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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not get the newborn obsession?

111 replies

hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 17:02

Currently feeding 6wo DS2 for about the billionth time today. He is overtired and grumpy and screams in outrage if I dare to hint at sleep. When he eventually gives in (through feeding / rocking / white noise of course), and I lay him gently down following an appropriate wait, he wakes up.

I have mastitis and of course was up loads last night with above little ruler and really did want / need to rest today while DH was off work.

Yet almost every random stranger I meet tells me to enjoy every moment and that newborns and these days are the most precious ever.

Really?

Are newborns not just cute little assholes? Give me an older baby / toddler any day, at least they entertain. Saying that, I can hear DS1 kicking off downstairs cos DH won't let him eat his pasta bake standing up. So admittedly, he can be an assholes too.

Do people just forget how relentless the early days are? Or AIBU not to savour every moment? Including when he gets sick in my bra? Grin

OP posts:
OvO · 02/05/2016 18:17

I love the newborn stage! Especially with my youngest. Was more relaxed with him as I'd made all my mistakes on his big brother. Wink. Plus he was the easiest baby ever. Just never cried, or threw up or was grumpy in any way. He's actually made it impossible for me to have anymore as karma would get me and send me a pukey screamer! Grin

My least favourite would be the toddler stage as you have to watch them every second and the wee buggers can outrun you! Still loved the toddler years though - just love the slightty older years (they're 8 and 11 now) so I can sit down a lot more!

I'll babysit all the newborns as much as you lot want, pass 'em here!

MyBreadIsEggy · 02/05/2016 18:20

The newborn stage is exhausting....my DD was quite a difficult newborn. Lots of feeding and reflux issues, barely slept for the first month of her life etc. But when I look back on it now, that stage was so so much easier than now. She's just turned a year old, and is at that awkward stage between baby and toddler. Her personality is really starting to come out now and she is a very strong-willed little girl! Real temper tantrums have begun now too. She needs entertaining all the time, and household chores are a lot more difficult to get done!
But I do feel your pain OP!! I too felt like the world was ending when I was so tired from feeding constantly!

Cheby · 02/05/2016 18:22

YANBU OP. I flat out despised the newborn stage. DD did.not.sleep and screamed the place down constantly. It was awful and it made me ill and depressed. Life became a lot easier once we were over the colic and by 6 months I actually enjoyed life again. I love the toddler/pre school phase. It's a dream, comparatively.

scarednoob · 02/05/2016 18:22

Lol at iamlovedbyG - get the stick out of your asshole, love.

Totally. DD did nothing but cry for milk and drink milk for 8 weeks. Now she's nearly 8 months and has been amazing since about 3 months. I can definitely see why they talk about the 4th trimester.

icklekid · 02/05/2016 18:24

Yep I did not enjoy newborn stage after 3 months baby was slightly easier, from 6 months baby started being enjoyable! Am now pregnant with dc2 and am hoping for a calmer baby without colic however expecting the worse and will just know it will pass...

YorkieDorkie · 02/05/2016 18:41

I first read your post and thought YABU but I'm one of the really lucky ones. My DD is 13 weeks and after about week 4 has been an absolute doddle. YANBU in the slightest. I know that when DC2 happens I'll be yanking my hair out because what are the chances I'll have another one like this!!

I cant link but read this:
theunmumsymum.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/cherish-every-moment-no-my-advice-for.html?m=1

YorkieDorkie · 02/05/2016 18:43

Ha X posted the link with lemon!

Great minds Grin

Silvercatowner · 02/05/2016 18:47

Please stop referring to your children as assholes
Mumsnet at its supportive best (not).
OP - its a good job the new born phase doesn't last long as humans would be long extinct.

KatyN · 02/05/2016 18:49

For the first two months of my second I would count the number of people who cooed into the pram and lamented how sad it was that babies grew up. It usually went beyond one hand and sometimes two.

The I took her screaming into a hardware shop and a bloke turned round and said 'I do 't miss that stage at all'.

Generally I think people are bonkers about newborns and then we carry on the charade by pretending it isn't as relentless and miserable as it really is.

She's now 4 months. Thank goodness!

UmbongoUnchained · 02/05/2016 18:54

So jealous of you all having asshokes when mine was a complete and utter wanker.

Alconleigh · 02/05/2016 19:02

YANBU. Newborns are the reason I don't have children. Bloody horrifying creatures. I don't get the attraction of other people's either. All that stuff about lovely new born smell. Maybe my friends are unusually slatternly but their babies smelt of greasy hair, sour milk, sick, urine or faeces generally. Not all at once but still.

