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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a hand to hold

113 replies

Tootsiepops · 09/04/2016 20:13

...whilst my (legally dead) mum is in theatre donating her organs? I'm bereft. She went in for a somewhat routine operation on Wednesday, there were complications, and she's not coming home. She was declared brain dead last night. I am so lost. I didn't know the organ donation process was so lengthy. I really hope the recipients lead full and happy lives. I need something positive to cling to as right now I am struggling to get off the floor it hurts so completely.

Love you so much Mum x

OP posts:
PPie10 · 09/04/2016 20:15

Oh op I'm so sorry Thanks

ghostyslovesheep · 09/04/2016 20:15

Oh my goodness :( you poor poor thing - have my hand and a huge cuddle xxxxx

Sirzy · 09/04/2016 20:15

So sorry to hear about your mum, what a brave decision for you to have made to go for organ donation and I hope in the long run that gives you some comfort,
X

lordStrange · 09/04/2016 20:16

Flowers I'm so sorry.

I hope the recipients lead wonderful lives as a result of your mum too.

Coldtoeswarmheart · 09/04/2016 20:16
Flowers
Costacoffeeplease · 09/04/2016 20:18

How awful for you

I know someone waiting for a transplant organ, and you can be sure your mum is giving a very precious gift which will be very gratefully received and treasured

scarednoob · 09/04/2016 20:18

I've been in a v similar position and I know there are no words for the shock and disbelief. How can someone so central to your life suddenly not be there any more?

A very brave and selfless decision to donate organs and I hope it brings you some comfort. Look after yourself. I am so so sorry.

SavageBeauty73 · 09/04/2016 20:18

Big hugs!

Organ donation saved my best friends life.

Frostybird · 09/04/2016 20:18

I'm so sorry Flowers I hope you have somebody to take care of you for the next few weeks?

It's an amazing thing your mum has done and those recipients will be part of her legacy.

Dontcallus · 09/04/2016 20:18

Oh my. What a wonderful thing to do in your darkest moment. Hand hold here too.

cheesecheeseplease · 09/04/2016 20:19

Thanks hand holding and passing the tissues op, you are by far a braver person than I would be X

RaeSkywalker · 09/04/2016 20:19

So sorry to hear this. Thinking of you Flowers

Quietlygoingmad67 · 09/04/2016 20:19

So sorry - what a massive shock for you. Your mum has done an amazing thing being an organ donor - sending hug and strengths Flowers

twirlypoo · 09/04/2016 20:19

Oh sweetheart, Thanks for you. You and your mum are doing a wonderful thing for someone and their family.

figureofspeech · 09/04/2016 20:19

Oh I am so sorry to hear this Tootsiepops Is there anyone with you? I don't think you should be alone at this time. Just sending you virtual hugs and my hand to hold. I lost me dad last year and it was and still is awful. Thinking of you.

Fredmitten · 09/04/2016 20:19

So sorry for your loss.

Lots of people make the decision not to go forward with donation due to the time it takes, but most regret that decision later.

What your mum and you have done will make a huge difference to so many people, and they will have got the life saving call they have been waiting for.

Hand holding well and truly offered.

MrsSippy · 09/04/2016 20:19

So sorry for your sudden loss OP, you are being very brave and I'm sure the recipients will be eternally thankful for the decision you made. Here, hold my hand, we'll get you through this Flowers

timelytess · 09/04/2016 20:19

Flowers sending the most comforting hand-hold I can muster. she will be saving lives.

RJnomore1 · 09/04/2016 20:20

Oh good lord what a shock and what a wonderful thing you and your mum are doing.

Flowers
CombineBananaFister · 09/04/2016 20:21

Oh my Op thats awful, so sorry for your situation. As someone with knowledge of this, She will be making many lives much much better and the recipients will be truly grateful for this forever. It will save lives, am so sorry it is at your expense Sad

AlwaysDancing1234 · 09/04/2016 20:22

Hand holding, so sorry you are going through this but your dear Mum and you are doing an amazing thing by donating the organs and they will undoubtedly save and enhance lives Flowers

elastamum · 09/04/2016 20:24

So sorry. You are doing a brave and wonderful thing which will help others in great need x

MissBeaHaving · 09/04/2016 20:24

I'm so sorry Tootsie,
Your DM must've been a remarkable woman.
A hand to hold from me as I know this isn't easy.Thanks

londonrach · 09/04/2016 20:24

Offers hand and the biggest hug across the internet. Thank you. Your brave and very special mum is giving the most amazing gift to strangers that will change their life for the better. They will never forget her ever! Xxx

Buzzardbird · 09/04/2016 20:26

Flowers Your Mum is doing such a wonderful thing right now. I hope you can find some comfort in that.