WIBU to leave DD aged 10 in a public library?

[diplodocus]

Next year we will have a clash where both DDs need to be at after school activities in different towns at the same time. We were wondering about dropping DD1 at a public library a few doors down from her activity so she could wait in the children’s section (about 45 mins but I may be able to leave work and join her earlier sometimes) until her activities. She will be year 6 but nearly 11, and would be very happy to do this. We would talk to her about what she should do if anyone made her feel uncomfortable or there was an emergency, and she would have a mobile (although it may take up to about 30 mins for me or DH to get there, which I suppose is my main worry). What do you think? It’s certainly the sort of thing I would have been doing at her age. There are plenty of people in the library at this time.

Paedophiles probably hang out in many places where there are children and unless you keep them indoors forever you will always run that (very small) risk. Better to teach children how to keep themselves safe and tell them what they should do if approached by an unknown person. I would think in a library there will be staff who can be approached if any (not just OP’s) child feels uncomfortable.

I think it sounds a good idea. I would have loved it!

Also agree that whilst library staff shouldn't look after her she should feel comfortable enough to approach them if she is hassled- the same way an adult would.

Why would she need to contact the library? We're talking about 45 minutes once a week here.

My Y6 dd used to go to the library on her own or with friends to do homework at least once a week, op, here in scary London.

I think what you propose sounds absolutely fine. And why do we have to have ominous warnings about fucking paedophiles every time anyone suggests giving their children a bit of independence? No wonder helicopter parenting is absolutely endemic .

Are you thinking of doing this once a week? Or mo often? Once a week I think it sounds fine. More often and she might get bored, but I think she should be able to entertain herself for half an hour in a library fine. She shouldn't need looking after, more just somewhere warm and dry to go while she waits. if she is sensible and happy with the plan I can't see any issues with it.

I used to do stuff on my own at that age, I think it's fine if she's comfortable and would know what to do if she if she felt like she needed help.

Maryann - it would be only once a week, and I don't think she would get bored. She loves reading!

Sounds like a great plan, I'd have loved doing that at her age.

Oh I didn't realise it was only once a week - sorry

For some reason I thought it was every day

I'd do it without blinking tbh. I've a just turned 11 year old, she's been doing bits & pieces like this for a year or so. She goes into the library on her own if I'm in town & she doesn't think she can scrounge a trip to Primark. Mine has had a Tesco contract phone for about 18 months (£7.50 a month).

Another thought though

Check the library will be open because mine shuts half day on a Wednesday. It has done for over 20 years and I only just found out

I work in libraries and there are often children from that sort of age on their own, using the computers, reading, studying or choosing books. It is pretty much par for the course.

Thanks all - I know it's open as I usually go there while she's at the activity. Glad most people think it's reasonable.

As long as the library is fine with it then it sounds like a good idea. I have children at different schools and it is a nightmare that will only worsen in Sep when the school day changes and both children start and finish at the same time. I can just manage it (being a little early/late) and I'll need a plan too.

Why on earth would you tell the library?

Fine. I used to stay in the library and devour books whilst mum did errands near by.

You need a back up plan. I have worked in lots of libraries and we have often had to close early because of staff shortages/ training or problems with the building. We have had security alerts too and had to evacuate.
Be warned too there are often rather odd characters hanging around the library usually in the winter to keep warm. Usually harmless but could be disconcerting to a 10 year old.
We also took a very dim view of people who abandoned their kids in the library and had a difficult situation once with a child alone who became ill.

I'd have no issue with this at all for Ds1. The decent library staff would look after her if she was hassled, just as they would anyone in the library being hassled.

If you have iphones/pads I believe they have a tracker device by which you can see each other's locations (step son and his Mother have this though I've never used it). This might reassure you as you can have a quick spy on her whereabouts. (I fully intend to spy on my DD once she is regularly out of my line of vision). If your DD is a sensible girl then I see nothing wrong with your plan.

Sounds fine, I see children that age alone or with friends in my local library very often. Plus it helps encourage reading which is always good.

Had a situation once when I had a meeting clash with my babysitting obligation so had the 7 year old walk to the town library after school (just down the road and round the corner) and wait there for me (about an hour wait) and it went great - as the meeting was with child protection I asked them what they thought of that and they said it was a good idea, that a library is a good, safe place for a child when they have to wait for something.

No, please don't. I worked in one. It really isn't a good idea. Libraries are not crèches and the paedophile thing is more real than you could ever ever know. Just please please take my word on that. Library staff are not there to look after your 10 year old.

"Libraries are not crèches and the paedophile thing is more real than you could ever ever know. Just please please take my word on that."
Why? What are the police doing about it?

I wouldn't with my twins, who are going to 6 in Sept,even though there are two of them and that should make me more relaxed I guess. But that's me and in no way a comment on your decision OP

I could tell you horror stories, I can't because it would out me. I left the job because of stress, I lost count of the amount of HS3 forms I filled in because of abuse from customers. There was a particular man in his early 30's who would take a seat in the teen area almost daily and just watch, and sometimes approach the kids, being inappropriate and sometimes going around without his shirt on. What could we do? Nothing. But my hackles were up all the time and I used to shelve in this area to watch the kids who appeared to be on their own. This was not my job. Not anybody's job but yours. Sorry if I seem harsh but inside I am screaming NO

Bertrand all I have is my experience, I am a stranger on the internet but what I am saying is real. In my town you are not allowed to leave children on their own. One child age 8 walked out of the library after becoming stressed and was found walking on a dual carriageway about 2 miles away, trying to get home.

Police contact library staff all the time. Once trying to find out if a murder suspect was using library computers to plan a murder. He was.