to be annoyed at MILs comments?

[houseeveryweekend]

Im not going to say anything to her but i just wondered if anyone would agree with her?
I went on a night out for my friends birthday in Liverpool (we live an hours drive away) I got the train there and had an open return ticket. I went alone whilst my DP looked after our 1 year old.
We went to a party on a boat and then to a club in a warehouse that went on till 5am. I didnt drink that heavily and had intended to get the first train back in the morning however at 5am all my friends there decided to go on to a houseparty which was a long way from the centre. I decided to go and wait for my train instead. My partner texted to say he was awake as the baby had woken at 5.30am. As the first train back wasnt till 7 he said shall i come and pick you up? And i said yes, so he did (bringing LO with him) arriving to get me at 6.30.
Now yesterday he happened to mention this to his mum who didnt react well at all! Asking why i had been out so late when i had a child to look after etc etc and basically saying it was outrageous that he had driven to pick me up.
My partner recounted this to me as he was pissed off with her for being like that and apologised for mentioning it to her.
It did make me second guess myself though so i wondered if she had any right to be like that? This was my first night out without DP since i got pregnant.

🍔🍟regret nothing!

I miss those drunken maccies before taxi. Although back when I did it the clubs shut at 2 and maccies wasn't 24 hour. old.

Sibu, probably old fashioned ideas about women's responsibilities. Ignore if you can, challenge if you can't, or avoid letting her know... anything.

Jaydot well i suppose that bit of its nice. Its kind of nice they just chat to their mums, i hope my son chats to me about what hes been doing when hes older. But i also hope i dont turn into one of those MILs who then decides what they should have been doing better and what their wife shouldve been doing better and tells them!!

Cody yes but if one parent goes out all night on a regular basis, then that parent is regularly not fit for parenting.

But OP hasn't said if she does this regularly or not.

yes i have i said it was my first night out in nearly two years!!

YANBU baby was with it's father. He and baby were awake and he offered to pick you up. Nothing wrong with that. So what if you're not fit to look after the baby the next day - as a PP said, the baby has 2 parents so your DP would have been able to look after him/her that day. You are allowed a night out! Why do people seem to think that men aren't capable of or shouldn't look after their children? Winds me up

Decaffcoffee yes i think it is exactly that. I dont want to have to challenge her really and im hoping that she wont ever say anything to my face. Im sure she wont. I think i could have a far worse MIL from what i hear so im counting my blessings and not going to call her up on it! It would only be a problem if she was convincing my DP of anything but she isnt thankfully.

Well then MIL is an unpleasant unreasonable person.

None of her bloody business if you're going out until 5.30am!!! And it doesn't matter if it is a regular occurrence as long as both you and your other half have equal opportunities to go out and enjoy yourselves.
Tell her to wind her neck in the interfering bat!!

Violetbam aww well now youve put that i feel sorry for her!! i think it was just a shock to hear that. I think all first time mums get a bit jumpy about doing the 'right' things so when you hear stuff like that it makes you second guess yourself. Shes just from a different era and her husband was a terrible father by all accounts who certainly wouldnt have let her have a night out by herself. He wouldnt even let her listen to the radio whilst he was at work! I suppose i shouldnt have let it upset me. I feel better about it now though. I think it seems most people would agree it was fine.

If it was your DH being out till 5:30 she would be fine about it? Hypocrite!

I wouldn't be telling her much in future. Old bat.

He wouldnt even let her listen to the radio whilst he was at work!

WTF??

"I just wouldn't expect a parent of a young baby - male or female - to go out partying till 6:30am really"

A young baby - like a few weeks or months old, yes.

But this is a one year old! Why on earth not?!

If the other parent has the child, what is the problem?

When DS was small, DP often worked nights and wasn't fit to look after the DC in the day. Was that wrong?

If not, what's the difference really - except this was a one off, and not a regular thing?

your Mil should mind her own fucking business.

Different generation problem I think. Obviously your lovely DH didn't expect her to react as she did. He was already awake and thoughtful to fetch you. Sounds like your friends know how to party 😉

Not unreasonable - in fact bloody brilliant - children need role models where women can be parents but retain their sense of self and have a range of friends who are not just 'mummies'. Keep on partying

icedcherry, I agree with your sentiments, but "Old bat"?

How lovely of your DH. Did he leave you in peace to sleep when you got home?. If so I'm very jealous

Yanbu at ALL!

What shocks me when I read these threads is chances are the mil's aren't much older than me! (I'm 43), so hardly coming from immediately post WWII marriages/ethos - that was my grandparents generation for goodness sake - and even my gran partied and she had 6 kids!

Utter nonsense- it's also irrelevant if it's 'regular' there's a limit??

I don't get the outrage. Your DH told MIL a story and MIL told your DH what she thought. She's entitled to her opinion. She's entitled to share her opinion with her son when he tells her about something. She doesn't have to approve of what you did, when your DH tells her she doesn't have to say 'oh how lovely'. It's not like she then came and told you her opinion, it's your DH who reported to you what he told his mum and what his mum said. If she had come to give you her opinion I would agree with the outrage.

Have to wonder why your DH repeated the conversation to you. Did he secretly agree with his mum, maybe he told her the story because he knew she would say 'oh you poor didums your wife is unfair' and then he came back to tell you what his mum said about you...

So long as your baby was well cared for by someone close to her and it's not something you would do very regularly I see no issue with it and your MIL should butt out.

But I have to say, I am at your friends wanting to go onto a house party at 5am. What kind of people even have a house party where people are welcome to arrive at about 6am? Their poor neighbours! And presumably they were total strangers you and your friends picked up at the warehouse club so it all sounds a bit dodgy and possibly drug fuelled. I am doing a very pronounced cat's bum face at that.

My mum would be a bit judgy if dbros wife did this. But she would never even hint at it to her and she would be judgy if dbro did it as well. She would be judgy if me or my dh did it.

Because she doesn't think anyone should be going out til 6.30am. She doesn't get it. Nothing to do with gender or parental status.

I think your mil is entitled to her opinion. She is not entitled to share it.

As long as you and your dh are fine with this and he could do it if he wanted, there is no problem.

Your dh is annoyed she said anything. He agrees with you. Why has your mils opinion made you doubt yourself? Why is her opinion over rising your opinion and your dhs?

Do what you want but I'd like to know where you found the energy...unless the above poster is right

I think kawliga has it.

Your MIL is BU, sure. Why does your husband need to stir it though? Why does he even need to tell her? It's his fault really isn't it? If he hadn't blabbed to her, she'd be none the wiser.

I'd be telling him not to "happen to mention it" next time, or if he did, then to make sure he defends you when she goes cosmic again.