to not get the newborn obsession?

[hawaiibaby]

Currently feeding 6wo DS2 for about the billionth time today. He is overtired and grumpy and screams in outrage if I dare to hint at sleep. When he eventually gives in (through feeding / rocking / white noise of course), and I lay him gently down following an appropriate wait, he wakes up.

I have mastitis and of course was up loads last night with above little ruler and really did want / need to rest today while DH was off work.

Yet almost every random stranger I meet tells me to enjoy every moment and that newborns and these days are the most precious ever.

Really?

Are newborns not just cute little assholes? Give me an older baby / toddler any day, at least they entertain. Saying that, I can hear DS1 kicking off downstairs cos DH won't let him eat his pasta bake standing up. So admittedly, he can be an assholes too.

Do people just forget how relentless the early days are? Or AIBU not to savour every moment? Including when he gets sick in my bra?

Newborns are fantastic for an hour but that whole 24/7 thing gets old quite fast.

I didn't much enjoy the newborn phase - much more fun when DS turned into a "proper" baby

BTW he sat on my knee for a hug the other day & nearly squashed me flat - he's 18 FFS !

I love my newborn but she is pretty easy (and due to medication I can't BF). Other people's babies on the other hand when you have a crier...
I'm far more patient with my own than with one I can give back but I think that's because I know what my LO wants but with others I don't

I hated the newborn stage. Hated it. If babies arrived aged one is have dozens of them, as it is I'm sticking at 1.

I love the newborn phase! DS is 12 weeks and is still an absolute joy but I think the first 6 weeks of his life were truly the greatest time of my life. My body was a constantly leaking wreck, I was in agony (emergency section) and breastfeeding was hell but I have never ever been happier. It was like the early stages of falling in love, I was giddy with excitement and tramadol the whole time. I remember looking at him in his pram once (in Tesco) and my stomach did a flip-flop like I had just seen George Clooney

Everyone is different I suppose, I'm pretty terrified of the toddler stage as I find toddlers simultaneously hard work and very boring

I always thought I would love snuggling a newborn all day. I didn't. It was hell. Much prefer it all now that she's mobile.
Though I did see my friend with her newborn... and got broody. I gave myself a swift kick ;)

We all have amnesia I think

We were out yesterday and saw the most delicious newborn baby and I caught dh's eye and could see he was feeling as nostalgic as I was!

The reality was with 2 of our 3 newborns we had a hellish time. The third was a dream though until he became a toddler

hawaiibaby - I support your right to call your children assholes.

Also… newborns are cool and everything, but slightly older babies who can make you laugh are far more interesting.

Personally I think the whole first 3 years are over rated. They just eat, poo and scream. Dd didnt even manage sleeping. Now she is 4 she is awesome though.

I too love newborns, it lasts such a short time. But thankfully I can hand them back to their poor, tired, probably still sore, exhausted mummies.

Sometimes I think people say these things to new mothers just to wind them up. Of course if you get past the newborn stage it seems idyllic looking back but I would never say that to a new mother because I know it's just rose-coloured glasses.

Thinking about it rationally the newborn phase is hard work. I prefer it to the 1-3 age personally where they are just a danger to themselves and others but still mostly hard work. These days I take my 4.5 year old out with me for fun to go to a kids art festival or out to lunch whereas even he was 1 or 2 I just wanted a break from him!

When dd was a newborn she was great...clearly had downloaded all the "right" books whilst cooking about eat sleep repeat. However, come 8 months and sleep regression she became the biggest asshole going. She is 2 & 9 months now and has only just gone back to sleeping through the night little cow We are potty training now and daytime is great and dry with virtually no accidents in about 10 days but haven't even attempted night times because I have only just got used to having more than 2 hours sleep a night and frankly I am enjoying feeling human again instead of like a mombie!

My daughter is 10.5 months old now and I go gooey when I see newborns.

Then timehop kindly reminds of what I was tweeting during the newborn phase

"If my husband is home late again I will MURDER HIM".

"Hour 5 of baby being glued to me, send help. Send fucking wine".

*when

Terrified, are you me? I'm sure I've said that before! My one and only is now 13.

Newborns are fascinating little shreds of humanity and we are automatically drawn towards them. But..........if you are the mother it takes on a different complexion completely! It is a relentless nightmare with some newborns! If they weren't made so sweet we would not keep going!

This will pass - honest.

This thread has made me smile.

Yanbu at all, The newborn weeks are absolutely ghastly, and all that guff about precious times is pure sentimentalism. My immediate thought when I encounter someone with a newborn is sympathy, rather as if they're undergoing a combined earthquake and tsunami.

I love/ loved the newborn stage but both have been reasonable :) my friends baby was a bit of an asshole though and she didn't feel the same as me about it. I think it's fine not to love the newborn stage if you are knackered and it's not for you and healthy not to have rose tinted specs as the first expectation of things being wonderful can make you feel a bit shit if it isnt. Saying that I have had to work a bit when both were/are quite young so even when it is tough I kind of appreciate my time more possibly because I want to be home doing the mum newborn thing more than I am - though I might not feel this way if I wasn't working a bit :)

tell people to fuck off more
^

I of course know people are only being friendly when they say enjoy every moment but agree it does cause unnecessary guilt. Who could honestly enjoy your tiny baby screaming with trapped wind for example? (But oh the sweet satisfaction when they finally fart!)

I've realised that, for me, having kids and being a parent = good, but the early weeks and months = a bit of an endurance. I need to just accept that and not worry about wishing it away blah blah. Even though I'm clearly contradictory and hormonal as had a little weep yesterday when he outgrew a favourite babygrow

He's finally asleep. I don't dare move him even though we are both hot. Admittedly, he does look adorable. But I retain my previous stance that he's mostly an asshole

Have a read of this:
theunmumsymum.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/cherish-every-moment-no-my-advice-for.html?m=1

I'm currently 10wks pg with DC1 and this gave me some comfort when I was worried about the sleepless nights (and days) combined with "cherish this time!!" comments.

Good luck. And don't let the little assholes grind you down

See newborns can be great.... If it's only them you have to worry about add a toddler or two to the mix and it's a whole new ball game. That said, I do still miss the milky smelling, face sucking little assholes.
Every stage of parenthood is as hideous as it is wonderous and fabulous.

Newborns, and small babies are awful. Cherishing every moment is all so well and good if you do have one that just eats and sleeps,DD however woke two hourly till she was about 10 months old, and screamed the place down pretty much every moment she was awake (which was most of them, at 3 months she could go 6 hours without sleeping) it was shit. Really shit. Turns out she was poorly, and couldn't help it, bit they were still the most awful, dark months of my life. I challenge anyone to cherish every moment of any situation when they can count on one hand the times they slept for more than an hour and a half in 10 months.

10 weeks onwards for me.