to not get the newborn obsession?

[hawaiibaby]

Currently feeding 6wo DS2 for about the billionth time today. He is overtired and grumpy and screams in outrage if I dare to hint at sleep. When he eventually gives in (through feeding / rocking / white noise of course), and I lay him gently down following an appropriate wait, he wakes up.

I have mastitis and of course was up loads last night with above little ruler and really did want / need to rest today while DH was off work.

Yet almost every random stranger I meet tells me to enjoy every moment and that newborns and these days are the most precious ever.

Really?

Are newborns not just cute little assholes? Give me an older baby / toddler any day, at least they entertain. Saying that, I can hear DS1 kicking off downstairs cos DH won't let him eat his pasta bake standing up. So admittedly, he can be an assholes too.

Do people just forget how relentless the early days are? Or AIBU not to savour every moment? Including when he gets sick in my bra?

Total assholes.

I have no interest in newborns. Mine or anyone else's.

I found it so boring.

Your day starts at 5am, then precisely nothing happens except feeds and naps for 16 hours. Then you have a shit night of broken sleep, repeat for an entire year.

I can't fathom what anyone gets out of it

Me and newborns do not get on! I struggle massively with the hormones and the babies make me nervous with their unpredictability, one day they could be all settled and lovely and the next a screamy sicky nightmare!

Someone up thread said that hearing the tune from their swing made them edgy and that's exactly how I felt when I have mine to my Sister.

I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old and I'm much more relaxed now, I bloody love the toddler/pre school ages.

I thought it would be necessary evil stage but actually am liking it. Definitely not cherishing every moment though. Felt fairly neutral about washing the poo off the back of her neck late this morning (rather amazed that it was possible to go this far, plus it was a problem that I knew how to fix) but definitely un-cherishing 3am-5.30am today when I ran out of fix it ideas and resorting to openly whimpering and begging my 4 week old , "Please, please stop crying and just sleep, just half an hour, please"

People who tell you cherish every moment are assholes themselves

I personally think it's different for everyone, and possibly every child,see I like newborn and baby stage, even toddler, but preschooler stage is sending me around the fucking bend

DS1 is my pfb and I adore him.... But he is a complete asshole at the moment (for all the pearl clutches and hand wringers I would never dream of him being aware of me saying that....if he can read my posts on mums net I have bigger problems like the possibility he is planning to create a world government with him as the dictator with enforced paw patrol watching 24/7)

I reckon different stages send different mums up the wall.... Different strokes and all that

It'll pass op ... As I saw the other day motherhood is part guerilla warfare

yanbu at all.

Newborns are assholes. But I think the worst part is that you are expected to be all gooey with love for then, so then you feel like a shot mum because all you want to do is get away from the baby. And if you DARE say it out loud people look at you like this...

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with DC2 and bloody dreading it. Loving the knowledge that this is the last time and I will NEVER have to do this again.

Nice problem to have!!!

I know everyone wants/needs to moan and vent from time to time.... But just spare a thought for the barren sisterhood. I'm currently c £6k into fertility spend, halfway through private IVF (don't qualify for NHS) - 40% chance of success - and injecting myself twice a day for the chance of having your problems. Like I say, nice problem to have.

Hawaii - I am trying to take it one day at a time and every day there are great moments and anxious ones. He is getting weighed tomorrow so will see how the gaining is going. He has plenty of wet nappies so it must be going in! Hasn't pooped for about 36 hours but he tends to save them all up for blow out sessions... I am told this can happen with breastfed babies though.
I do wonder if my anxiety from being a new mum is related to breastfeeding or just being a new mum - find it very hard to separate the two!

Newborns have their moments. I will happily gaze at them in cafes etc - they are often very cute - with my rose tinted glasses. But I'm not going through that again. For 18 months after DD was born any newborn baby crying would make me want to run and hide.

On the plus side everyone is so nice to you when you have a newborn, all you friends/relatives come to your house and bring presents/cake and people complement you for showering and leaving the house and hand you stuff/feed you if you are breastfeeding :)

I guess the downside of everyone being so supportive is that tomorrow is my first day at home by myself with 3 week old DS without DH or DM and I'm terrified!

DM says it's definitely more fun when it's not your newborn, when DBro and I were little she was tired/worried all the time but with a grandchild caring for them is just fun.

icy sorry for your troubles but that's no comfort when you haven't slept for 8 months.

