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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not get the newborn obsession?

111 replies

hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 17:02

Currently feeding 6wo DS2 for about the billionth time today. He is overtired and grumpy and screams in outrage if I dare to hint at sleep. When he eventually gives in (through feeding / rocking / white noise of course), and I lay him gently down following an appropriate wait, he wakes up.

I have mastitis and of course was up loads last night with above little ruler and really did want / need to rest today while DH was off work.

Yet almost every random stranger I meet tells me to enjoy every moment and that newborns and these days are the most precious ever.

Really?

Are newborns not just cute little assholes? Give me an older baby / toddler any day, at least they entertain. Saying that, I can hear DS1 kicking off downstairs cos DH won't let him eat his pasta bake standing up. So admittedly, he can be an assholes too.

Do people just forget how relentless the early days are? Or AIBU not to savour every moment? Including when he gets sick in my bra?

OP posts:

IamlovedbyG · 02/05/2016 17:05

This reply has been deleted

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Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2016 17:05

I know what you mean. i found the newborn bit a bit meh after being v excited to have a baby then realised the first few weeks are crapola. All a blur of lack of sleep crappy breastfeeding and wondering what on earth I had done.

You should be able to fast foward

pantsjustpants · 02/05/2016 17:09

Rose tinted specs..... That's what it is! I'm sure we're naturally conditioned to only remember the goods bits, because if you remember all the crap bits there wouldn't be any more babies.

Personally, I love newborns. Other people's!

wowbutter · 02/05/2016 17:11

Newborns are great, when they just eat and sleep.
If you get a screaming one that refuses to sleep, not so much.
Maybe people think it's easier because they can't run away yet, or people are around to help you? Or maybe because if you have a newborn it's okay to be a slob?
I hated the first six weeks, my baby was an asshole, cried at me all the time and wouldn't let me sleep. After that he started sleeping more, got in a routine a bit and it got better.
I don't get the obsession either, they smell good and you get the odd quiet cuddle time, but the rest of the time they suck.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2016 17:13

We bought one of those swingy chairs and things greatly improved. We dug it out to lend someone years after DS2 was born and just hearing the tinny music on it made me feel on edge again.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 17:14

Newborns are wasted on new mothers.

IamlovedbyG · 02/05/2016 17:14

This reply has been deleted

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PerspicaciaTick · 02/05/2016 17:15

The newborn phase can be awful and stressful. But it is over in the blink of an eye. I cried the other day when my, slightly under the weather, 8yo climbed into my lap for a nap for the first time in years. I thought it would never happen again. I thought I would never the feel that sweet, warm, slightly damp deadweight in my arms. I was thrilled to have the chance again, but realistically it was probably the last time.

Original poster

hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 17:16

IamlovedbyG it is clearly used in a jokey way. Jeez.

Yes SB I also found the early days a bit of an anticlimax! Felt very guilty for that at the time but now realise my expectations were too high, partly due to so many people telling me how wonderful it was. At least this time I know it's ok NOT to find it wonderful.

OP posts:

mmgirish · 02/05/2016 17:16

If she wants to call her child an asshole, let her! Lots of kids are assholes! My oldest was an asshole when he was a newborn.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2016 17:17

YY it was quite ironic that I wanted baby DC1 out asap as I was fed up of being pregnant, then was fed up for a whole new load of reasons.

I have teens now. Still quite fed up actually.

EponasWildDaughter · 02/05/2016 17:18

I've got 4 DCs and i can confidently say that i do not enjoy the first 6 months 10 weeks or so at all. And i'm lucky to have had 'easy' babies - all 4 sleeping through by 6/7 weeks, no medical probs, ect.

I really start to enjoy them at 2 and up, when they can communicate a bit better and you can negotiate terms

Original poster

hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 17:19

Oh we do have a swing actually! He did sleep in it at first but stopped the other week. Not sure if it's wind related but doesn't seem comfy, same with car seat. I must try again though as when it worked it was great, regardless of ruining him or whatever. Needs must and all that!

Sometimes he sleeps pretty well in his pram and that's just great as I can play properly with my toddler and do things like eat

OP posts:

suspiciousofgoldfish · 02/05/2016 17:20

It's one of those situations where, when you are living it, it's pretty hellish. As soon as it passes and baby gets bigger, you look at other peoples newborns and think "gosh, wasn't that a lovely easy phase - all they do is sleep and eat!"

You ANBU. The newborn days can be long and tiresome.

ReturnoftheWhack · 02/05/2016 17:20

They are arseholes! DD cried for six months solid. I was just a mass of leaky tits, hormones and tiredness. Totally get the comment about hearing some (piece of crap) toy and it transporting you back to a dark place. I don't deal well with the clingyness, unpredictability and relentlessness of a newborn - my child bearing days are so definitely behind me. My children are very nearly 5 and very nearly 2 and if I could pause them now I would. But newborns - EURGH. I'm still so traumatised from DD I haven't even gone back to thinking newborns are nice again but I'm sure the time will come.

Original poster

hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 17:22

Perspic oh that made me well up. It's like that 'last time' poem. I feel that way sometimes when cuddling up with my nearly 3 yo in that I know I'll miss it so much when he stops. BUT I could still do without the early weeks!

OP posts:

IcingandSlicing · 02/05/2016 17:22

But they are adorable. Unless they're your own ones
I knkw exactly what tou mean. It's the tiredness. Don't listen to what people say, try to make your life easier by any means necessary.

MrPony · 02/05/2016 17:22

Oh I love newborns! I don't understand why people moan about having to be glued to the baby, what on earth is wrong with that? It's what maternity leave is for. I would happily do anything a newborn wanted me to do, I am happy to be at their beck and call.

AppleSetsSail · 02/05/2016 17:23

I totally agree that newborns are wasted on new mothers.

Please send your newborn to me, OP. I would be happy to send him back as soon as he's mobile.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2016 17:25

I was literally glued. It was a really hot summer. I was trying to get to grips with breatfeeding so sitting there boiling hot, topless, baby in just a nappy stuck to me and I was melting. Awful.

BlahBlahBlahWhatever · 02/05/2016 17:25

I feel sorry for any mother I see with a newborn... I just imagine they're tired and sore! I loved cuddling my newborns but would never want to go through it again!

All kids are arseholes at somepoint... My son(6) was this morning when he sulked because we didn't have time to do cinema & swimming in one day.
My dd(2) was an arsehole when threw a tantrum over her milk not being warm.

Get yourself a sling, it'll make life much easier x

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2016 17:26

Yes, sore nipples, no sleep and a tightly stitched up undercarriage don't put you in the best mood.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/05/2016 17:28

I've had single mastitis, double mastitis, nipple thrush, and some shit, shit nights with the DC when they were newborn, but I still loved every minute if I'm honest. I just really, really love little newborn babies

YANBU though.

AugustaFinkNottle · 02/05/2016 17:29

I agree with you, the first few weeks are anything but magical. It's much more fun when they settle down and start to respond to you more.

VagueIdeas · 02/05/2016 17:29

I HATE that guilt trippy discourse around enjoying every precious moment because one day they'll be fifteen and they'll hate your guts.

The newborn period is relentless and exhausting with very little gain. Newborns are cute (when they aren't screaming) and that's about it.

And you're perfectly entitled to call your own baby an asshole in a facetious manner on an Internet forum

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