and cam out when i text her. I don’t think it is unusual for children of that age to be in a library alone. I used to practically live in mine when i was young.

Perhaps it's best to check with the library?

Sounds godo. No - not expecting staff to look after her, although I would tell her to talk to them if there was a problem e.g. she was being hassled or something (in the same way as anyone would).

I think it should be OK.

My DD is Year 6 at the mo, and we're in the process now of increasing her independence, and pushing me her out of my her comfort zone in preparation for gong to secondary school in Sept.

It is normal and healthy for there to be a gradual loosening of the apron strings. We cannot keep following them around until they are 16.

I used to go to library on my own at that age. I think she's old enough.

I know, it's difficult isn't it SaucyJack? We live very rurally so the opportunities for independence are very limited, so I think this would actually be good in more ways than one.

Of course it's fine, it's more than fine. I wouldn't contact the library, they will think you are asking them to watch her. If she's a sensible kid she doesn't need to be watched. At this age having some independence will be great, and useful experience ready for next year and secondary.

My library has a sign up saying "no under 8s to be left alone". I guess your library will have a similar policy so why not double check with them?

The library won't think the OP is asking them to watch her, if she makes it clear she's just asking about their policy.

There are no signs, but will check if there is a policy. You often see kids of around DDs age there alone, but obviously don't know if parents are in another part of the library.

I used to spend nearly all my spare time in the library and have lots of happy memories

I wouldn't in my local library. There are known pedophiles who sit in there all day.

I would've been happy doing this when DD was in Year 6. Would also agree that it will increase your DD's independence in readiness for starting secondary school.

"I wouldn't in my local library. There are known pedophiles who sit in there all day."

You know this how? What do the police say about it?

I wouldn't do it, but if you feel OK about it, then that's your choice.

By 11, lots of children are in secondary and travelling to and from school independently, on buses, trains and so forth. I would find this fine, indeed my 10 year old dds have been allowed to go around town for about an hour by themselves at this age, although they never chose to go to the library (more like Claire's Accessories). If you are dropping off, picking up, and she has a mobile, I cannot see any issue with this whatsoever.

Maybe she is the police. My DH is and knows where they all hang out too (admittedly, he's in child protection) mind you they do tend to hang out where children are so it shouldn't be much of a surprise the possibility is there

She has a mobile with her, I would suggest as well as yours and DH numbers you add a few more ICOE. But your plan sounds fine.

Also you can register the phone on Find My iPhone (or whatever the equivalent is for the phone she has). Highly unlikely that anything will happen to her, but this could be useful because it'll show you where she is (as long as she has her phone on her!)

I used to let my kids go to the library (few doors down from my work) during the summer. They knew the staff in the children's section, and they often had little craft events etc organised. IME librarians are delighted to welcome (well-behaved!) children into the library, and it is a great place for her to while away less than an hour, so I'd say it's fine!

Shehas - I was thinking of a Tesco PAYG £12.50 phone for her! Mine isn't that much better to be honest!