I don't think this is an appropriate thread for that post, sorry.

See I'd be more inclined to call older babies and toddlers assholes.

I have 2 DS and the eldest was a very colicky baby. DS2 was a dream new born in comparison.

The reason I don't think DS1 was an asshole newborn is that once he could smile, I was literally his world. He looked on me like I was the most beautiful being on the planet (in reality, I looked like shit). He would seek out my voice if there were loads of people about and basically tell all our visitors that they could do one.

The only reason he cried a lot was because he was in pain. I did everything I could to sort out his windy tummy (spent a bloody fortune) and it seemed to get better. Once it was sorted he was a great sleeper.

6 months later though? Asshole.

tappity snap with the poo! He's always much happier once he's been (he hasn't been in two days...) I had to really resist sending a photo of the last to dh, I was so pleased to see it! Good luck at weigh in and just - good luck. Accepting it's a worrying time (as a new mum and cos of your start) will probably help you you're doing great.

strawberry good luck tomorrow! So true about being congratulated for dressing

What vaara said.
anyway, I'm about to embark on newborn #4 and I know it's just a phase I have to get through. I really don't understand why so much is made of parenting babies and so little of the next 20+ years.
I can't help but feel it has something to do with the sitting duckness of inexperienced Unconfident mothers and the Bility to rinse them dry. But then I'm a cynic.

You're the dumbass that's done it twice.

YANBU the sleep deprivers aren't all they're cracked up to be

vaara gees give icy a break! A little empathy?

Icy I hope you have your baby soon. There will be phases you don't like but for the most part, they're awesome.

Ah icy I'm actually an ivf mum. It doesn't mean parenting Is a breeze for me though. Won't bore you with our long story but our journey wasn't easy and I love and appreciate the bones of our boys, completely.

However, that is a separate matter from finding it tough and it's a bit unfair to post what you have, I think. It's not about love or gratitude, I have both of those in spades. But I also cried with the pain of feeding earlier, am totally drained from lack of sleep and feeling like I've been hit by a train yesterday with the mastitis and of course juggling the pressures, adjustments and difficulties of taking 24 hour care of two tiny humans.

Nice problems to have, sure, but still problems and if parents are made to feel bad for seeking reassurance and lighthearted support on a parenting forum, I think that is pretty rubbish.

Good luck with your treatment, really hope you are part of the 40% ivf is such a roller coaster I know

Hawaii, its amazing how you start to talk about shit so much isn't it? He did a projectile poo that my MIL changed last week, she said she'd never seen anything like it in 25 years of childminding. I was obviously devastated at agreeing to her changing his nappy...! Feeling much more relaxed today than yesterday, today was my first day on my own with DS and we both survived!!

There's even a book!

My 2 ds were not bad ds1 was a bit of an asshole but he had colic after that stage he was fine
Ds2 was a great baby but by god I suffered when he became mobile he was wild

Then 13 years later dd was born omg for the first 18 months she was the smallest asshole ever!! think I called her a lot worse than that! She never slept she cried constantly and I can honestly say if she had been my first it defo would have been my last

Maybe we should collectively write the newborn addition of that book

Tappity - yep, I'm totally obsessed with shit. Love a good dirty nappy. Hooray for surviving the day, they should give out actual medals for this stuff in the early days!

My DS is 6 weeks old and my washing machine thinks hes a bit of an ass. Every day that thing is running now! It's never been worked like it!

Aaaand I've just been thrown up on. Good job I love him!

I love newborns. I mean deep, gooey, blissful love. And it's not rose tinted either as I have a five week old and can't get enough of the cuddles and sitting quietly feeding him. I feel a bit sad at how fast this time is going by.

Toddlers on the other hand ... Let's just say I'm finding age three a challenge!

Up at 4:30am with 16 week DD in my arms. She woke an hour ago for a feed, fell asleep. I put her in cot, she cried. Picked her up, she fell asleep. Put her in cot, she cried. So now she's asleep on me and I'm on mumsnet!

I think I would cherish sleep more than I cherish this moment. Will try and put her down again now, then will probably be too awake to fall asleep myself!

I was fortunate that both my DC were reasonably 'easy' babies. I still remember feeling slightly spaced out with sheer exhaustion. But actually, even at the time I also remember sitting for ages just cuddling them and looking at them and being filled with this overwhelming feeling of being at one with the world. Sorry, I know that sounds totally wanky.