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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this man is a shameless racist.

107 replies

Misssss · 13/04/2016 11:57

One of my very close friends has another close friend who I see fairly often as we all live in the same area. The friend of friend is lovely but a little too sweet. I don't think she has a bad bone in her body (she refuses to join in with bitching and always finds positives in everyone.)

Recently the friend of a friend has got a new boyfriend. At first he was ok but seemed very interested in the fact that I'm black. He was always asking for my opinion on the best Caribbean takeaway in the city or how to make jerk chicken. A few weeks ago we were in a bar and it was his round. I ordered a red wine. He came back with a can of Red Stripe for me because he thought I'd prefer it. I declined the drink as I hate lager and went and bought my own.

At the weekend he started to refer to me as "my n*gga" in reference to a popular hip hop song. He then had the audacity to play it on his phone in a pub.

By this point I'd had enough and called him on his fuckery. He got really defensive and said that his other black friends didn't mind and insinuated that I was being too sensitive. Friend of friend insists that he didn't mean it and he just thought i would find it funny.

Aibu to be annoyed?

OP posts:
TurnOffTheTv · 13/04/2016 11:58

I'd be furious. What a bloody tosser, a can of Red Stripe? Could he be any more blatant?

AnyFucker · 13/04/2016 12:00

I don't understand the Red Stripe significance but yes, he sounds like an overt racist

What a twat

TiffanyBonj · 13/04/2016 12:00

No, your not BU, what a little twat, the red stripe thing was out of order but the use of the N word just takes it to a completely different level, who cares if his other black friends are okay with it, and then to act like you're the one at fault is utterly ridiculous.

Pinkheart5915 · 13/04/2016 12:01

Not unreasonable.
I can see why you was annoyed, I'd be furious.

Maybe his other black friends don't mind as he said but when it is somebody you don't know you need to be aware that everyone has different ideas about what bothers them.

He's not very nice

Branleuse · 13/04/2016 12:03

eugh, of course hes racist. Horrid specimen

HooseRice · 13/04/2016 12:03

Ugh I hope your friend dumps this charmer very soon.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/04/2016 12:03

Yanbu what a dreadful racist twat, I would not have anything to do this any of them at all. I cannot understand how your friend thinks that this is ok?

Perfectlypurple · 13/04/2016 12:03

What is the significance of red stripe? But yanbu - he sounds a complete wanker.

Original poster
Misssss · 13/04/2016 12:04

AF, Red Stripe is a Jamaican lager. It's kind of synonymous with the country, like Guinness is to Ireland.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 13/04/2016 12:04

Ah, OK thanks

SoupDragon · 13/04/2016 12:05

I'm not sure about racist but he is most certainly an obnoxious twat.

Red Stripe is a Caribbean beer.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 12:05

What a prat!

CamembertQueen · 13/04/2016 12:06

That is disgusting. Racial stereotypes being promoted with "humour" is just as damaging. Your friends need to understand that. What an absolute prick!!!

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 13/04/2016 12:06

his other black friends didn't mind

anyone who invokes OBF is a racist bullshitter

RaeSkywalker · 13/04/2016 12:07
Shock

Unbelievably racist, and then minimising your objections. I hope he gets dumped ASAP.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/04/2016 12:08

Oooooh that n word goes right through me.
He's a disgrace. Does he know he's actually breaking the law. I tell you what I think your friend of a friend needs to get shut of him. She seems far too nice to be with that brute. She'll be corrupted in no time.

Pettywoman · 13/04/2016 12:08

It is racist, he is a knob. I'm sorry you have had to go through this shit. Flowers

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/04/2016 12:11

His other black friends didn't mind.
Well that's their porogative not to mind, but it's also your porogative to mind.

BooAvenue · 13/04/2016 12:11

Another one that doesn't understand the red stripe significance, but even so he sounds like a total tosser!

areyoubeingserviced · 13/04/2016 12:12

He is stupid.
I don't believe that he has any black friends'
due to the fact that he was fascinated by the fact that you were black.
He may even be attracted to you and in his own stupid way he may be trying to impress you.
He is a tool of the highest order and your friend should get rid of him.

MartinaJ · 13/04/2016 12:15

He's a total idiot.

acasualobserver · 13/04/2016 12:16

He sounds like the sort of person who begins utterances with, "No offence, mate but ..." before being unimaginably offensive. You'll just have to tell him to fuck off - I've a feeling a subtler approach won't work.

ElspethFlashman · 13/04/2016 12:16

I'd have been sorely tempted to dump the fucking Red Stripe over his head.

Avoid this couple as much as poss. He's awful and she's a wet lettuce. If you have to be in their company, a marked cold shoulder is appropriate, as well as excusing yourself to go o the loo whenever he corners you, and sitting as far away from them as possible.

If he starts getting narky (as racists tend to do) just say "paranoid, much?" and walk away.

He's not worth your time.

WakeUpFast · 13/04/2016 12:17

Shock definitely not unreasonable and not at all sensitive. What an arsehole.

I'd let your friend know that you won't be seeing her if she invites her other friend and bf as well again. Because quite frankly, I'm shocked they dont see his behaviour as anything but racist.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/04/2016 12:17

He sounds like a character you might find on Little Britain! Shock

What a knob!