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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at MILs comments?

104 replies

houseeveryweekend · 05/06/2016 23:58

Im not going to say anything to her but i just wondered if anyone would agree with her?
I went on a night out for my friends birthday in Liverpool (we live an hours drive away) I got the train there and had an open return ticket. I went alone whilst my DP looked after our 1 year old.
We went to a party on a boat and then to a club in a warehouse that went on till 5am. I didnt drink that heavily and had intended to get the first train back in the morning however at 5am all my friends there decided to go on to a houseparty which was a long way from the centre. I decided to go and wait for my train instead. My partner texted to say he was awake as the baby had woken at 5.30am. As the first train back wasnt till 7 he said shall i come and pick you up? And i said yes, so he did (bringing LO with him) arriving to get me at 6.30.
Now yesterday he happened to mention this to his mum who didnt react well at all! Asking why i had been out so late when i had a child to look after etc etc and basically saying it was outrageous that he had driven to pick me up.
My partner recounted this to me as he was pissed off with her for being like that and apologised for mentioning it to her.
It did make me second guess myself though so i wondered if she had any right to be like that? This was my first night out without DP since i got pregnant.

OP posts:

NoCapes · 06/06/2016 00:01

Hmm I think I agree with your MIL to be honest

HirplesWithHaggis · 06/06/2016 00:02

She's completely in the wrong, of course, but please don't stew on it. You had a good night out, don't let her taint the memory.

(Easier said than done, I know.)

wobblywonderwoman · 06/06/2016 00:05

i don't go out much but I don't see anything wrong with what you did. i eouldnt share anything with mil

crazycanuck · 06/06/2016 00:05

If it's not a regular occurrence, then your MIL is being a tit and should keep her beak out of it. Does she not trust your DH to look after your child? I wonder if she'd react like that if your DH had been out all night. Glad your DH is backing you up. Ignore your MIL.

Ningnang2000 · 06/06/2016 00:06

Eh no you are not being unreasonable. Your partner was obviously looking after the baby, at 5.30 am there is not a hope in hell of getting a baby back to sleep unless it's in a car so he might as well pick you up. You are allowed to let your hair down. It's not like it happens every weekend.

CodyKing · 06/06/2016 00:06

Nope - he offered to collect you - he is also a parent -

He sounds lovely - just ignore!

Original poster

houseeveryweekend · 06/06/2016 00:06

really? can i ask why? I didnt force him to come and pick me up, he offered and genuinely didnt mind doing it. It was sad that he couldnt have come with me in the first place but all our relatives live ridiculously far away so theres no one who could have had LO overnight. He had been on a work do the week before and i was home with LO so he got his own night out!

OP posts:

UntilTheCowsComeHome · 06/06/2016 00:07

It's got fuck all to do with your MIL.

You had a night out, and your DP was happy to pick you up to save you waiting for the train as he was awake anyway.

Fuck knows why your MIL thinks she has any say on what happened.

VioletBam · 06/06/2016 00:07

I suppose it's fine if it's not regular. Going out all night like that regularly would mean that you're not fit to be a good parent the next day. As a rare thing there's no problem.

Your user name suggests it's a regular thing though.

PhylumChordata · 06/06/2016 00:08

Sounds totally fine as long as it's not every week!
Sounds fun. Some women compete for martyr mother awards. Don't play the game

VioletBam · 06/06/2016 00:08

I don't think him picking you up is bad at all. Just going out like that regularly...if it IS regular.

Lovewineandchocs · 06/06/2016 00:09

I don't agree with your MIL at all! I'm sure u aren't out all night every night, it was ur friend's birthday, why shouldn't u enjoy urself? And no one forced ur DP to collect u, he offered! Ur MIL needs to wind her neck in!

Original poster

houseeveryweekend · 06/06/2016 00:10

crazy; yeah i think shes very old school in what she expects men and women to do. She once commented with surprise when he was changing a nappy as though it were such a marvellous thing for a man to do!!
And thanks for the reassurance guys! It is just strange when you think somethings totally fine then get a strong view to the contrary.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/06/2016 00:11

Liverpool is a great city to party in . You're happy, DP is happy, sod all to do with judgy pants

NoCapes · 06/06/2016 00:11

I just wouldn't expect a parent of a young baby - male or female - to go out partying till 6:30am really

Original poster

houseeveryweekend · 06/06/2016 00:11

haha Violetbam its from a song and the song is about being trapped in the house every weekend not going out!! although it is 'house' music haha

OP posts:

CodyKing · 06/06/2016 00:14

not fit to be a good parent the next day

Baby has two parents - one who's been out - one who hasn't - same as the week before

ijustwannadance · 06/06/2016 00:14

What the hell has it got to do with her? Nothing. At all.
Yabu for not getting a maccies by central station at 5.30 while waiting for a lift. It is the law.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/06/2016 00:15

It is none of her business.

Is your partner okay with it (looks that way from your op)? If he is then what is the problem. You're allowed a long night out enjoying yourself.

Lovewineandchocs · 06/06/2016 00:15

Being a parent doesn't mean you can't party sometimes-parents are still human beings with friends and lives! Your DD was with her father, no problem at all about that.

Original poster

houseeveryweekend · 06/06/2016 00:17

Ijustwannadance... i did actually fit in a maccy Ds!!!! I regret that more than anything!!

OP posts:

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 06/06/2016 00:19

I just wouldn't expect a parent of a young baby - male or female - to go out partying till 6:30am really

Thank the most rediculous statement I've ever seen. Why on earth not. The child was being cared for by a parent. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you can't have a life. Are you the MIL, sounds like it.

fatmomma99 · 06/06/2016 00:19

Women get so judged, don't they! It's disappointing when it's by another woman.

Original poster

houseeveryweekend · 06/06/2016 00:20

thats good im relieved the majority think its fine. As i said im not going to make an issue of it with her shes just from a different set up i dont think she got alot of support from DPs father at all so finds it odd. It was just a bit of a shock i suppose as i hadnt expected it to be an issue at all. I dont think DP had either or he wouldnt have mentioned it to her.

OP posts:

JayDot500 · 06/06/2016 00:24

It's your marriage, why do some mothers not understand! My DH is forever telling his mum stuff I could seriously drop kick him on the mouth over. At least he apologised, I never have had that luxury.

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