Jenijena · 02/05/2016 19:08

Are you me? DS2 is four weeks,

Yes he's cute, yes I feel guilty as hell but

Crying
Not sleeping
Covered in baby puke
Poo leaking
Wee everywhere at the wrong time
Sore boobs, constantly on mastitis alert
No stitches but God knows what has happened to my undercarriage, I'm thinking prolapse, will find out at postnatal check,
Constipation
No flipping idea what he's thinking
Lost all brain capacity myself
Everything smells - of milk, sick, sweat or poo.

This will probably be my last newborn phase, and I know I will, one day, feel sad I don't do this again, but hopefully the smelly of half digested milk will remind me of what I'm not missing.

DS1 was very similar to this stage, so I'm expecting another three years of non sleep...

Ah, but they are cute :)

(Incidentally, we can think this without being depressed...)

Jenijena · 02/05/2016 19:11

Oh and I'm drowning- in people's lovely kind gifts but I already had more than enough clothes for a little boy, having had one of the species already, and now I have another trillion outfits which I'm supposed to feel grateful for, and all I do is feel guilty about as they'll probably never be worn and yet I'm supposed to give them storage space (which I don't have) rather than pass them straight to someone who might want them more.

MiaowTheCat · 02/05/2016 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ifiwasabadger · 02/05/2016 19:58

Newborn babies are hell on earth.

For the three minutes a day that DD snuffled on my chest, she was amaze. This was massively counteracted by her staying awake for 10 hours during the day and feeding on the hour every hour for six months. And not sleeping through until 14 months. I would rather die than have another newborn.

YANBU.

CountessOfStrathearn · 02/05/2016 20:02

Oh goodness me, I am with you, OP. I have babies to have children, but the newborn bit is a bit of a trial! It really is just as well that they are cute! Wink

RaskolnikovsGarret · 02/05/2016 20:11

Not a newborn fan at all. Loved the toddler, child and teen stage, but the newborn stage made me want to weep. When I see mums with newborns, all I feel is relief that they're not mine. Can't even fake any envy!

NorthernChinchilla · 02/05/2016 20:11

I think what's clear is that it utterly depends on what sort of baby you luck out with.
I've got 10 week old DD here. She and her older brother have been a relative doddle through the newborn stage... slept and eaten well, etc. Few grim bits with mastitis, very low grade colic, etc, but fine. LOVED those first few weeks when DP and I just watched films, went out, odd glass of wine.
I know many friends who have not been so lucky. And luck is all it is.

As for the 9-18 months stage, pass the fucking gin and a Taser Confused

CheshireDing · 02/05/2016 20:15

YABU

I LOVE newborns, no snuffly, tiny, yummy. Currently bf 3 day old newborn so definitely don't love the lack of sleep but find it easier than his 2 and 4 year old siblings at the minute !

CheshireDing · 02/05/2016 20:16

that should say "love" the snuffly etc

Original poster
hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 20:35

umbongo that Is so funny. Min definitely tips into wanker territory some days.

jenijena FX you don't get mastitis. Yy to your list! I love it when you start to get positive feedback, bring on the giggles etc. And down with all the high maintenance.

And that's just what I said to my friend - same as the pp who's name I've forgot due to sleep dep - that I wanted a child; the newborn part is a necessary evil Wink

OP posts:
tappitytaptap · 02/05/2016 20:37

I have a 5 week old OP. Totally agree with you - obviously I adore him and would do anything for him but its bloody hard work and relentless! He was in special care for a week having had a minor stroke. I was so scared during that time but remained very calm. He is fine now but on a low weight centile (unconnected to other issues) and it is stressing me out a lot with breastfeeding. I am on the verge of giving it up and giving formula. No one in my NCT group is finding it easy either, different reasons but no one is breezing through, if that makes you feel better.

Original poster
hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 20:38

chesire congratulations! Flowers tbf I loved the first two weeks where they sleep lots and dh was off work. It all went tits up after that for me! Agree on the snuffles though, super cute. I am also quite partial to his new little perplexed 'ooohhh' noises when he's 'happy awake'

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 02/05/2016 20:40

I love newborns
I have a 8 month old ds and I loved the newborn tiny baby bit although I will admit he is easier now there isn't so many sleepless nights

Original poster
hawaiibaby · 02/05/2016 20:44

tappity that must have been truly horrible Flowers glad he is doing better and hope you are OK. Do whatever is best for you with feeding. (Stating the obvious I know but sometimes you need to hear it.)

Thanks everyone - glad it's not just me - cherish each second my arse Grin

OP posts: